Always
by Virginie24jb
Summary: Post-Always fanfiction. What happens now for Richard Castle and Kate Beckett? The Hamptons, laster-tag & poker games, bickering, teasing, ice-skating, kinky & funny moments... In a word? Caskett.
1. Chapter 1

_**This is the very first fanfiction I write about Castle... Please, be indulgent. :)**_  
_****__****__****__**Also, English is not my native language, I apologize in advance for any possible grammatical error.**_  
** SPOILER ENDING SEASON 4**  
  


_****__**Hope you'll enjoy!**_

**CHAPTER 1**

* * *

They were lying on their side, facing each other, catching their breath. Kate was grinning, but Castle was not. He looked dead serious. He was looking at her as if he was looking at a sparkling piece of jewelry. Beauty. Rarity. He was stunned. Was that really happening?

"You okay?" she said softly.

He didn't say a word. He kept looking at her with the same sense of awe. She looked at him, a bit worried.

"Castle... are you okay?"

"I... I just..." It took a few seconds for him to utter those words, but that's all he could say for now.

"A seducing best-seller author left speechless. How is that possible?"

He closed his eyes, swallowed. But when he opened his eyes, she was still here. Her hand was now caressing his cheek. She came closer, brushed her nose against his before she put a soft kiss on his lips. It looked real. It felt real. But was it?

It had started as a game. The first time he met her, he wanted her; just another conquest to add to the list. Just to have some fun. He knew nothing about her, only that she was a cop, and that she was _hot_. But she said no. _Hotter._ It raised the game. It then became a challenge. He swore to himself to find a way to have her. One day or another. Intriguing. Exciting. Fascinating. That's why he had chosen her to be his muse. She was unlike any women he had ever known.

But year after year, being by her side every day, going through all those ordeals and rough times together, he got to know her a bit more. At first, she was a mystery, a mystery he thought he would never be able to solve. He figured her out a bit. And he had loved everything he had learned about her since that first day.

_Remarkable_. Because of her strength, her determination in everything she did. _Challenging_. She had made him push his own boundaries, made him do things he had never thought he would. _ Maddening_. She had given him a hard time... many times. It was hard to get a clean understanding of her. She would not let anybody in. _Frustrating_. Her stubbornness sometimes could be irritating.

But remarkable. She was remarkable. Now he was really in love with her. The list had came to an end. He didn't want anyone else. He had found the one.

He remembered what Kate's father had told him. It was about a year ago, when he came to his place. When he personally came to ask Castle's help in order to make Kate back down. Jim Beckett had explained to him how it had taken three years for him to realize he was in love with the woman that would then become his wife and the mother of their daughter. They had spent three years working together every day. But only after three years had he figured out she was the one. Same thing had happened to Richard Castle a year ago.

Castle was looking at Kate. However hard he tried, he just could not believe it was true. After so many years of waiting, of trying to get to her... it was happening. She had opened up to him. She had offered herself to him. She had let him in.

He took her hand that was still caressing his check and started kissing it, gently. Her palm first. Then the soft skin of her forearm. Once. Twice. She was lying there, smiling, her eyes closed. He came closer and kissed her.

His forehead against hers, he was still looking for words. Words that could explain how he was feeling at that precise moment. But there was so much he wanted to tell her, so much he wanted to ask her. He could not find any word that could translate his emotions.

"I love you, Kate," he murmured and that was still not enough. She already knew that. So he kissed her again, more passionately. How else could he make her understand. "Are _you_ okay?"

She smiled at him. A real gentleman. He had been a gentleman ever since she had walked through his door. Even though he was dying to kiss her, to make love to her, he had taken the time to ask what had happened, to make sure she was alright. He was doing it again.

"Never been better," she answered with a huge smile.

"You promise?"

"I promise, Castle. Everything's fine."

He smiled at her. It definitely looked like she was fine, like everything was fine. But was it too good to be true?

"You know..." he started very seriously, "you can call me Rick if you want. I think we know each other well enough now."

His coping mechanism had rushed back. Humor. Or maybe that was just Castle being... Castle.

"Rick, huh?"

"Yeah."

She thought about it. _Castle_. She liked the sound of it. She was used to it. There was something enthralling about it. _Rick_. That made them sound so close, it felt much more personal. She bit her lip and asked, smiling, between two kisses:

"What else can I call you?"

"Whatever you want."

They kept on kissing each other.

"Ricky?"

"Oh, I like the sound of it in your mouth! Turns me on a bit, I-"

"Kitten?" she asked with a mischievous look.

He stopped short and bent his head on one side as he's used to.

"Okay, let's say anything you want _except_ kitten."

Kate kissed him back while placing herself on top of him.

"Wh- What are you doing?" Castle asked, uncertain of her next move.

She started kissing his neck without answering him. He was running his hands up her bare back, her breast was resting on his chest. Their lips were locked. Oh, that was good.

How the hell was that possible. He wanted her. Every inch of her body. How could you want someone that badly.

He made her roll on her back. He caressed her round scar that the bullet had left in the middle of her chest. He kissed it, then went for the other scar. The long one that she carried on her left side and that was going from her breast to her waist. He kissed it, from top to bottom. He kept on kissing her skin, her belly, her bellybutton... and below. He disappeared beneath the sheet.

She moaned of pleasure. _Castle_... Yeah, she liked the sound of it, and so did he. Her hand was running through his hair, then his shoulder as she kept moaning. How much more could he give her?

When he appeared again, he made his way to her by kissing every inch of her body before he could get to her mouth. He stopped, to look at her. She had her eyes closed but he could see tears.

"Kate, I'm sorry. I'm-... you're alright?" She nodded with her eyes still closed. "I'm sorry if I did something I shouldn't have. I-"

She put her finger on his mouth. Shut up, Castle. It was perfect. She made him come closer to kiss him. He needed to hear it. Yes, she had tears in her eyes. She was not sad. She was happy. Beyond happy. Did that even exist?

"It was perfect. I..."

He looked at her, silently, lovingly, as she was caressing his cheek. She wanted to say something but it looked like she didn't know how to put it.

"No one..." she swallowed before going on, "no one had ever made love to me the way you did." She finally opened her eyes, full of tears. "Thank you."

She had the power of leaving him speechless.

"No one loves you the way I do, Kate. Come here," he said rolling on his side, pulling her closer as she nestled against his chest.

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**Reviews are always appreciated! :)**_

* * *

_I decided to go with the FFN standard and add double spaces between lines and paragraphs. I will use two scene/section break symbols :_

_# # # # # : minor scene break. There's a small passage of time between two scenes that are connected.  
__########## : major scene break. It separates two scenes that take place in a different setting or at a totally different time (several hours later or on different days for example)._


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

* * *

A ray of light woke her up. After the pouring rain of the evening, the sun was back over the city. It was as if the weather was adapting to her mood. She was happy, serene. She hadn't felt that way for a long time. She had almost forgotten what it felt like. Pure happiness.

She turned around, searched for him with her hand but she was alone in bed. Laid on her belly, she raised her head and stayed still. She listened carefully and frowned. Noises. They came from the kitchen.

She put her head through the doorway of his bedroom. She silently stepped out and stayed out of sight behind the pillar, next to the living-room. He was making breakfast. Castle had not noticed her and went on with his business. She smiled when she saw that he was carefully arranging the plates, glasses and flatware. She could see he wanted everything to be perfect. Just like the night they had spent together. It had been perfect. She could see he was in a good mood. He was walking through the room, light as a feather. It was as if a weight had been taken off his shoulder.

She stepped forward and he eventually noticed her. He looked up at her. She was wearing an old shirt of his and damn, she was cute in it. Her hair were a mess. _Even cuter._ She was barefoot. _Totally cute._

"Good morning," he said looking at her, the spatula in his hand.

A hint of a smile appeared on his face, but nothing more. As though he was anxious that she had changed her mind. Maybe she wasn't so sure anymore. Maybe she needed... time. She bit her lip and smiled as she slowly walked to the kitchen area. She came closer, put her hand on his chest and looked at the frying pan.

"Pancakes, huh? I have a very French, deja-vu-ish kind of vision."

"Don't worry. I went to get the paper, no dead body at my door."

She laughed out loud. Castle's eyes lingered on her. She was trying to read in his mind but in vain.

"You're okay?" he asked gently.

"How many times are you gonna ask me that?" she frowned, faking exasperation.

Taken by surprised, Castle could only mumble a word or two.

"Well, I... I just..."

"It's okay, Castle, I'm joking," she said with a smile. "That's very sweet of you. I'm great." He didn't answer. He just kept looking at her. "What is it?" she asked.

"You look happy."

She got up on her tiptoes to put a soft kiss on his lips.

"Maybe because I am. And you've got something to do with that," she said stepping away and sitting on the bar stool. Castle could not take his look away from her. She was mesmerizing. "You should look at your pan, Rick," she said smiling. She knew the effect she could have on men. And especially on Castle.

"Slept well?" he asked looking up at her after having checked that the pancakes were not burning.

"_Sleep_ wouldn't be the word..."

Was she doing this on purpose? The way she talked, the way she looked at him. Castle cleared his voice. She was unsettling. Yes, she was doing this on purpose.

"You think I should get dressed, _Rick_?" she teased.

Get dressed. What a crazy idea. All he wanted was taking her shirt off.

"No... No, you're... Why would you..." he cleared his voice again and with an uncontrolled high-pitched voice, changed subject. "Hungry?"

"Very... but I'm not sure food is what I need," she said, once again bitting her lip, which always made Castle melt.

Now it was Castle who bit his. To refrain himself. He was aroused by her behavior, her voice... She didn't even try to hide it. He could see it in her eyes. He knew what she had in mind.

She could be very mischievous sometimes. He remembered her answer when at the end of their first case together, he had told her they could spend a great time together. The way she had answered 'you have no idea' had made him fall for her. That was it. He would do everything to have her.

The night they had just spent together had already been a great fun, but no doubt, she could do much more. Under her control-freak appearance, she definitely knew how to party. But that night had been about her. He had wanted to give her without asking anything in return. He wanted to prove to her he was not a playboy anymore. That she was important to him. That night had been about her. About making her feel appeased after everything she had been through. But now, she was switching the roles.

She stepped off the stool and came closer again.

"It's a bit hot over here, don't you think?" he ventured.

"Must be because of the hot plate..." she said playfully, turning it off.

Her hands on his chest slowly moved to his shoulders, then to the back of his neck. She made him come closer, took his mouth. Her tongue slowly stroke its way inside.

"Breakfast is overrated," he said when she let go.

"My turn to make you happy, _Ricky_."

He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. What the hell could he answer? Yes, she definitely had a gift for leaving him speechless. He rolled his eyes. Not of exasperation, but because he could only guess what she was up to. She leaned forward and started to kiss him again, he rested his hands on her waist. After a moment she took his hands in hers and slowly walked him to his bedroom.

This time, she led the way. She was on top of him, and this time, he would have to let her lead. No rolling her on her back. She was in control. She started by kissing his neck, then tenderly nibbled his ear and then made her way down.

"Kate... wait, you don't... you don't have to do this," he said between two breaths.

She came back to his mouth to make him quiet, before making her way down again. He could feel her tongue, her warm breath against his naked skin.

"Oh jeez... Kate..."

It was his turn to moan in pleasure.

# # # # #

He was catching his breath when she laid next to him.

"You know, that page 105... is totally lame, next to this. If only I had known..." he said between two breaths.

"You didn't have enough imagination, Mr Writer?"

"Oh..." he said smiling, seeing where she was headed. "I have plenty. Though, you may have helped me increase it even more," he told her as he was nodding. "I've got plenty, actually, I've got a special, from the house. If you're still hungry..." he teased.

"I've got one too. For very special occasions."

He turned his head to look at her. How did this happen? He used to be the one teasing and having the upper hand. Now he was abashed before her.

"Wh- what kind of special occasion?" he asked playing the innocent.

"No, Castle. I can't give you an insight, I don't have my handcuffs nor my gun. Plus, the setting isn't right..."

"Wh-"

"You've only scratched the surface, _kitten_," she added laughing.

"Are you serious? Or are you playing with me, just like at that haunted house?"

"You'll find out soon enough, _Ricky_."

That's when Castle's phone rang. It took a minute for him to move his attention away from Kate. Actually, he couldn't. He searched for his phone on the night stand with his hand, still looking at Kate. He gestured her to keep silent when he turned the phone to her, so she could see who was calling. It was Alexis.

"Hey, Pumpkin, how are you? Having fun?" he asked with a strange high-pitched voice.

"Hey, dad. You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm great," he said, all excited. Kate's fingers were brushing his chest.

"You're sure?"

"Oh yeah... don't worry about me!"

"Okay," she said hesitantly. "I wanted to let you know that I'm having lunch with some friends of mine so I'll be home sometimes this afternoon, if that's okay?"

"No problem. Thanks for letting me know, sweetheart."

"Love you, dad."

"Love you more, have fun."

He put it back on the night stand after having checked what time it was. 11:30 AM. Already?

"We still have a few hours ahead of us... hungry?" he added with a smile.

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**Reviews are always appreciated! :)**_


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

* * *

Breakfast. Eventually. Well, given the time, it was more a brunch than a breakfast. This time they were really hungry, for food. They had gotten dressed; Alexis could come home any moment now, they didn't want her to catch them in a compromising situation.

Castle was looking at Kate, his cup of coffee in one hand. She didn't ask what he had in mind. She didn't need to. She knew what he was thinking about, what he was looking at. She awkwardly put her hand on her neck to hide it. But he had seen it. And not just this one. Last night, they were just reddish blotches but they had been turning darker overnight.

"Last night, you told me it was okay. You told me to keep going, that it was nothing," he stopped for a moment. "What happened, exactly?" he said very calmly.

She knew the question would have come eventually. She took a moment, swallowed her sip of coffee and put the mug down. After a minute, she eventually started to explain.

"After you left my place, we got a lead on the shooter. Esposito and I went on our own. We got ambushed in his apartment. Espo got knocked down, so I followed the shooter upstairs. To the rooftop. He... We fought."

Castle was listening to her carefully. _Frustrating_. She could be frustrating. She knew this was risky, that she was putting herself in danger. And yet, she went, on her own. What was she thinking!

"I... He was too strong. At some point he hit me, I went over the edge. I was hanging there... he didn't do anything, he just... walked away. He could have finished the job, but no, he just walked away, probably thinking, and he was right, that I couldn't hold very long."

Castle couldn't help but picture the scene in his mind. And that was unbearable. She had told him that she almost died. But, Kate, hanging on the edge of a building? He could barely breathe. He hung on her every word.

"That's when I heard your voice," she said looking up at him. Castle looked at her questioningly. He wasn't there. "It was Ryan. He was talking but I heard your voice instead of his. Just when I lost grip on the edge, Ryan caught my arm," she paused. "He had not agreed with our decision to go there without back-up and told Gates."

They stayed without saying a word for a while. She had lost grip. The scene was playing over and over again in Castle's mind. He almost lost her, once again. Once again, because of the shooter, because of her mother's murder.

"I resigned," she said.

Castle opened his eyes wide.

"What?" he uttered with complete stupefaction. That's the last thing he expected. Kate Beckett resigning from the NYPD? Impossible. "Are you serious?" He frowned.

"Yeah, Gates asked us to give her our gun and badge... I told her to keep them," she explained looking up at Castle.

He kept silent. What could he say? She had buried herself in this job, this had been her life for years. And now she was giving it all up?

"Why? Was that on the spur of the moment or..." he didn't know what to think of it. _Good thing_. Maybe, just maybe she would stop haunting the shooter, she would leave her mother's case behind her. Was that a sign, she was ready to move on? _Less good_. Was she ready for this? That's the only thing she had ever done. What if she would start regretting it just a few days or weeks from now? "Are you sure about this? I mean, I... respect your choice, if that's what you want-"

"You're afraid of losing your muse, of lacking new inspiration for Nikki Heat, Castle?"

That's the last thing he had in mind. Work. Books. Who cared? He had been following her for years now, going on crime scenes in the middle of the night and putting his life at risk a few times, along with hers. After four years, the number of investigations they had conducted had given him enough material to write another hundred books.

"You know that's not my main concern right now."

"I don't need it anymore, Rick. I need to move on. I think I'm ready."

She had just said it. Moving on. Future. It was not about the past anymore. It was about her future. Their future.

They kept talking about it for a while. Esposito, Ryan. She had not talked to them since. She would have to, eventually. But she wanted to take the time, to do it right. She had been a cop her entire life. Now she felt like a baby that was learning how to walk. One step at the time. To move forward.

# # # # #

They had moved from the kitchen to the the living-room. Talking. They had been talking for almost half an hour now. What she felt when she was hanging on the edge, how she had hoped Castle had been there. Her time on that swing, under the rain, thinking about him. They were sat side by side on the couch, holding hand.

"You've got something on your mind, don't you?" Kate ventured.

"Well, I... Okay, just hear me out. You don't have to answer right away." He took a moment as she was looking at him wondering what he could come up with. "Look... you know that we generally spend summer in the Hamptons. This year we had planned on staying a few weeks, maybe two or three, because of Alexis's summer program at Columbia," he paused again. It was not hard to understand where he was getting at. "My mother's already over there as you know, and with Alexis we had planned on leaving on Monday afternoon. So..." he leaned forward, intertwined his fingers with hers. "Since you seem to have no obligations in the near future... would you join us?"

A wave of mixed feelings came up within her. He had a family. She was not part of it, and of course they had plans. What was she thinking? That he'd let everything go because of her? Especially after the way she had behave towards him? She felt like an intruder. But it sounded like a good plan. It had been a while since she had gone away, even on a week-end... When he saw she was not convinced, he tried a few arguments.

"Look, I know it's last-minute plan and if you don't want to tell them that we... I mean, that it... there's a guest room," he added to make his point. "The house is big enough," he paused again. "I think some time away from the city could be good for you, Kate."

"Rick, that's very nice of you, really. That's very sweet. But... I'd feel like I'm intruding. I don't know."

"That means you'd like it," he smiled. Yes, she did not say she would not like it, just that it would feel strange to her. "Kate, you're not intruding, I'm inviting you. You'd be very welcome. They like you. You saved my mother's life at the bank, she owes you," he winked. "They are both grateful, and so am I. If you want, I'll ask them. But I don't see why they would be against it."

Anxiety took over. He would leave her? Already? They had just started this, they were finally together and he was already about to leave, even if it was just for a few weeks? A few weeks. That's an eternity. But she needed him and according to what he showed her last night, he needed her, maybe even more.

"The thing is... I'm not going if you're not going," he went on, as if he had read her mind. "There's no way I'm leaving you alone, no way I'm going away from you."

"Wait... the way you're gonna spend your summer depends on my decision?" She realized her mistake. She'd been a fool. He would not leave her.

"That's right. I can always drive Alexis over there if she wants to go, and I could come back the next day. I'm not staying over there if you're not with us."

"That's... Rick, it's an opportunity to spend time with Alexis before she leaves for college, I-"

"Thanks for reminding me that she's leaving soon..." he said ironically, feigning sadness.

"You know what I mean."

"Kate, listen. It's okay. You know, when we're in the Hamptons, we're not together 24/7. I have to work, as crazy as that may sound, so sometimes I spend the afternoon writing while Alexis and my mother go out for shopping or for the beach, or whatever they like to do together. Of course, we share our special moments just the two of us: our childish laser games, and we eat ice creams before a series of horror movies... By the way, we still haven't watched those John Woo movies... Anyway, I just want you to know that there's a place for you, Kate."

She opened her mouth to answer but he didn't leave her the time. - "You don't have to answer now. I'll ask them, without giving them any details about us, just explaining to them that I'd like you to come, that it could could be good for you. But honestly, why would they say no? And if _you_ say no, I can always kidnap you. Force you come with us," he said with a smile.

Once again, she was about to answer but the sound of the front door being unlocked stopped her. Alexis. She was coming home.

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**Reviews are always appreciated! :)**_


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

* * *

After spending the night out and having lunch with her friends, Alexis was coming home. It was almost 3:00 PM.

"I'm home!" she exclaimed as she walked in.

"Hey Alexis! Had fun?" Castle asked getting up to meet her in the entrance.

"Hey dad! Yeah, it was-" she stopped when she saw that Kate Beckett was sat on the couch. What was she doing here? Didn't her father say it was over, that he was done with her?

"Hi, Alexis," Kate ventured.

"Hi."

"So, how was the party?"

Alexis was still looking at Kate and didn't seem to hear her father. A lot of questions on her mind. _Was she... Did they... Has he...?_

Kate got up and walked towards them.

"I should go... let you spend time together."

"Wait!" He didn't want her to leave. No, not now, not like that, not so hastily.

"By the way, congratulations on your graduation, Alexis. I heard your speech was the best there could be."

"He's not very objective," she said smiling a bit and looking at her father. "But thank you."

"You don't have to leave, Kate."

"We stay in touch," she told Castle very gently, briefly squeezing his hand.

"Sure," he resigned to let her go.

"Thank you," she added, looking deep into his eyes.

Thank you. Not just for the talk. Thank you for those four years where he had always been there for her. Thank you for last night. Thank you for caring so much. Thank you for-

"Always," he answered smiling a bit.

He looked at her as she was leaving. She turned around to look at him one last time before closing the door behind her. But that wasn't a dream, right? She had just spent the night with him. They were _together_. They were _okay_. As soon as she disappeared behind the door, he felt a part of him was missing. He already missed her. How cheesy, but he couldn't help it.

Alexis was gazing at her father. He was lost in his thoughts, looking at the closed door. He finally turned to look at Alexis who was waiting for an explanation. She wasn't angry. She was surprised. Confused.

"So, you had fun?" Castle asked.

"Seriously? You're not gonna talk about this?" she paused. "I thought you didn't want to have anything to do with her anymore."

"It's... complicated."

"Right. _We work together, we stop working together. I love her, I hate her. She likes me, she's angry at me..._" she teased. "You know who you two make me think of?" she paused but didn't get an answer. "Ross and Rachel. So what... you're gonna wait ten years before getting married? Well six years now since you've known each other for four... Dad, what's up? You're back following her at the precinct?"

"Not likely to happen any time soon..."

"What do you mean?"

He sighed on his way back to the couch. He promised to Kate he wouldn't tell Alexis about the evolution of their relationship. Not yet.

"Listen... A lot happened since I last saw her."

Oh yeah, _a lot_. But there were some details he would not tell his daughter. Ever.

"I'm not angry or anything, dad. I'm just trying to understand."

"She resigned."

"What?" she was just as astounded as Castle had been earlier today.

"Yeah, I got the same reaction. She needed to... talk about it. About what happened to her yesterday."

"And... what happened, exactly?"

##########

When Kate walked into her apartment, she realized how empty it felt, how lonely she had been for the last few months, few years. Alone and nothing to do. That was the first glimpse of her near future. Now that she had resigned. She had to find something else, something that would keep her occupied, otherwise she would go crazy. She went to her office and to those shutters that opened to the inside... There were not practical, except that they made a good board. She looked at the pictures and at those green and yellow cards where she had noted all the information she had gathered over the years._ Who does my shooter work for?_ was written on one of them. She would not know. She had given up. Years of investigation. She had buried herself in it and she was finally ready to let go. She started taking them down. One by one.

Her phone rang, she got a text. _I miss you. Want to see you_. She smiled. She missed him too. She felt the same way when she looked at his empty chair in the precinct. He was making her happy. She had denied that she was in love with him for so long. Second text. _I text you 'cause I can't say it out loud. Daughter's around._ She smiled again. She could picture him texting in secret and she could hear his whispering voice while reading it. Third text. _Oh and pack your bags, you're coming with us_._ I call you in a bit._

##########

There was something Castle wanted to do before leaving for the Hamptons. Castle had arranged a meeting with Ryan to have a drink together. He wanted to see him to thank him. He had saved her life and for that he was grateful.

"You've made the right choice, Kevin."

"Yeah... well, Javier wouldn't agree with you."

Castle and Ryan were sat the table, talking, waiting for a waiter. But there was something Castle had not told Ryan yet. Another guest was supposed to come, and he was just walking through the door.

"What's he doing here?" Esposito asked threatening, and already ready to turn around and leave when he saw that Ryan was at the table.

"Esposito, wait!" Castle exclaimed getting up to catch up with him.

"You weren't there Castle!"

"I know," he said in a way that betrayed the regrets he had. If only. "But I can tell you that if I had, I would have done what Ryan did. I'm not against you, just..." he paused. "He saved her life."

"Yeah? And now she's resigned and I've lost my badge. How is that?"

"You'll get it back." he paused. "But if she had lost grip and that no one had been there... What would you be saying now?"

Ryan was at the table, not saying a word even though he could hear them clearly. There was no need to add more tension. Esposito looked like he wanted to punch someone. He was angry, but not just at Ryan. Maybe Castle was right after all. It could have been much worse.

"You saw her?" Esposito asked.

Castle gestured Esposito to come and sit at the table, which he did, reluctantly.

"Guys, you need to get over it. There was right and wrong in both your behavior. Javier. You took the risk with Kate to go after that guy without any back-up. That was reckless and insane. But you did that for her, as a friend, thinking it was the best thing for her. That's loyalty. I would expect nothing less from you. Kevin, you saved her life. You took a decision in order to to protect her, even though you knew that could jeopardize your friendship because it would feel like you stabbed him in the back. That's courage. Stop blaming each other. You both did what you thought was right. Okay? And yes, I saw her. She's fine!" he told them, as to say that she didn't hold them responsible for choosing to leave the NYPD.

"She's really not coming back?" Ryan asked shyly to Castle.

"At least not for now, no. She sounds pretty settled about this. This is her decision, guys, we must respect it. She needs all the friends she can get right now."

"She called you?"

"She came to my place." _She was soaking wet, we kissed, she told me she wanted me and we spent the night together making love until... "_We talked about it," he simply said. "She told me what happened. She's not angry at you. She needs some time but she'll contact you, don't worry."

"I thought... Kate told us you were not part of the team anymore. What happened so that she went to your place?" Ryan asked.

"Things changed," Castle lengthily looked at them. He would not get into details. They were free to interpret that the way they chose too.

##########

Castle pulled his red sport car over, in front of Kate's building. It was Monday, in the early afternoon. It was time to leave the Big Apple, the city that never sleeps, to spend some time away and relax. So they could stop thinking about any trouble they had here and just enjoy some time off, together.

"That's all you've got?" Castle asked seeing the small luggage next to her kitchen counter.

"I travel light."

"I can see that! Well, it's a good thing considering... the size of the car. Wise decision."

Castle gave the bag to Alexis so that she carried it to the car that was parked in front of the building while, they told Alexis, they would check if everything was in order. Just to be sure the apartment would not blow up while they would be away because they had forgotten to close a gas valve for example. Actually, that was just an excuse. So that they could be together, even if it was just for a few minutes.

As soon as they heard the door of the elevator closing, he pushed her closer and kissed her gently. He missed her. He missed her lovely taste. He missed touching her. If only they had more time. They kept kissing and she ran her hand in his hair, she loved doing that. They wanted each other badly and there was just not enough time. He kissed her neck, she closed her eyes and enjoyed his warm breath on her skin.

Elevator. Danger. He stepped back and quickly smoothed his hair back. Kate chuckled. He looked like a teenager afraid of getting caught.

"Okay, ready?" he asked Kate as Alexis walked in the apartment.

"I think so," Kate answered with a smile.

Finally, they were all ready to leave for the Hamptons. They were almost ready to hit the road. He had forgotten one thing. Castle suddenly turned around, blocking Alexis and Kate on their way to the front door.

"Wait! Before leaving, a few rules that apply to our stay in the Hamptons," he said all excited. He looked like a kid about to make a solemn declaration.

"Oh dad..." Alexis sighed. She knew what he was up to. The rules.

"Hey, we've got a new member, she needs to be initiated," he told Alexis. Then he turned back to Kate. "I would have made you sign a contract but the printer died this morning. Okay, so here there are, please try to remember them. It is vital for your survival in our home."

Kate frowned and looked at Alexis, perplexed, expecting her to give her a sign. What could she expect?

"Rule #1: Have fun. If you don't like to have fun, this is not the place to go," he paused. "But I know you love to have fun. Rule #2: No restriction. You want to do something, do it. Life's short... _play more._ Just kidding, about the play more thing. But the rest is true. No restriction. Except one, see rule #5. Rule #3: Tradition, Friday night is sacred night. Pizza and ice creams while..."

He turned to point at Alexis, who ended his sentence, excited.

"... watching the best horror movies the cinema has to offer!"

"Wether you like it or not. Friday night is sacred. Rule #4: Relax. It's vacation... Do not do eleven things at the time. There's 24 hours in a day, that's plenty of time. Do not run everywhere in the house because you forgot something. Slow down. Take the time. Rule #5: It is absolutely prohibited... to get up before 8:30 am. And even _that's_ too early. I've tried to change it to 9 but it has been vetoed. Go figure..." he said turning his menacing look to Alexis. "And, finally, a special Kate-rule: make yourself at home. If you're hungry in the middle of the night..." he paused. He tried not to chuckle. Hungry. The last few days, that word had got a complete different meaning. _You can come to my room._ No, he could not say that. "If you're hungry, go to the fridge and grab yourself something to eat. Don't wait to be starving. You agree with all that?"

She had been smiling ever since he started enumerating those rules. That sounded so like Castle. In a nutshell, enjoy life. She nodded. Of course she agreed.

"Then, please raise your left hand and say _Agreed_."

"Left hand?" she asked raising eyebrows.

"Yeah, left hand," he smiled.

"Okay... Agreed," she said her left hand up.

"Alright," he said clapping his hand. "We're ready to go!" he exclaimed and led the way to the door.

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**Reviews are always appreciated! :)**_


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

* * *

Kate had settled in the back seat of the red sport car to let them sit next to each other. She was already feeling like she was intruding, she couldn't take Alexis's seat on top of that.

Music was playing. Castle and Alexis were singing along. It was like being in a bus that took them to summer camp. Her hair in the wind, sunglasses on, she bent her head backward and closed her eyes. It felt good. That was a good start.

Once in a while, Castle would look at her in the rear-mirror. They would exchange looks without saying a word. No need. Sometimes he just wanted to check that she was really there, that she had not vanished into thin air.

"Ever been to the Hamptons, Kate?" Alexis asked in the conversation.

"No, I'm afraid not."

She knew it was the playground for the rich and famous, with luxurious houses and some of the most beautiful beaches in the world. But she couldn't afford it.

# # # # #

Kate made her sunglasses slide down her nose a bit to look at the house, as though her glasses were playing a trick on her. She wanted to make sure. But with or without sunglasses, she saw the same thing.

"_This_ is your house?!" she said, stunned.

"Told you there was enough space," he said with large smile.

It was a modern house sitting on a little hillock. Two stories, a large terrace arranged as a lounge and a swimming-pool right in front of it, looking at the sea.

"This is... _huge_!"

"Wait until you see inside," he gave her a wink. "Five bedrooms, just as much bathrooms, a huge living-room... I'll show you around, don't worry. We also have maps available in the entrance," he joked.

"Kate!" Martha exclaimed as she was hurriedly walking towards them. She was literally welcoming her with open arms, already ready to hug her. Which she did. "How are you doing, darling?" she said all excited.

"I'm great, Martha, thank you."

"I'm so glad you're here with us. We're gonna have a lot of fun. I've already prepared your room, unless you want to share one with Richard..." she teased. Castle chocked and coughed a few times. Then he turned to look at Kate. No, he had not said anything to his mother. She did not know. She was just joking. Well, at least, he hoped so. "Come on in! Richard, please, take care of the luggage while I take Kate inside."

No time to protest, she was already on her way to the house, holding Kate's arm.

"Need some help, dad?" Alexis asked.

"I can handle it, thanks. Go ahead, I'll meet you in there."

The house looked bigger with every step she took.

"I'm sure Richard told you about the rules? He's very serious about those," Martha asked as they were walking in.

"Oh yes, he did," she answered in a laugh.

Kate stopped dead in her tracks when she discovered the interior of the house. _Wait 'til you see inside_. The entrance directly opened onto the living-room. The first-floor was a large and bright space opened on the kitchen. The walls and ceilings were white, the floor was made of polished concrete that was so shiny. There was a large step that led to the dining-area and the kitchen, whose ceiling was covered with wood. It was classy. Modern furniture. A mixture of white, grey and wood. There was a cozy fireplace and a large flatscreen television in front of a vast couch, two arm chairs and a glass table. In the corner, was standing a _small_ bar, with three bar stool.

The bay window was running all along the first floor. The large terrace had been arranged as an exterior lounge covered by a wooden roof. The swimming-pool was large, bright blue, surrounded by wooden floor. There was even a bed next to the pool: a white mattress on a springer. She noticed what she believed was a private boardwalk to the beach. How could he ever leave that place?

"What do you think?" the voice came from behind. "Like it?" Castle asked putting her luggage down.

"That's..." she couldn't find the words. She looked up and saw the mezzanine.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Let me show you around."

# # # # #

His office. Wood, grey, white. A large room with a huge shelf. _That's where he had been writing parts of his novels_. She approached his desk, sliding a finger on it as she looked at the shelf.

"You've read all of those?" she asked browsing through the books.

"Not _all_ of them. But a quite a few. That way I always have one at hand."

As she was looking around, something caught Kate's attention. A picture. It was framed, sitting on his desk next to a laptop. Castle and Kate at the Old Haunt. They were all smile, holding each other by the waist.

He walked in first and kept the door open for her. She was amazed, a little more every time she walked in another room of the house. This time it was a large bedroom that had a lounge, and a relatively bid dressing-room. She looked around and raised her head a bit to try to see behind a wall that cut the room in half.

"The bathroom," Castle explained as he walked towards it. She followed him.

There was no door to separate it from the bedroom. There was a walk-in shower, its walls were covered with dark marble and the floor of the room was made of wood. Spacious, luxurious. Even in a four-star hotel she had never seen such a sumptuous bathroom.

"It's yours," he said looking at her to see her reaction.

"What?!" she asked turning to him, her eyes wide open.

"That's your room... when you won't be in mine," he added.

"No, wait... That's... What?... It's..." he laughed when he heard how surprised and confused she was. "How big is yours?" she asked astounded. That room was like half the size of her entire apartment, so how big could _his_ room be?

"Pretty much as big as this, that's the one across the corridor."

"Rick, I can't... this is too much!"

He turned to face her and put his hands on her hips. He brushed his lips against hers and kissed her softly. His tongue slowly stroke its way inside. She ran her hands in his hair. After a moment, she pulled back.

- "If it is any comfort for you, just keep in mind that I didn't build this room in two days... it was there before I invited you."

"I know!" she said throwing a gentle punch at his arm. "Still..."

"Well, I hope you won't fall in love with it so much that you won't come to mine..."

"Depends... what does yours look like?"

# # # # #

They had been walking around the house, he had shown her every room and had a story to tell for each of them. There were about to end the tour. His bedroom was the last room they visited. Strangely, she thought it would have been bigger, more luxurious than the others. It was _his_ after all. But no, his room was _just_ as spacious as the others.

"I've got one more thing to show you," he told her, his hand on the handle of a door adjacent to his bathroom, ready to twist it open. The door was not visible when they first walked in, he had had to push aside a sliding wall.

What else could he could he come up with? Each room was more beautiful and elegant than the others. He slowly opened the door and let her walk in first. She couldn't believe her eyes. The floor and walls were all made again of polished concrete. A beige sofa lying against the wall, a low-shelf with a book or two and iPod speakers on the left... Spotlights were slightly illuminating the room so that it was not too bright. A jacuzzi. Not any jacuzzi. It was rather _small_, compared to the rest of the rooms and it was built into the ground, you needed to walk down two steps to get in the water. A few brown pillows were lying around it. Peaceful, elegant. He walked towards her and put his arms around her from behind.

"That's my little secret place," he whispered. "No one else comes here besides me. When I need to relax, to clear my head, I come here and nothing else matters, nothing else exists," he paused. "I can totally picture us in there... cut off from the rest of the world," he said kissing her temple. She rested her head on his shoulder.

"You said no one else..."

"No one," he insisted. Even tough he had spent summers here with Gina, she had never put a foot in there. No one had. Ever. "Except you."

She slowly turned around, in silence, and looked deep into his eyes.

"I'm flattered. But... why me?"

"Because I want to share everything with you."

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**Reviews are always appreciated! :)**_


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

* * *

Time for dinner. The first one in the Hamptons, they were all reunited around a meal that Martha had spent hours cooking as she was waiting for their arrival. But first, Castle raised his glass and looked at Kate.

"Let me welcome Kate among us," he started solemnly. "Indeed, you've welcomed me, accepted me... and put up with me, in your everyday life for four years. I am very grateful for that. But now, please let me share mine with you, at least for a few weeks. It's your turn to know more about what my life looks like... when I'm not chasing criminals around New York City with you. Less interesting but definitely more fun and probably with less chances of getting killed. Although..." he thought about it for a second.

"Right, like the time you thought it would be fun to set off fireworks in the house for the _opening ceremony,_" Martha said rolling her eyes.

"Oh, and when he tried to know if he could go scuba-diving in the swimming-pool..." Alexis added, shaking her head.

Castle was trying to speak but couldn't get a word in edgeways. They kept listing all the most stupid things he had done over here. And there were a few. Kate looked at him, raising eyebrows. Were they making this up? Castle looked world-weary. Apparently, they weren't.

"Okay, girls! Thank you. I think we got your point. Please let this be a dinner to welcome Kate in our home, not one that would make her want to leave first thing tomorrow..." he said looking at each of them insistently. "Don't worry, Kate. You're perfectly safe here, it's just that with rule #2... rule #2?" he questioned her.

"Hm, no restriction?" she asked, taken off guard.

"Right. Very good. Well, with that rule you tend to do things that seem like a lot of fun... only to realize how stupid it was once you've actually done it."

"Happens pretty often with you... you should learn to look before you leap," Alexis told him with a little smile.

"I'm the perfect example of what you shouldn't do. _Do as I say, not as I do._"

"I couldn't have said it any better," Martha added.

Castle turned his look on his mother. No need to overdo it. Kate couldn't help but smile at seeing their bickering.

"Anyway. Kate, welcome among us. Hope you'll have a great time surrounded by that crazy family of ours."

"Thank you," she started. "I'd like to thank you all, really. I'm gonna lay low..."

"There's no such thing as laying low over here," Castle broke off.

"We're genuinely happy to have you with us, Kate," Martha answered.

"And don't worry. What happens in the Hamptons stays in the Hamptons," he winked at her.

##########

Hungry. Kate was lying on her bed and she was hungry. She got up and slowly opened the door of her bedroom. She sneaked her head through the doorway and looked around. No one. They were all asleep. She got on her tiptoes and crossed the corridor... before walking inside the opposite room. She slipped under the sheet. Castle was lying on his side, awake. He felt a presence behind him.

"Kate?" he whispered.

She put her head on his shoulder and bit her lip.

"I'm hungry," she paused. "I think there's a rule for that, that says not to wait until I'm starving."

He turned his head and saw her smiling. He started kissing her gently. She was a fast learner.

"That's right. And I wouldn't want to be charged with... what is it again? Failure to render assistance to a person in danger? I can't let you starve," he said still kissing her. He slowly turned around to face her. "What would you like?"

"Full meal," she whispered. She wanted him, badly.

"Hmm, sounds good."

"Hope it tastes good," she teased.

It was the first time since they had spent that first night together, that they could do it again. But he wanted to take it slow, enjoy every second of it. He had missed her delicate flesh, the sound of her voice asking for more. She needed to feel every part of his body, his strong, yet gentle, embrace. He knew how to handle strength and delicacy at the same time. How did he do it? It was as if he knew exactly what she wanted, what she needed, without even having to ask for it.

They needed to be discrete, there was no noise in the house and they didn't want to get noticed. They both thought it was even hotter, more exciting.

She tried to refrain herself from moaning, but that was not easy.

"Stay in me, stay in me..."

"I'm right here, I'm right here, Kate," he whispered in her ear. She loved his velvet voice, especially when he whispered her name.

"Stay inside me," she needed to feel his presence, deep down into her.

"I'm not going anywhere, Kate," he whispered before adding a last thrust.

She let out a moan of pleasure, she just couldn't help it.

##########

He woke up first, she was still lying next to him, her face turned towards him. He looked lovingly at her before having an idea. A stupid one, as often. He started making funny faces, very close to her face. He frowned, opened his eyes wide, squinted...

"Are you done?" she asked, her eyes suddenly going wide. Castle startled and let out a shriek.

"God, Kate!" he took two or three deep breaths. "Are you trying to prove you can kill me without your gun?"

She bursted out laughing.

"You should have seen your face, that was so funny!"

"For you maybe..."

She put her hand on his heart.

"Oh, your heart is racing!"

"What do you think?"

"You got scared?" she asked making fun of him.

"Laugh all you want, you were just as scared when that zombie woke up on Perlmutter's autopsy table."

"Seriously, you're comparing me to a zombie?" she asked, looking upset.

"No... I... I just meant that if you had been in my position, you would have been just as scared. 'Cause you were terrified when that guy sat up and ran away."

"No," she said trying to save face. "I was just... surprised."

"Right. You should have seen your face! Plus, the first reaction you got: getting your hands on your gun. That says it all."

"It's a... cop reaction. We can't help it."

"You totally panicked," he said smiling. "But so did I. And I didn't have a gun to protect myself."

"Castle..."

"I know, _shut up_. Understood. Done."

She leaned forward to kiss him.

"I better go back to my room before everybody gets up. It's almost 8:30, curfew's almost over..."

"Wait, wait. No... just..." he kissed her back and slowly brushed her hair. "Don't..."

"I gotta go. See you for breakfast," she added.

##########

Kate and Castle had decided to go visit Southampton. Walking hand in hand in the shopping streets, they were talking. Kate had been stunned to see how expensive everything was around here.

"I don't understand, what's the point in buying something that's extremely expensive, when you've got the same thing ten times cheaper in another store?"

Castle made her stop in front of the window of a boutique selling men and women clothing.

"Okay. Look at that and tell me that it's not beautiful and totally worth the money. Well?"

"Alright, true, that dress is beautiful but $2,500 for it? Seriously?"

"Oh, yeah, nice dress. But I was looking at something else. Over there," he told her pointing further on the right. "What do you say?" he grinned.

She looked up at him shaking her head. She couldn't change him. She came closer to look at it. It was a sexy nightgown.

"Seriously, have you seen the price?" she asked.

"So?" he asked in a normal tone.

"I can't afford that even if I wanted it!"

"You may not..." he said with a huge smile, already on his way to the door. "But I can."

"Wait, no, no! What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he asked walking backward to the door. She grabbed his hands to make him stop but he was stronger. He gently pulled her inside.

"Mr Castle! So glad to see you back over here," the clerk said.

"Kevin!" Castle exclaimed reaching out his hand. "How are you doing?"

"Very well, thank you."

"Let me introduce to you, the one and only... Kate Beckett."

"Oh, _the_ Kate Beckett! What a pleasure to finally meet you," he said all smile, shaking her hand.

Kate looked up at Castle. How did he know her? What had he told this guy about her?

"Nice to meet you too," she replied, a bit confused.

"So, what can I do for you today?"

"Kate saw this wonderful dress in the window. You think she could try it on?"

"Of course! Please follow me," he told her walking with her to the fitting rooms. Castle followed them and sat on the chair nearby.

"What did you tell him about me?" she whispered as Kevin had left to look for the right size.

"Only good things, I swear."

"You-"

"There you go!" the clerk said, giving the dress to Kate.

When she walked out of the room, with the dress on, Castle couldn't believe his eyes. It brought out her silhouette and perfect shape. She was spectacular in it. She had already worn beautiful outfits but nothing came close to her in this dress.

"You're... beautiful, fabulous, magnificent..." he stopped, his mouth wide open, his eyes locked on her.

"Breathe, Castle," she teased.

"I'm trying... But I think I'll need mouth-to-mouth resuscitation very soon."

She approached and kissed him gently.

"Feeling better?"

"Oh yeah... better. Thank you."

She turned around, looked at herself in the mirror. Not bad. But expensive.

"Okay, sold!" Castle said. "No _but_, no protest. Sold!" he added before she could even open her mouth.

She walked back into the room but was soon standing on her tiptoes to look over the curtain, holding the nightgown. He had asked Kevin to discretely put it in there while she was out.

"Castle, what is that?"

"Oh, come on! Just try it on, so that I can see you in it at least _once_ in my life."

She frowned.

"Please, please, please..." he begged like a child. She gave up.

"Fine..." she grimaced.

"Oh, you're killing me Kate!" he exclaimed when he saw her in it a few minutes later.

"Okay, saw it, can I change now?" she said.

"Wait, wait! Let me enjoy this moment. This is... pure perfection!" he said getting up.

"You've seen enough," she walked back into the room as Castle put on a sad face.

"I'll take it too," he whispered to Kevin.

As they walked out of the store, Kate took a peek into the bag.

"What are you doing?"

"Old habit. I always look into the bag to make sure-" she stopped. "Rick?"

"Yes?"

"What is that?" she asked pointing at the sexy nightgown at the bottom of the bag.

"Shhhh, don't speak too loud. I stole it," he whispered looking back at the store. "When Kevin was busy wrapping the dress, I slipped it into the bag." She remained stony-faced. "Okay, maybe not," he paused. "You're welcome by the way."

She smiled and kissed him on his cheek.

"Thank you."

"Always."

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**Reviews are always appreciated! :)**_


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

* * *

Kate and Martha were walking back home. They had shared the morning together to let Castle and Alexis enjoy some time together at the house. Just the two of them. Soon, Alexis would be leaving for college and those moments that he cherished so much would become scarce.

"I'll help you out with this, Martha!" Kate said smiling as they walked through the door. "You don't need to-"

They stopped short when they saw Castle and Alexis in their laser-tag suits. Castle was rejoicing in victory after having surprised Alexis in the kitchen. Another win to add to his score-card. He stopped when he saw them at the door, but Kate seemed barely surprised. He looked like a kid that had just been caught his hand in a candy box.

"I know, childish. Plus, this suit is not very flattering. I must not be very attractive looking like a Christmas tree, with all those lights on..."

Kate was trying not to burst into laughing.

"You should have worn that when we were running after criminals, Castle. I'm sure they would have been terrified and would have surrendered much faster."

"Laugh all you want, Katherine Beckett," Castle started, approaching her with a defying look on his face. "2,005 points, over 16 victories in a row. A merciless soldier in a dreadful war. Want to confront me?"

"Actually... I think this could be fun," she answered defying him.

"She's in my team!" he exclaimed turning to Alexis. His tone had changed in a split-second.

"Wait, no!" Alexis replied. "That's not fair."

"_Life_ isn't fair, you better get used to it," Castle replied back.

"Wait, no, no!" Kate said, approaching him in a playful manner. "You said _confront_, I'm with Alexis."

"Life isn't fair, you better get used to it," Alexis retorted all smile.

"But no points. You get tagged, you lose. The last one standing wins," Kate continued. Castle didn't answer. He seemed hesitant. "What? You're not afraid of a little action, are you?" Kate asked very softly as she was coming even closer.

Their face were just inches away. He could almost kiss her. Make love, not war. Make love... like last night when she came to his room to... No, _focus Castle_! She had declared war. So be it. He squinted.

"Alright. All of us suit up. Fifteen minutes to prepare our plan of attack. The whole property, not just the house. What do you say?"

"Wait, you've got another suit for me?" Kate asked dropping her threatening look to go back to her normal tone. Castle did the same.

"Yeah, we've got a third one. I bought it for my mother one day but she never wanted to wear it. I never understood why," he said shrugging his shoulders. Martha, who was still watching them, rolled her eyes. "I think it will fit you," he added.

Martha shook her head. She felt like a babysitter with three kids in the house.

"I'm leaving the battlefield, beating a treat to reach a non-combat zone," she said turning around.

"That's wise, mother. We wouldn't want to have collateral damage," he told her before turning back to Kate. "Ready? The fifteen minutes start when you're suit up. Can I watch you get suit up?"

"Dad?"

"Right... sorry," he said before exchanging a last threatening look with Kate.

# # # # #

The girls were in Alexis's room, studying the schematics of the house. Castle and Alexis had played so many times in that house, every inch was important. They both knew every hideaway.

"He said the whole property this time. I'm guessing he will be positioned outside the house."

Kate was pensive. That would be too easy.

"I don't think so," she said with a smile. "I think that's what he wants us to believe. He'll be inside. Holding position, ready to attack us if we put a foot outside. What's the best angle to see the rest of the property? Can someone walk on the wooden patio roof?"

"Hm, I don't think anybody ever tried. But you can access it from his bathroom and the last guest room."

"We need a distraction."

# # # # #

A few minutes later, Alexis stepped out of the house without any weapon, limping, calling after Martha. She seemed lost. She was hurt. Her right hand was covered with blood and so was her right temple.

She got tagged. She turned around to see her father, hidden in a corner of the patio roof.

"Stop, dad! I fell in the stairs when I walked down to get the schematics. Where's grandma?"

He didn't believe her at first but she didn't have any weapon and when she turned around, he noticed the blood. Where the hell was Kate? She was supposed to be with her.

"You're okay?" he yelled.

"Not really," she groaned with pain and sat down on the ground. He didn't know what to think. But his paternal instinct took over. He climbed down from the roof and ran towards Alexis.

"What happened?" he asked.

"I don't know, I just stumbled upon-"

Suddenly, he heard the sound of defeat. He had just got tagged.

"Not the time!" he yelled to Kate.

"Don't worry, Castle, it's superficial," she said climbing down in her turn.

Kate had sneaked up on the patio roof to take his position after he had touched the ground and was rushing to get to Alexis. She bursted into laughing as she approached them, so did Alexis, who had been willing to sacrifice herself for the cause. It was their turn to rejoice in victory.

"Ah, Castle!" she exclaimed laughing, before doing a high-five with Alexis who was wiping up the ketchup. "Got you! Game over," she said with a deep voice. "You seem to forget I have tactical training, Mr _merciless_ soldier."

"You..." he said pointing at his daughter. "Betraying your father that way, playing with his feelings... Cruel. Totally uncool," he said.

"Oh, come on, dad! I never thought you'd fall into that trap. Way too easy for you. You've seen much worse. What happened to you?"

"That was totally cute though," Kate added with a smile.

"Careful you. I'll seek revenge when you least expect it."

"Oh, I can't wait to see that. I'm terrified."

##########

Later that day, Kate was in her room when someone knocked on her door.

"Come in!"

Alexis walked in. Kate was wearing a sleeveless top and a pair of jeans. She was drying her hair with a towel. She had just taken a shower.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you. I just had a question but that can wait," Alexis said hurriedly.

"No, it's okay. Come in," Kate answered with a smile. "You managed to remove all the ketchup?"

"Oh, yeah," she said smiling. "You... haven't put your stuff in the dressing-room yet?" she asked, surprised to see Kate going to her luggage to get a pair of socks.

"Hm, no, not yet..." she answered with a shy smile.

"That's what it's for, you know."

"I know but..." she hesitated.

"You're not intruding," Alexis simply said. "You're here at home, Kate."

Kate nodded. She had been told to make herself at home several times_. Easier said than done._

"I know... I'll do it, I promise," she paused. "You said you had a question?" she asked to change subject.

"Yeah..." Alexis ventured.

Kate gestured her to come and sit in the lounge.

"I was just wondering..." she looked up at Kate. "After you left for college, how different was your relationship with your father?"

"I see..." she smiled tenderly. "You want to know if you and your father will stay as close as your are now?"

"Sort of...?"

"Well..." Kate chuckled. What could break the bond those two shared? "First of all, you guys have a very special relationship, that I don't think many fathers and daughters have. The bond between you two is rock-solid. It's impressive, when we see you together, it seems like nobody can get between you two. Sure, you won't see him as much but... the good side is that when you'll see each other, on week-ends for example, you'll be even happier to spend time together. You'll enjoy even more those moments you'll share. Trust me. The relationship I had with my father was different. We were close when I was a child, but not _overly_ close either. Definitely not as close as you and your father," she paused to think about all those baseball games he had taken her to. "As you know, I left for Stanford when I was 18. I didn't come home every week-end, we would call each other once in a while but that was it. When I moved back to New York..." _after my mother's murder_ she thought, "it was under special circumstances." Dramatic circumstances. She had come back to New York to be with her father after Johanna Beckett had been murdered. "Our relationship was different. Those circumstances actually got us closer. But not because of college or me moving out of the house..."

"I understand," Alexis answered realizing how her innocent question had brought back painful memories.

"I'm not worried about you too. Not at all. It will be different for sure, but not necessarily in a negative way. It will probably be just as fun."

Alexis looked like she wanted to ask something else. Kate simply waited, gave her the time.

"Can you... promise me you'll keep an eye on him when I'm gone? He needs someone to make sure he doesn't do anything _overly_ stupid... You know him," she said rolling her eyes.

"I promise," Kate answered after a moment. _More than an eye_...

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**Reviews are always appreciated! :)**_


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

* * *

Through the bay window, Castle could see her standing there on the terrace. Kate was leaning on the handrail. She had been for a while now. The sun was coming down. He came next to her, leaning as well.

"Hey."

"Hey," she said looking up at him.

"I know I'm gonna get beaten for saying that but... you okay?" He just couldn't help it.

"Yeah," she answered, a little evasive. He kept looking at her, a little mixed up. "You don't believe me, do you?"

"I-... I see that you've been standing here for quite a while now, gazing at the horizon. I can tell there's something on your mind. I just want to make sure you're fine. So... are you?"

She kept silent, still lost in her thoughts.

"It's just... It just feels surreal sometimes."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... this, Rick," she gestured to show what surrounded them. It was not just about the place, but about what they were doing. "It feels... too good to be true."

"You can't enjoy pure happiness, can you? You always need some drama," he sighed. This had just slipped through his mouth. As soon as it was out, he regretted it. The tone was not right either. "Sorry, that's not what I meant."

"Right..."

"Kate-"

"Castle, would you please just leave me alone for a while," she asked looking away.

"No," he answered firmly, his eyes locked on her.

Kate threw him a look of exasperation and started walking away, but he went after her and stood in her way.

"Damn, Kate, sometimes you're..." he started, frustrated, moving his hands as to strangle someone.

"A pain in the neck?"

"No. Jut the most frustrating person I've ever known. Why do you do that? Why can't you share? You're like..." he looked for his words. "You're like a snail that just suddenly hides into its shell and doesn't let anybody in. As soon as we hit the nerve, you just flit. You're laughing, enjoying everything and then out of the blue you become withdrawn. You can open up and other times you're just an undecipherable mystery. Even the NSA couldn't decrypt you," he paused. Humor. Something lighter. "Kate, I'm here!" he exclaimed while still trying to keep his voice down. "I want to know. I'm interested in _you_, in who you are, in what you've got to say. Don't you understand that?" he asked, annoyed. "Don't you trust me?"

"You know I do, that's not the point."

"Then what is? Why do you behave like this? If you trust me, why is it so hard for you to _talk_ to me?" They both stayed silent a moment. He calmed down. His voice was soft again, almost reassuring. "I'm not a stranger, Kate. Or is that the problem?" _Touché._ How did he do this? He said he couldn't understand her and yet he seemed to be reading her mind. "Are you so afraid of showing who you really are to someone that you know will be there by your side tomorrow? Is it easier for you to open up to a complete stranger? To someone you'll never see again rather than to someone that..." _wants to spend the rest of his life with you_. He sighed.

Was it worth it? Was she even listening to him? Would that change anything? Was there anything he could say that would make her understand?

She could see she was hurting him. She didn't mean to. But what if he didn't like what she said, what she thought? What if opening up to him would reveal a side of her he would not appreciate? Would he change his mind?

She briefly looked up at him and turned around to walk back where she had been standing earlier, when he came to see her. He came near her again and waited, waited for her to eventually say something.

"We're here, having fun, relaxing, taking the time... we all get along. It's like everything is perfect. It's like the world around us doesn't even exist. But at some point... we'll be back to reality and I'll have to find a job, I..."

That was it. She had something on her mind. Her future. And she had no idea what it would hold for her. That's what she was worried about.

"It's gonna be fine, Kate," he told her very softly.

"How do you know?"

She was right, how did he know? He didn't. He couldn't. But he had faith in her, in them.

"I know you're the strongest woman I've ever met. I know your determination, that can sometimes, if not often, lead to stubbornness. I know you never let go."

"Good will is not enough, Rick..."

"True, but it's a start," he paused to let her think through it. "Hey..." he said very softly, turning himself to face her. "Think of it as a brand new beginning," he started. "A lot of people dream to be able to start all over again. This is your chance to do whatever you like. You've always dreamt of being... a painter? Go ahead, do it. A zookeeper, an actress, a logistician...? Do it. Go for it."

She thought about it for a moment. What did she really want? She had no idea yet.

"What if..." she hesitated, not knowing what his reaction could be. "What if I realize that I've never wanted to be anything else but a cop?"

He swallowed. That's what he had feared. And yet he couldn't change who she was. It was in her nature. What did he expect?

"Is it something you already know or just a supposition?"

"It's just a supposition," she reassured him.

He thought about it for a moment. It definitely could happen. Old habits die hard.

"Then you'll go back to being a cop. When you're ready. When you know for certain that it's what you want."

"You wouldn't be against the idea?" she asked.

Castle was surprised. How could he be against the idea? He had never asked her to stop working for the police, only to stop investigating on her mother's case. It had to be her choice, not his.

"I'm gonna tell you something and I want you to bear that in mind, okay?" he paused. "You don't have to change anything about yourself to be with me," he said insisting on every word. "I love you the way you are, with your qualities and your flaws. Because you do have flaws, I'm sorry to tell you," he added with a smile. "All I want is for you to be happy. If that means you need to go back to working for the NYPD, so be it. Just... I'd just like you to be sure, and that you don't make that decision because it's the easy way out."

A hint of a smile appeared on her face. He loved seeing that smile on her face.

"Thank you."

"Always," he answered.

##########

Castle quietly woke up in the middle of the night. His first reflex was to look for her near him, but she was not there. She probably went back to her room. It was more cautious. As he laid on his back, he realized that someone was there. Sat in the armchair of the lounge, knees to her chest, she was looking in his direction. She hadn't left. The moon was slightly illuminating the room.

- "Kate?" he sat up in his bed. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she answered. It was barely audible and had been uttered between two sobs.

Castle slowly got up and joined her. He squatted and put his hand on her knee.

"What are you doing?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"You want me to get you something to drink? Water,..."

"No, no. Thank you," she answered putting her hand on his.

"What's wrong?" His voice was so calm. There was so much affection in his voice and in his eyes that she could not hold back the sobbing any longer.

"I'm sorry, Castle."

His heart was suddenly pounding. What if she couldn't do it after all? She thought she could. It was too good to be true, she had said it herself.

"About what?" he had a lump in his throat. He didn't want to hear it. "It's okay, take your time," he added, seeing that she would not answer right away.

"I'm trying, I'm trying real hard, Castle, I swear, but I just can't open up. Not yet. I know I've been giving you a hard time, I'm so sorry, I hurt you, I know. What you went through because of me..." she told him.

She couldn't stop talking. She was angry. Angry at herself. She wanted to be happy but there was something she just couldn't control. She kept talking, she couldn't stop. She talked faster and faster. She wanted to be up to it and didn't want to disappoint him. Castle put his other hand on the back of her neck, he needed to calm her down.

"Stop blaming yourself, Kate. Nobody's perfect. I'm not either."

"You sure as hell look perfect. You're... you're so thoughtful, patient, you're not pushing me, you do everything for me to feel better, you give everything and I can't seem to give back even half of it. I feel like... I feel like I don't deserve you. I've been-"

"Kate, you need to calm down," he said more firmly, worried. Her heart was racing, she was losing it. "Kate, look at me, look at me." She looked up at him. "There you go, there you go... Shhh. It's okay."

"It's not okay!" she said sobbing.

"It's alright, Kate," he told her softly.

"Why do you keep saying-"

"Because it is. I'm gonna show you it is," he said in his very calm voice.

He got up and held out his arms for her to grab his hands, which she did, hesitantly. She slowly got up and Castle took a few steps back before walking next to her, holding her hand. They were looking at each other.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

He put his finger on his mouth to make her understand she needed to stop talking.

"Not a word," he paused. "You trust me?"

"Of course."

"Not a word," he repeated.

He needed to calm her down, she needed to relax, to stop thinking about all those things that were troubling her. His little secret place was perfect for that. That's what it was for.

He pushed the sliding wall aside and opened the door. He switched on the lights, only those that were in the water, so that the rest of room stayed in the dark. He slowly walked in. Without ever letting go of her hand, he turned on the speaker and played a playlist of songs and tracks he would to listen to when spending time in that little secret room of his. Only slow-rhythm music that would appease him. He turned back to Kate to face her. Still looking at each other, they would not say a word. He slowly took his pajama bottoms before taking her nightgown off. Very gently. He took her hands in his and took a few steps backward. No word, no question, she just needed to let herself go. He briefly glanced down and turned back his look on Kate. He could see she was confused and wanted to ask so many questions. He kept looking at her intensely as to tell her not to worry_. It was okay. _He walked down the two steps until the water of the jacuzzi came above his ankles, then his knees. Above her ankles, then her knees. He slowly pulled her until the water came above her shoulders. She couldn't help but close her eyes for a second and breathe deeply. Relaxing. It was relaxing.

She had her back against the side, his hands were holding the edge on each side of her head. He rested his forehead against hers, eyes closed. They were gently brushing noses. Music was quietly playing in the background. It was peaceful, restful. They stayed like this for several minutes.

He tilted is head forward, resting his temple against hers. She slowly put her arms around his neck. It was just the two of them. Nothing else mattered, or even existed. He was right, everything was fine.

After a few minutes, he lifted his head up again to look at her. She seemed thankful and much more quieter than earlier. Her arms were still around his neck. She made him come closer to hug him, her face was almost buried in his shoulder. It was so comforting.

"I know you're trying, Kate. I know you're trying really hard," he whispered. "You'll figure it out. We'll figure it out."

They stayed cuddling each other for a few more minutes. She wanted to stay like this forever, just the two of them in their own world. If only they could stay like that forever.

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**Reviews are always appreciated! :)**_


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9**

* * *

Kate and Martha were sat at the table, on the terrace. Through the bay window they could see Castle being chased by Alexis. Kate was not leaving sight of him, she seemed fascinated, filled with wonder.

"How does he do that?" Kate asked out loud.

Surprised by her question, Martha lowered her book and looked at them.

"Practice. They've done that since Alexis knows how to walk!" Martha joked.

Kate laughed trying to picture them years ago. The little redhead chasing her father for God knows what. Their home had to have often looked like a battlefield with these _two_ kids. Actually, it still did some times. But that was not what she meant.

"I... I was talking about the way he behaves," she said, still looking at them running through the first floor of the house.

"How is that?" Martha asked, interested. She was always happy to hear someone talk about her son and to have an external point of view, from someone outside the family.

"Well, it's fascinating how he can switch from behaving like an 8-year-old... to having a deep serious conversation with someone."

She was right. But the serious behavior was not so old. He had always been serious when it was about Alexis, her safety. But everything else seemed to be a joke to him, until he had met Kate and the stories of her mother's murder had surfaced.

"Two things you need to know about Richard. First of all, when it's something, or someone, that matters, that he really cares about... he can be _very_ serious, mature, protective. He would do anything to protect his family, especially Alexis."

"I wouldn't question it even for a moment. Just the way he looks at her says it all."

"I remember when she was maybe four or five, we were spending the afternoon in a playground and Alexis was playing with another little girl. A man approached them, he was maybe 40-year old. He started talking to them, he offered some candy. Richard ran to them, he almost punched the guy... before realizing he was the other girl's father."

"I remember him telling me about the time he lost sight of Alexis for a few seconds, and when he turned back to her, she wasn't there anymore. In a mall. He seemed shaken up, even after all those years..."

"I don't know what he would do if anything happened to her..." Martha paused, pensive. "She's not the only person he'd do anything for..." she added turning her look on Kate, who lowered her eyes and remained silent. She knew Martha was talking about her. He had walked through her burning apartment and had tackled her as she got shot by a sniper..."The second thing to know about him is that humor is a weapon. Against fear in scary situations, against pain, when he gets emotionally hurt. He will make fun of a serious event because it's easier. It's easier for him to laugh of something that hurts than to face it and deal with it. He's always done that, even as a child."

"I witnessed that a few times," she said. "Speaking of childhood... I know he's never met his father, that he doesn't who he is... And yet, he looks like the best father in the world," she said smiling.

"Speaking of the devil..." Martha said as Castle came out of nowhere, running. He raced through the terrace as if his life was depending on it. "Careful!" Martha exclaimed.

He quickly looked at her and when he looked in front of him again, it was too late. There was no ground beneath his feet anymore, only water. He crashed into the swimming-pool, with his clothes on.

"I warned you..." Martha sighed, shaking her head. Kate was laughing out loud.

He shook his head and brushed his hair backward. Alexis arrived just a few seconds later. She didn't even think twice about it and simply jumped on him in the water. They fought for a few minutes. The clothes didn't help, it became harder to move.

"Want to drown me or what?!" Castle exclaimed catching his breath. "Kate, you don't want to save me? You owe me one!"

"No, go on. Looks like you're handling the situation pretty well," she said.

"Right, bu-" he said as Alexis came back to him and leant upon his shoulder. He disappeared beneath the surface.

"Maybe not..." Kate grimaced.

He tried all he can, but Alexis had grown some muscles and she was taking the upper hand. What a humiliation!

"Okay, okay... I give up! White flag, redheaded monster!" he said catching his breath for the nth time.

"You're getting old, dad?" she teased.

"A little more every day!" he paused. "Kate, want to join us?"

"Have you seen my shirt, Castle?"

She was wearing a slinky white top that would quickly become transparent if wet... That was probably what he wanted.

"Oh.. I hadn't noticed," he said feigning innocence. "Well, you can always take it off," he added with a mischievous smile on his face, leaning on the side of the pool.

"How about that, Martha?" Kate asked turning to her. "Was that humor used as a weapon against stress or fear?"

"No, I'm afraid that's my boy's natural charm," she answered with irony.

##########

When would that stop? She was scared. Kate had seen horrible things in her life but that was too much. A simple noise made her startled. And those noises were not pleasant at all. She had her hand on her face and was looking through her fingers.

"Want to snuggle up against me too, Kate?" Castle asked looking at her.

Alexis was already snuggled up against him, her head buried in his shoulder. He had his arm around her. Kate let slip of a groan of disgust. Because of the movie, not the question. Actually, she would love to be near him, surrounded by his protective embrace, her head buried in his masculine shoulder.

The sacred friday night. Pizza and ice creams before a horror movie. A _horrifying_ horror movie.

"Don't tell me he's... Yeah, he's going for the head! That's disgusting!" she exclaimed as she looked away from the television. "That's just horrible!"

"That's a _horror_ movie, Kate, I think that's what they aim for," he teased. "Hey, rule #3.1, you _have to_ watch the screen. I forgot to tell you that."

"You've just made that one up, haven't you?"

"Okay, maybe..."

"Ew..." Kate couldn't look at it any longer. "Okay, who wants ice cream? I'm gonna get some."

"I do!" they all exclaimed at the same time. Of course they did. Actually, even if they didn't want it, that was the rule. Ice cream for everybody!

"Kate, darling, let me help you," Martha offered.

"No, Martha, please, enjoy the masterpiece that is this movie. I can handle it," she said in a laugh.

"We can pause it if you want," he teased as she walked away.

"No, no, please, don't bother for me," she answered. She could still hear the sound from the kitchen. That was more than enough. The surround sound speakers were only emphasizing it.

"You're missing the best part!" he exclaimed.

"Obviously, he means the most gore!" Alexis added.

On her way back to the living-room Kate stopped, holding the tray with the four bowls full of ice cream. They were all into it so much. Alexis and Castle were cuddled up together on the couch. Protective. He could be so protective. Martha had a pillow in her hands, ready to cover her face with it. It was hilarious to see her reactions.

Castle noticed that Kate was gazing at them. He knew what she was thinking. Or did he? They exchanged looks. Yes, they were cute together. But more importantly, it was the family. For the first time, Kate felt like she was part of it, that she belonged there. She smiled at the thought of it and sat down again with them to _enjoy_ the rest of the movie.

"Jeez, I thought it would never end!" Kate exclaimed when the closing credits appeared on the flatscreen television.

"Richard, you know I have nightmares after seeing that movie!" Martha told her son.

"Wait, you guys have already seen it?" Kate asked.

"About five or six times," Alexis answered with a smile looking at her father for confirmation.

Kate was speechless. Who could _want_ to watch that movie five or six times? More importantly, if they had already seen it, why impose it to her?

"Okay, that was not cool of us to show you one of the scariest horror movies for your first sacred friday night," Castle commented. "But who said _the bloodier, the better_?"

"Within limits, Castle. Within limits," Kate moderated.

"That was our rite of passage and you successfully passed it. Congratulations!"

"Good news is," Alexis started, "you've seen the worst there can be. From now on, it should be okay."

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**Reviews are always appreciated! :)**_


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry for not updating earlier. I have a new job and therefore less time to write! :( But I've already written a few more scenes that I have to improve.**

**Thank you for the nice reviews and the feedback! :)**

**CHAPTER 10**

* * *

Kate did not want to sleep on her own. Not after seeing that movie. She was sat up in his bed, her back against the headboard. Her hand was running through his hair.

A hand between her legs, Castle was covering her thigh with soft kisses, then his tongue gently licked her inner thigh.

"Seriously, I love the way you taste. I could eat you alive," he whispered.

"Yeah, like that hideous freak," she grimaced, shivering as she thought about that stupid movie again. He laid down on his back across the bed and rested his head on her thighs.

"No, I would do it more slowly, enjoying every bit of flesh," he answered.

"Disgusting, Castle."

They stayed quiet for a moment. He had his eyes closed and a smile on his face. He seemed peaceful. She gently caressed his cheek with the back of her hand. They didn't need more. She was particularly fond of those peaceful moments they shared.

"I've thought about something," she said. He craned his head to look up at her. "I think we should let them know," she ventured. She couldn't say that she had felt she belonged to the family. What if they didn't think that way about her? "About us," she added. Castle stayed silent, smiling at her. "What do you say?" she asked, her heart was pounding. What if _he_ didn't want to, not yet?

"I would love to," he said very softly. Damn, she loved his voice. Even more when he spoke in that low voice of his. "How do you want to proceed?" She looked at him questioningly. Proceed? How about just _telling_ them? He started elaborating some plans. "We could hide a message in a room that would lead to another until they... oh, no! Better idea! We could try to m-"

Kate cut him off by putting her index on his mouth. He started licking it gently before putting the rest of her finger in his mouth, sensually swirling his tongue around it. He kept looking at her, as she gently slipped it out. He twisted round, leant on his elbow and caressed her thigh with his other hand.

"Okay, we'll do it the normal way then."

"Normal is good sometimes, Rick."

He was drawing circles around her bellybutton with his fingers. Then he stick his finger inside it, while kissing her lower-abdomen. She closed her eyes, feeling his warm breath on her skin. She opened her eyes when she felt his mouth leaving her skin. He was looking at her. They exchanged warm smiles. How she loved those peaceful moments. She slowly lied down next to him.

"Hi, that's a nice view I have here. Beautiful eyes, wonderful smile. The view I had a few minutes ago wasn't bad either though," he joked.

She was looking at him, smiling. She couldn't help it. She had secretly tried to picture themselves together in the past. Reality was definitely better than what she expected. The softness of his skin, his voice and his moves. The manhood, yet sensitivity he could show. The man that she had known to be so excessive in everything he did, could be so considerate.

She caressed his cheek and then put her index on his mouth again. He took it back and she came closer, replacing her finger with her tongue.

##########

The right time. He wanted to find the right time. Castle and Kate had exchanged looks throughout lunch. He wiped his mouth with a napkin and cleared his voice. Time had come.

"There's, hm... there's something I'd like you to know," he said before looking at Martha, who was sitting in front of him, at Alexis, on his left, and at Kate. No distress call or gesture from Kate's part. That meant he had the go-ahead. He was experiencing mixed feelings. He realized that saying it would make it _true_. No one knew so far. He was hoping that their relationship would be no different once people around them knew. But he felt proud too. Proud to announce that this sublime woman had chosen him. He threw a last quick glance to Kate. Strangely, he had a lump in his throat, his heart was beating faster than usual. He gathered his courage and announced it, in a simple way, as they had agreed.

"We are proud to announce-" he started.

"_We_?" Martha cut him off.

"Yes, _we_. If you'd let me finish you'd understand who I'm talking about_,_" he paused. "Because as a matter of fact, there is now a _we,_" he said looking at Kate, smiling. How strange to say this.

Martha and Alexis looked at each other, eyes wide open. Had they finally-

"You...?" Martha started pointing at both Kate and Castle.

"Let's say that our relationship has evolved... to the point where we are now more than just friends, or colleagues, or partners... Well, no need to draw a picture, I think you got it," he said.

Kate was silent, eyeing towards Martha and Alexis. She was waiting for their reaction, which was quiet, first.

Was he playing a trick on them? Given Kate's silence and how they shyly squeezed hands as they looked at each other, it was true. Hard to believe it had finally happened.

"It's about time!" Martha suddenly exclaimed, all excited. "I've always hoped you two would get together. Better later than ever," she said before getting up to congratulate them.

"That's why!" Alexis exclaimed breaking her silence, as if she had a lightbulb moment.

"Why what?" Castle asked.

"On the day of my graduation, you were happy but I could see there was something wrong, you were different. Well... You told me there had been that talk with Kate so I figured that was why. And the next day, everything seemed perfect and strangely enough Kate was there. That's when you two... got together."

"She's got an incredible power of deduction, hasn't she?" he asked turning to Kate, who nodded. "Yes, you're right, Alexis," he told her.

"So.. I was right!" Martha blurted out before looking at Kate. "You do share a room with Richard."

"Mother!" Castle said more firmly, eyeing to Alexis. "We've got a young lady at our table."

"Richard, you seriously think she hasn't put the pieces together?"

"Still... please," he insisted. "Anyway. Knowing this, I'd appreciate it if you didn't treat us any differently," he continued.

"Well, I'm happy for you two kids. Welcome to the family Kate. I wish you two every happiness," Martha told them as she sat down again and raised her empty glass. "Richard, I believe my glass needs some wine to clink glasses."

##########

Castle knocked on her door. He wanted to make sure she was fine. She hadn't talked much after the announcement.

"Come in!"

"Hey," he said standing in the doorway. "Can I come in?"

"Sure," she answered. Alexis was at her desk checking her emails. Castle approached slowly as she turned back to the screen.

"Do you have a minute?" he asked gently.

"If it's about Kate, it's okay."

Castle sat down on the edge of her bed.

"I'd just like to know your thoughts on this. You haven't said much."

She turned off her computer and turned the chair to face him.

"I'm okay with it. Especially now that she's not working for the NYPD anymore."

The comment took Castle off guard. So, she wouldn't be happy about their relationship if she was still a cop?

"What do you mean by that?" But she stayed silent. "Alexis?" he insisted.

"The shooting, the bank, the bomb, the..." she paused. "How many times was your life at risk when you were with her? How many times have you saved each other's life?" she said, and soon continued because she could see he was about to give the numbers. "I know, you keep score. You make fun of it, but it's not fun, dad. It's not a game."

He felt like he was given a lecture. By his daughter. But Castle also realized that those moments he made fun of had been hard for her. It was fun to follow Kate around, see her talk to criminals, take part in the interrogations. The gunfights were not his favorite moments though. He thought about what his mother had told him a year earlier. _That's the real word out there and you can't charm your way out of a bullet._ His daughter was thinking the same thing, she was feeling the same way.

"Professional killers were after her, dad. Professional killers. What could you do against them? You're not a superhero, you're a writer. I know why you did it. You were already in love with her. But you know what we say: love is blind. You made the right decision that day, when you decided it was over. I'm glad you did because from what you told me about what happened to her... You'd both be dead if you had gone with her."

His daughter's sense of reality and clear-sightedness astounded him. He knew his daughter was smart but she had just demonstrated how mature she was.

"I'm sorry, Alexis, if I ever made you go through difficult times because I was in a delicate situation. I didn't mean to."

"I know you didn't," she paused looking down. "That said. I'm happy for you. I hadn't seen you that happy for a long time. You finally get what you've wanted for so long."

"You're right," he paused. But something was still on his mind. "A question though, about what you said of Kate not working for the NYPD anymore. Does that mean that if, and I say _if_ because we don't know yet, she doesn't know either... does that mean that if she went back to being a cop, you wouldn't be too happy with us being together?"

Alexis stayed silent. That was what she meant. He had already been in danger around her when they were just friends. A second of inattention, because they could not keep their hands off each other, could be fatal. Understanding her silence as a yes, he continued.

"And what if... I'd stop following her at the precinct?"

"That would be better." Something else was still on her mind. "But... the sniper, he could still come after her, no matter when or where," she added.

Castle just got a lightbulb moment. The sniper. He didn't finish the job on the rooftop. He probably thought she would die falling from the building. What if he learnt she was still alive? He probably already knew it. Castle had been so distracted by what happened with Kate, with them finally coming together, he had forgotten about _this_, about _him_. Kate was right, it was too good to be true.

Castle opened his mouth to say something but refrained himself. He thought about it for a moment.

"I've got a phone call to make," he just said, preoccupied. "Come here," he told her as he stood up to hug her. "Love you, Pumpkin. Thank you for your honesty."

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**Reviews are always appreciated! :)**_


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER 11**

* * *

Castle was pacing up and down the length of his office, waiting for him to pick up. He needed to be in touch with him as soon as possible. A week had almost went by, that was already too long.

"Ryan."

"Hey, Ryan, it's Castle. How are you?" he said hurriedly.

"Good. You? You sound funny."

"Listen... do you have any lead or news about the shooter?" he asked tentatively.

"What's going on?" Ryan asked, worried. Had something come up without him knowing?

"Nothing, just... do you have something?"

"No, not yet. He vanished after he fled from the rooftop. Since then we've had new cases to solve and Gates didn't leave us a lot of time to look for him."

Castle closed his eyes, pondering whether or not he should ask for help. He didn't have a choice. He couldn't do this on his own.

"Could you... trace a call without a phone number? If someone calls me with a withheld number, you can find who it is or where he called from, right?"

"Yeah, you need to give me the exact times he called you. I may try to talk the phone provider into giving us some details. Why? The shooter called you?"

"No, no! I... I need to contact someone but I don't know how to reach him."

"It has to do with Beckett?"

"Ryan... please? I... Could you do that for me? Without saying anything to Kate?"

"You know what you're doing, right?"

Was he in control of the situation? No. But at least he wanted to try to reverse the situation. He gave him the time and date he needed.

"It will take a a few days."

"Alright. The sooner, the better."

##########

Castle was buried under the duvet, lying on his belly. Only the upper part of his face was visible: his eyes and above. He blinked a few times as he slowly woke up. He didn't know what time it was, but it didn't matter. Kate was looking at him, smiling. He mumbled something but she couldn't figure out what. She lowered the duvet a bit so that she could see his mouth.

"You're awake?" he repeated with an husky voice.

"No, I sleep with my eyes open and I speak while sleeping. You didn't know?" she answered.

"Nice," he said to congratulate her on her sense of humor. He shook his head a bit to resurface from beneath the duvet. He came closer to kiss her a few times. He just couldn't help it. It had become a need. "What were you doing?"

"I was watching you. You're so quiet when you sleep, that's a change."

"Want me to stay a day without speaking? I can do it."

She chuckled. Right, Castle staying a day without saying a word. As if that could happen.

"I was just..." she started.

"You were just..." He was curious now. What did she have in mind? She remembered what he told her, a few days earlier: he was interested in her, in what she had to say. She was not bothering him. On the contrary.

"I was just looking at you, thinking about the first time we met and I realized how much you've changed. In a good way," she added.

"Sounds interesting. Tell me more," he told her before kissing her again.

"You looked like the perfect example of a playboy interested in money and girls. You were more extravagant, you're still a bit crazy but I like that. You were really behaving like a child at the time. A child that had everything he wanted. And everything was a joke to you. Now you're more mature. You still have a great sense of humor, the ability to laugh about a lot of things and to make fun of yourself. But you grew up. Not too much, just enough", she said smiling.

"You're right," he said looking at her with tenderness. He changed being near her all those years. In a good way. "Can I ask you something? It's a serious question. I'm not teasing you." She stayed silent as if she was just waiting for him to go on. "When our first case was over, I asked you out. Why did you say no?" Indeed, he sounded serious, he was really interested in knowing why she had not accepted. Not only had it never happened, he wanted to know what she was thinking at the time.

"I wanted to protect myself. I didn't fully trust you. You were an attractive best-seller author, who signed women's chests, who liked to party... I would have been just another conquest of yours. We would have spent the night together and then I'd have never heard from you again. No, thanks."

"And you were not attracted to me? Not a little bit? You haven't denied it yet..."

"You have a natural charm, Rick. You're funny, you're handsome..."

"Ruggedly handsome, you mean!"

"Right..."

His phone rang. He sighed. What time was it? He twisted round to take the phone on the night stand. A second sigh. Gina. Editor. Work. He grumbled when he saw what time it was. 8:27 am. He declined the call and laid down on his back.

"You don't take it?" The phone rang again. He declined the call, again. "Could be urgent."

"8:27. No get up before 8:30, no nothing," he said turning to face her. "Except cuddling in bed." A hand on her hip, he started kissing her in the neck. The phone rang again. "Oh for Christ's sake!" he exclaimed. He turned around and finally picked up. "What?!"

"Rick?"

"Who the hell do you think is gonna pick up when you call my number?!" he said rather sharply.

"Grumpy, I woke you up?"

"No, and I was in a very good mood before you called me every ten seconds at 8:30 on a Sunday! What do you want?"

"Okay..." Gina said trying to calm him down. "There's a charity benefit and auction dinner on Wednesday. Do you think you could make it? I'd be good in order for you to stay at the forefront so that your sells don't decrea-"

"Not available. And seriously, that's why you're calling me on a Sunday morning?!"

"You're sure you can't-"

"Not available," he insisted and hung up. Another sigh. "Great, now I'm grumpy, in a bad mood for the day!"

"Want some help to relax and calm down?" Kate asked. He looked at her. She had that smile on her face that he loved so much. He knew what she was thinking.

"I'd love that. Help me, please, help me," he said burying his face on her chest. He leant over her. Her hands were going down his bare back and she slipped her fingers beneath his pajama bottoms. That was a good start. The phone rang again. "Oh, come on!" But when he looked at the phone, his irritation soon vanished. He quickly turned it off so that Kate would not see who was calling. He hesitated a moment.

"You're okay?"

"I... I've got to take this one, sorry."

"More important than your editor?"

"Definitely. I have priorities and work has never really been mine," he paused. "I need the computer so I'm gonna call back from the office, okay? It'll take a few minutes."

"8:29..." she said. "One more minute before you're allowed to get out of this bed..."

He chuckled. Right. She had learnt how to take advantage of those rules. He gently kissed her.

"8:30. I'll be right back. Get ready, remember that when I'm back, you're supposed to make an appeased man out of me."

"I've got some ideas on how to do this," she said smiling.

# # # # #

Castle needed to call Mr Smith. He had to tell him Kate was not a cop anymore and that she was no longer digging into her mother's case. He needed to get the message across.

He let the phone ring, five, six times... _Come on, pick up! _Ryan had contacted the phone provider, asked them to give him the information on their customer. It was a matter of life and death, he had said. That was not a lie.

"Who's this?" a voice answered.

"Castle."

"I told you not to contact me. How did you-"

"Is there a way I can contact the sniper?" he said hurriedly. The man on the other line didn't answer right away. When he did, the voice was calm, almost tired.

"He paid me a visit."

"What? When?" Castle froze.

"After he tried to kill Beckett on that rooftop. He wanted me to give him the documents Captain Montgomery had sent me."

"You did?"

"No, Mr Castle, I didn't."

"If he didn't get the documents, what's he doing now?"

"He's already after her. He's trying to find her. That's why I think it would be wise if you didn't contact me in the next-"

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?!"

"I couldn't-"

"Is it possible to meet with the sniper?" he cut him off. The clock was ticking. If he knew Kate was there, not only were they both in danger, Castle's family was too.

"He didn't leave a card. And you're part of the deal, Mr Castle. He'll probably kill you if he sees you. You know too much. But before that he'll make you say where Beckett is so that he can, I quote, _put her in the ground once and for all_."

"He needs to know that she's not after them anymore. You made a deal with his employer that means you can contact him."

"I can-"

- "You can, and you will! You're gonna contact him and tell him that Katherine Beckett is no longer part of the NYPD, she's no longer after them and after the shooter. She threw away every card, photo and document she ever had on them. This needs to stop."

"What if they want a proof of that?"

"Tell them they can meet me and I'll explain it to them, face to face."

"You're sure about this?"

"Oh yeah, I'm sure about this. I've been doing my part of the job, do yours," he answered before he hung up.

# # # # #

His troubles vanished in a second when he walked back into he bedroom and saw her lying on the bed, wearing nothing but the sexy nightgown he had bought her a few days earlier. She was lying there, on her side, resting on her elbow.

"I told you, this is pure perfection."

"Someone told me you needed to relax... Shall we?"

He came closer, still subjugated by her beauty.

"May I?" he asked. He wanted to touch it, to touch her. His brain was already flooded with ideas...

"Please do."

He laid down next to her, taking the same pose. He caressed it. It was so soft, made of silk. He ran his hands up and down her side then slipped his fingers beneath it as he was leaning over her, his tongue in her mouth, playing with hers. She made him roll on his back. Her legs on each side of him, he was like taken hostage. He couldn't get out of her grip, not that he wanted to. She could do whatever she wanted with him, he didn't mind. He still had his hands under that nightgown. He wanted to take it off but she was beautiful in it. Shining with beauty. She could feel him under her, his muscles hardening and relaxing. She had nothing on but her nightgown. She could feel him under her, harder. She gently guided him into her and gasped. She started riding him, slowly first. His hands on her tights, on that soft silk, on that soft skin. He was looking at her. She still has that wicked smile on her face. She sped up the pace. He didn't even realize he was holding his breath. He made her come closer, curling his hand around her scruff, stuck his tongue in her mouth, then let it go. She slowed down, circling, then paced up again.

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**Reviews are always appreciated! :)**_


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12**

* * *

It was not 8:30 yet so Kate was killing time reading a book she had found in his office. They were now officially sharing his room, their room. There was no need for staying in the guest room anymore. She was more than a guest and everyone in that house knew it. Castle was lying next to her. He ran his finger up and down her scar, the one on her left side.

"Does it still hurt?" he asked softly.

She gazed away from the book. He was awake. He craned his head to look up at her, his finger still on her scar.

"Barely. Just some rare times when I make certain movements."

"Does it hurt when we m-"

"No, Rick. It doesn't. I would have said something." He was so gentle when they made love that it had not hurt. Maybe the pleasure was taking the pain away too when it was rougher. He kept looking at the scar, caressing it with his finger. "Do you still think about that day?" she asked.

"Of course I do."

She gently put her book down on the night stand and laid down next to him, before snuggling in his arm, her head resting on his shoulder. He was holding her hand, playing with her fingers.

"You know... no one really told me what happened in the ambulance," she said, implying she wanted to know.

"Why would you want to know that?" he asked looking at her, confused. "Wasn't it you that told me that some things are best being not remembered? Well, how could you even remember given..." he added, looking away.

"Given what?"

"I can't, Kate, it's..." He shook his head. That scene had been playing in his mind over and over again. He had woken up so many times in the middle of the night the months that followed the shooting. She understood that it was hard for him. I _watched you die in that ambulance_, he had told her. But she wanted to know. What had happened to her? What had she gone through, exactly? He finally gave up seeing the look on her face. She was almost begging. "Okay... What's the last thing you remember?"

"You... telling me you loved me."

Right. She remembered that part. And he remembered the way he had learned about it, how betrayed and humiliated he had felt.

Laid on his back, staring at the ceiling, he took a deep breath and started describing the scene to her. He started slowly, one sentence after an other. Taking the time. Or maybe he just had a hard time saying it.

"You lost consciousness. I talked to you, I tried to wake you up but... I was frozen to the spot. Lanie came running and I gave her some space, I was holding your hand as she started performing CPR on you. She told me to keep pressure on the wound. When the ambulance arrived you had already lost a lot of blood... Lanie and I got on the ambulance with you. She kept performing CPR while the EMT was putting all those things in your arm and plugged them to the monitor to check your vitals. I was holding your hand." Matching words with action he took her hand in his the way he had in the ambulance. "What else could I do? I kept begging, asking you to hold on, to stay alive. Then, a few minutes later, we heard severals beeps. The monitor was going crazy. The EMT yelled to the driver _BP is dropping, she's crashing!_ I was terrified. I didn't even know what that meant anymore." As she was listening to him, she could hear the pain in his voice. He was reliving it. He was speaking faster, breathing harder, as though he was in that ambulance all over again. "He stopped the ambulance on the side of the road. I yelled at him. _Why the hell do you stop!_ I just wanted to get to the hospital as soon as possible but he told me they couldn't do that while driving. They used the defibrillator," he paused a little longer. He could feel tears coming up but held them and continued. "_Charging... Clear..._" he shook his head. "_Charging... Clear..._ Five, six times! _Charging... Clear... Nothing_. I begged him to do it again, to keep trying. _Charging... Clear..._ Nothing! I yelled _Again!_" he said in a trembling voice. "He looked at me, he looked at Lanie. She nodded, so he did it again. _Charging... Clear..._" he swallowed and sighed as if he was relieved. "We heard a small beep," he said. The grip of his hand on her back was stronger. As if he was clinging on to her. He had not wanted to let her go. He still didn't want to let her go. "... followed by another beep... and another. You were alive." He kissed her softly on her forehead. "You were stabilized. At least for a while. I was... He set off again. When we got to the hospital, Lanie was still doing CPR, the whole time she'd been... I let your hand go when they took you out of the ambulance. I ran down the corridor after them, after you, until the doctors at the ER told Lanie to let them do their job. She couldn't go any further. We couldn't go any further. There was nothing more we could do for you. We could only wait," he paused. "That was a long wait."

They both stayed silent a moment. Some people would completely forget what happened in times like these, others would have messy memories. But Castle remembered every details. He remembered every details of the time he thought he had lost her.

"Thank you," she said gently. She could feel the fear he had experienced. He had seen her die in that ambulance. Now she knew the whole story, there was no missing part anymore. "And thank you for going through this with me."

"That's what partners are for."

"I heard you were more than a partner."

"True," he said with a shy smile. He had gotten it straight a few days earlier.

"I'm fine," she told him to reassure him, seeing he was still thinking about it.. She was fine. She was alive and well.

"Yeah... you're fine."

Now he was hoping she would be for a long time, as he was waiting for a confirmation from Mr Smith. Would they always have to look over their shoulder? He hoped not.

"So... you really would have taken a bullet for me, huh?"

"Yeah," he said, pensive. "Alexis wasn't too happy about that. Not that she doesn't like you, but she was terrified. She thought I had been hurt, she thought I had been careless. I understand. You know... when I saw them at the hospital, I realized that I had not..." he stopped, ashamed of what he was about to say. "I had not paid attention to anything else, no one else... I didn't lose sight of you. I didn't even... I didn't even make sure that my own daughter and mother were fine."

She could hear his quivering voice, his hand was covering his mouth as to make himself swallow back those words.

"You knew they were fine," she said gently.

"What?"

"Subconsciously. You knew they were fine. There was one gunshot, I was lying on the ground bleeding. And you knew I was the target. Subconsciously you knew no else had been hurt."

"Still, I should have checked."

"Hey, don't do this. Don't blame yourself. It's over."

"Yeah... it's over." It was _almost_ over.

"Come on, where is that smile of yours? Let's not start the day with too many dark thoughts and painful memories. Let's cheer up a bit. You're usually very good at cheering people up."

He made her come closer so that she snuggled up against him. All he wanted was to lay here with her in his arms. She was fine. She was alive.

##########

Later that day, Kate was browsing through job offers on the Internet. She was lying on the couch of the living-room, her legs resting on Castle's laps.

"Okay so let's browse through categories then: medical, nuh don't have the education; administrative... too much paperwork; sales, marketing, logistics, building construction..." She looked up when she heard Castle chuckle.

"Wearing a safety helmet, a hammer in one hand, a-"

"Maintenance, legal..." she cut him off, briefly looking up at him again as she carried on reading the list.

"Legal! Justice. That's what you aimed for at college. Why wouldn't you take back the-"

"Right. So that I could see the criminals we've put behind bars walking out free... no thanks," she sighed. "There are so many possibilities..." she said, confused. "I need to find something in the meantime, doesn't really matter what. I still haven't made my mind about what I'm gonna do."

"You'll figure out, it's only been a week. Give yourself some time."

"I have bills to pay, Rick, and a rent."

"That's not a problem, I can help you-"

"No," she said almost too dryly. "Thank you, that's very sweet but..." she said more gently, "my bills, my money."

"You sound like my mother," he exclaimed with a chortle. "Except that she doesn't pay a rent," he said a little louder for Martha to hear. She was in the kitchen quietly preparing dinner. Until then all she had heard was mumbling. She had not made out what they were talking about but they looked cute together. Kate looked at Castle questioningly. How was she supposed to take this comment? She sounded like his mother? "You know the bank, when we were held hostage?" he explained himself. "Same thing: she needed money for her theater school. She didn't want mine so she had to lend money from the bank, to prove she could do this on her own. Well, you know how the story ended. Look at the situation that put us in!"

"Rick..."

"I know," he said on a more serious tone. "You want your space, your independence. I get that," he paused. "But if you ever need help, for anything..."

"I know: you're here," she said with a smile, squeezing his hand.

"That's right."

They looked at each other for a few seconds. They were here for each other. They had been for years now. For better or for worse.

"Okay, I'll give it some time. At least the end of the day," she said getting up from the couch. "I gotta go."

"Where?!" he asked taken by surprise.

"Alexis told me to meet up with her."

"Really? Where?" he asked but Kate kept quiet. She loved driving him crazy. "Okay, you don't want to tell me. Fine. You girls..."

"What about us, _girls_? We've got our secrets but you love us anyway."

"Oh yeah!" he was still holding her hands, as she was standing up in front of him. "I don't want you to go," he said feigning whining.

"I'll be back."

"Oh! Say it again but with a deep Terminator-like voice," he said all excited which led to a lightbulb moment. "Actress! You could act! You could play Nikki Heat if they make-" She gently kissed him goodbye. "That means _shut up, you talk nonsense._ Got it," he said as she let his hands go and walked away with a smile on her face."Have fun! Rule #1!" he exclaimed as she walked out of the house.

He had that beatic smile on his face, the one some have when they are blissfully happy. That was the case. He noticed that Martha was looking at him from the kitchen, smiling as well.

"What?" he asked as he got up to join her, with a springy walk. "Guilty as charged. Yeah, I'm happy and totally crazy in love," he told Martha as he rested on his elbow, his face in the palm of his hand. He had that dreamy look.

"How long will the honeymoon phase last?" she asked smiling, thinking about well they got along.

"As long as possible," he said going around the kitchen counter to help her with the vegetables. "If there's one thing I've learned from being around her for four years it's to enjoy every minute. Who knows what can happen next."

"That's wise, son."

"Next thing you know, you get stuck in a giant freezer, kidnapped by the Men In Black, locked in a trunk or handcuffed about to get eaten alive by a tiger..."

"W. M. Lewis said _The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it_."

Castle thought about it for a second and nodded in agreement.

"He's right. But you taught me better. You taught me to enjoy life, every moment of it and I'm grateful for that."

"And sometimes you enjoy it a little too much, Richard."

"I've always been a little excessive."

"Well, you look good together. As a matter of fact, not much as changed between you two, except for the physical part," she winked at him. "Alexis is not there, I can say it," she added seeing his reproving look.

"I'm not sure I want to talk about this with you..." he said a little awkwardly.

"I know. Rest assured, I don't either. Well, you already sounded like a married couple before.. Every person that met you two thought you were _together_ anyway. At least, from now on, they will be right!"

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**Reviews are always appreciated! :)**_


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER 13**

* * *

Castle was lying on his belly, on the mattress next to the swimming-pool. The weather was perfect. No too hot, but with a clear blue sky. The three girls were in the swimming-pool, while Castle was working. How unfair! His fingers were typing so many letters, so many sentences, on the keyboard of his laptop. Ideas. He had new ideas for the next novel, plenty of them.

Kate came from behind and laid down next to him. Castle was so much into the story that he didn't even pay attention to her. She took a quick glance at his laptop to read a few lines before coming closer.

"I want you. I want to make love to you," she whispered in his ear. Castle's brain went black. His fingers stopped moving. His eyes went wide. No more ideas. What was he working on again? "Does rule #2 apply for that too?" she asked.

"Hm... yeah," he said taken by surprise before clearing his voice, his eyes still locked on his screen. "It should... I think it does," he said. He tore his gaze away from his laptop and saw her mischievous smile. His lips brushed against her, his fingers slowly moved from his keyboard to her cheek. "It'd be foolish if it didn't," he told her, his forehead resting on hers.

"You've got plenty of rooms to do that, kids. Three, at least!" Martha told them as she walked past them to get her towel.

Kate bit her lip, a bit embarrassed and especially trying to refrain herself from laughing.

"Yeah, sorry," Castle answered rolling his eyes. "Want to go up?" he whispered to Kate. "I can say I need to charge up my laptop and that I need to check something in a book. You can join me in a few minutes, using a shower as an excuse," he added, looking around, before kissing her again. He liked the way she tasted. But Kate did not answer and laid on her back instead, putting her sunglasses on. "I guess not..." he said, disappointed.

Castle couldn't help but look at her body. Some drops of water were resting on her tanned skin, like dewdrops on a flower. He closed his laptop and put it on the ground before lying on his back near her. Kate rolled on her side and put her face on his bare shoulder.

"You know I love when you do that, but I wouldn't want to have a white spot of the shape of your head on my shoulder." She tilted her head up to look at him. Was he serious?

"Fine," she said as she turned around to turn her back to him.

"Oh, just kidding, you can put it back," he told her while putting his leg and arm around her, his head buried in her hair. A smile appeared on her face. She knew how to tease him, how to make him want her.

"Dad..." a voice called from behind.

He craned his head and saw Alexis in the swimming-pool, shaking her head and rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, gross, sorry," he told Alexis, as he laid on his back again. He looked at Kate. "Have you spread some sunscreen creme yet? I'm very good at-"

"You think I'm lying here just waiting to get sunburned, Rick?"

"Even in the back, you're sure?" he tried, wiggling his fingers, already ready to run them on her naked skin. "Okay..." he simply said after seeing the look on her face. They intertwined their fingers and stayed side by side for a while. "We could just tell them: sorry, something to do, will be back later?" But she kept silent, smiling. "You know, you're the one who suggested it," he said sulking.

"Rule #4: take the time. There's plenty of time during the day... and the night," she replied, eyes closed.

"Rule #2 tends to override everything else." Her hand landed on his face. "Okay, okay..." he chuckled, taking her hand in his.

##########

Alexis decided she would spend the afternoon looking for the latest information about the summer program and was listing everything she would need when she left for college. She wanted to be ready. She wanted everything to be in order. Martha had phone calls to make about her theater class. Her vacations were almost over too.

Castle and Kate decided they would leave them at their occupations and left home to spend their afternoon in Fort Pond Bay. They were having a nice walk while some courageous sportsmen were passing by them.

"They remind me I should get back to running again. I haven't run for over a week..."

"You took your training clothes? In that small luggage of yours?"

"Sure. But I was so... _busy_ lately..." she said smiling. "You should do some sport too, that'd be good for you."

"What are you implying?" he said looking at her.

"Nothing!" she quickly replied, realizing how it sounded. "Just that it's well known that sport is good for your health."

"Sport... I hate doing sport," he grumbled. "Except one. Generally practiced in a room, it can sometimes be practiced... well, pretty much everywhere. Needs to be two, some like when they are more... awkward..." Kate was shaking her head, smiling. "What? That's a sport! Sport is defined as a _physical_ activity. If that's not physical activity, then I don't know what is!" he exclaimed before smiling tenderly at her. She smiled back. "Running, yoga, ice skating... what else?"

"Ice skating?!" she asked.

"Yeah," he said remembering the picture he had seen at her apartment over a year ago. "I'm still trying to picture you on ice skates though. I still haven't seen you in action."

"Oh please... I told you, it was not very pleasant to see!"

"I'm sure you're great at it!"

"No, I was never good at it and since I haven't set a foot on an ice skating rink in a while, it can't be better today!"

"Really? When was the last time you ice skated?"

"Fourteen years ago," she paused. Castle understood right away, his smile slowly faded away. "That photo of me you saw? That was the last time. I never went back after... after my mother died. It reminded me of her too much..."

"I'm sorry, I... didn't know."

"Of course you didn't," she said squeezing his hand. "She loved ice skating. She looked so elegant, she was flawless on ice skates," she said shaking her head with amazement. "It's definitely not hereditary because I was terrible at it! I really tried but..." she paused. "She looked like she was flying, like her feet weren't even touching the ice... You should have seen her, Rick!" He was staring at her. Kate looked so happy to talk about her mother. There was so much excitement and admiration in her voice, like she had not talked about her mother with anyone for a long time. She looked happy to be able to share memories of her, though a shadow of sadness was still going through her face, betraying her pain of not having her around anymore. "What?" she asked softly when she noticed his staring.

"Do you mind telling me more about her?" he asked. "You don't have to, if you don't feel like it," he went on, seeing she was hesitant.

"Why?" she asked, surprised.

"I'd like to know her. You know my mother, I'd like to know yours," he told her in a serious tone.

"What would you like to know?"

"Anything you're willing to tell me about her. I know the ID facts, the key dates and key events of her life, but on a more personal level..."

They looked at each other for a moment.

"She loved ice skating, she hated baseball. I don't know how my parents got along," Kate chuckled. "She didn't come with us at the games. It was just my father and I. She always said _Too long, too boring_. So she spent that time working and baking. Sometimes she could do both at the same time. When we would come home, a cake was always there waiting for us on the table. We would eat it together, the three of us, as we would describe the game to her, miming the pitches, taking ourselves for sport commentators... She hated baseball but she loved listening to us talking about the game," she paused. "I loved her voice when she called me _Katie_. She loved reading. She would read stories to me, even when she came home late at night after a long day of work. I always asked for another chapter. She would tell me _Katie, you need to sleep or you'll be tired for school tomorrow_. I told her I wouldn't, she would read another chapter. When I'd show up half-asleep the next morning, she would tell me-"

"_I told you so,_" he ended her sentence. Kate smiled. That was her mother's favorite words.

"Yeah..." she nodded, she could feel the tears coming up. "She joked a lot. She was one of the most serious people I've ever known when it came to working but... I loved her laugh," she paused again as she felt the tears in her eyes. "She would have liked you a lot," she added before looking at him. He stayed speechless for a moment, closing his mouth before he could say anything.

"I would have loved to meet her. Sounds like she was special."

Kate simply nodded. Seeing her tears, Castle gently took her in his arms.

"I'm sorry, Kate. I should haven't asked-"

"No, no. I'm glad you did. It's nice to talk about her life... instead of always talking about her death. I just miss her so much sometimes..." she said with a sigh.

Castle stayed silent, rocking her slowly, his hand going up and down her back.

"I can only imagine," he whispered. He had never lost a close relative and he was trying not to think about the day he would lose his mother. After a moment, she slowly released herself from his embrace and breathed deeply. There was gratitude in her eyes. "_Katie_... I like the sound of it."

"My father still calls me that, so please... try not to. That'd be weird."

"Too bad. Katie... _Katie and kitten_. Katie and her kitten. That would have been cute," he said smiling, hoping it would cheer her up a bit. It worked. Kate chuckled and the smile remained on her face. She gently tapped him with her elbow as they resumed walking.

##########

The table had been placed in the living-room. The four of them were ready. It was poker night at the Hamptons. Martha was in charge of dealing the cards.

"Still no strip-poker? The best version of this game! Well, I've seen you both naked already... when they were babies," she added looking at Kate. "I'll leave you the sight of Kate without clothes on..." she told Castle with a wink.

"Mother!" he exclaimed, but Kate didn't seem to mind her comment.

"First I'd have to lose, Martha..."

Castle turned to her and started flirting.

"Maybe we could try strip-poker later, just the two of us. Strip-_tease_ isn't bad either though, I'm not that difficult. I'll let you choose."

"Could we... go back to the game?" Alexis interrupted them, a bit embarrassed about where that conversation was headed.

"Are you so impatient to lose?" Castle teased.

"Impatient to beat you!" she retorted.

"Oh... easy now! You know who you're dealing with? You weren't born that I was already playing and winning."

"Good thing I was born, so that you finally get a real adversary."

"Careful young lady. You've got talented players around this table. Ain't that right?" he asked looking at Kate, on his left, and at his mother who was sat in front of him. "Shuffle," he told his daughter, frowning.

"Well.. you know how to shuffle!" Kate exclaimed seeing how the cards were flying in her hands.

"I had a great teacher," she said looking at her father who grinned in return.

"Let's the game begin!" Martha exclaimed rubbing her hands.

Kate and Castle were exchanging defying looks. They had been there already. Just the two of them. Time for showdown. Martha had disposed the last cards on the table.

"I've got an idea," Castle exclaimed.

"Oh, oh..." Martha said, worried. They could prepare for the worse.

"Let's play for something else than money. Or... in addition to money," he said looking at Kate, who stayed silent. "Cover your ears," he told Alexis before turning back to Kate. "What we mentioned before? Starts with _strip_, ends with _tease_? If I win..." he said, not adding anything more. The end was obvious.

"What if I win?" Kate said coming a bit closer.

"You think you have the cards for it?"

"If I win..." she said with a smile, her eyes going up and down his body. He opened his mouth but didn't say anything for a few seconds.

"You're sure you'd like to see this, I'm not sure the sight of me... will be as pleasant as-"

"Afraid of a little challenge, _kitten_?"

He didn't need more to get fired up. She was probably just bluffing, hoping he would fold. At least, that was what he hoped. _Challenge accepted._

"Deal."

"Deal."

"Well, at least we know what you two will be doing later tonight..." Martha said rolling her eyes.

They slowly showed their cards, putting them down on the table at the same time. Kate frowned, a grin appeared on Castle's face. He rested his head on his hand and quickly raised his eyebrows twice.

"Nice try," he said.

She shook her head with a smile and wrinkled her nose. His four-of-a-kind hand beat her flush.

Castle helped the girls put the cards together while Kate got up to get another drink. As she walked behind him, she made her hand slightly touch the top of his back as she slowly bent over.

"It will be a good opportunity to show you what I do with ice cubes..." she whispered to him before heading for the kitchen without turning around. Castle's smile disappeared in a second before he bit his upper lip. He could barely breathe. He wanted to leave the table right away.

When she came back, Kate put her glass prominently on the table. To tease him even more. Castle did a doubled take when he noticed it. _Ice cubes_. She slowly took a sip from the hay, her eyes locked on Castle.

"Dad... your turn to shuffle."

"How... How many games do we play?" he asked not leaving sight of the glass.

"You've got something more important to do?" Martha asked eyeing both Castle and Kate.

"It's just... I'm not sure I will be as focused... now..." he said hesitantly, slowly moving his look away from those ice cubes.

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**Reviews are always appreciated! :)**_


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER 14**

* * *

"That smells good!" Castle exclaimed as he walked down the stairs.

Kate had been up earlier and was making breakfast. Her specials : omelets, bacon, pancakes, french toasts... There was enough to eat for a small battalion.

"Still hungry?" Kate asked feigning surprise. Only the two of them knew the true meaning of that question. After last night, she thought he would have been sated.

"Very", he answered with a little smile. He first kissed his mother and daughter good morning before going around the kitchen counter to kiss Kate in the neck.

"Well, look at you!" Martha exclaimed. Castle was now trying to grab a slice of bacon but soon got called to order by Kate. "Aren't they a cute little couple? Jeez, it took time but it has finally happened," she paused. "Had fun last night?" she asked with a playful smile.

"Maybe I should grab something and eat it in my room so that you can keep discussing the-" Alexis said.

"I think.. we'll stop it there," Castle said trying to change subject.

Everybody helped set the table while Kate was finishing with the cooking. Their time in the Hamptons was slowly getting to an end. Just a few more days to enjoy that place before having to go back to the Big Apple. And to reality.

They had been eating and chatting for a few minutes when Kate's cellphone rang. It was still lying on the kitchen counter. She got up to check who was calling.

"Excuse me, I've got to take this," she said walking out of the dining-area.

"Can't be more important than bacon and pancakes!" Castle exclaimed, before trying to steal a piece of Alexis's pancakes. As soon as it was in his mouth, he spit it out again. "What the...?"

"Peanut butter, jelly and tiny crumbs of chips for the crispy."

"How the hell can you eat that, that's-"

"Delicious. Wait, who puts chocolate and marshmallow in his omelet? We both have very strange taste when it comes to food, Dad," she paused. "Good to know you hate it. That way you won't steal _my_ pancakes."

Kate was still on the phone. She had walked to the living-room to pick up. She was far enough for them not hear her. They were too busy discussing food taste anyway. When she hung up, Kate looked at the three of them. Castle was laughing with Alexis, apparently trying new food combinations. Not very successfully though. Kate stepped closer but stayed out of the dining-area.

"Rick?" Kate called gently. He turned with a big smile on his face, from the laugh he was having with Alexis. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure," he said getting up. "Don't let her touch my plate... or anything that's in it for that matter," he told his mother. Castle joined Kate in the living-room, eyebrows raised, ready to listen to her. But instead of speaking, she just walked towards his office. "Wow, sure seems important. You look serious!" he said following her, throwing a last peek to make sure Alexis wasn't eating anything from his plate. Kate led the way into his office and closed the door behind him without saying a word. "What's going on?"

"You should sit down, Rick."

Castle was growing worried but he tried not to show it. He leant on the side of his desk.

"You look serious, you sound serious... this _must_ be serious!" She kept quiet for a moment. "Kate?" he asked getting seriously worried. "You're scaring me. What's going on?" He had become dead serious.

"This was former Detective Salazar," she paused. She knew he would probably remember him and understand on his own what she was going to talk about. Or rather, _who_.

"Why would he call you?" he asked, already having a hunch.

"Last year, I asked him to keep me informed about... Damian's prison sentence. I knew he meant a lot to you." Castle's look moved away from Kate for a moment. He remembered how he had been the one who had told Damian the light had been shed on his father's murder. He had not seen him since the police had come to his house to arrest him. He had not visited him in prison after he had been convicted with orchestrating the murder of his father. He may have not been close to him anymore, he may had felt betrayed, but Damian still meant a lot to him. "I'm sorry to be the one who tells you this but..." Castle looked back at her again. "They found him lifeless this morning. He committed suicide in his cell."

All she could do was wait. Wait for a reaction from his part but all she got was silent and a stare of utter incomprehension. Castle was thunderstruck, he couldn't say a word. After a while, he slowly stood up and walked to the large window. His eyes started to be filled with tears. He remained silent. What could he possibly say?

"They found a letter. It was addressed to you," she said very gently as she came closer. Castle turned his head to look at her, confused. "Salazar told me he would hand it over to you when we'll be back in New York." Castle simply nodded and his look got lost through the window again. Kate softly took his hand in hers, but he looked in the opposite direction as if trying to hide his tears as much as he could. "I'm so sorry," she added.

"I know... he was responsible for... his father's murder but... I maintain that without him..." He couldn't say more. He felt his throat was constricted, his vision was all blurred.

Kate squeezed his hand a little harder to make him understand that she was there. It was her turn to be there for him.

"You'd like a few minutes on your own?" Castle nodded gently and uttered a barely audible _Please_. "Okay," she said very softly, almost in a murmur. "Take your time."

She stroked his back gently and squeezed his hand one more time before walking out.

Castle stood there for a while. His eyes eventually turned on the huge shelf that was filled with books. His own novels were there too, ordered chronologically, among the hundred of other books. He walked towards them and his fingers touched each of them slightly, from right to left, from the newest to the oldest, as if he was going back in time. He stopped when he got to a small booklet on the far left. It had no hard cover and was very slim. It was only a few pages long. He held it. Leafed through it. This was an original copy of the Edgewick Academy's literary magazine in which his very first story had been published. Thanks to Damian. That was where it had all started.

After a moment, he put the booklet back on the shelf and took another look at his novels. He took a deep breathe and walked out of his office.

He stopped when he got to the living room. Looking down, he didn't feel like going back to the table as if nothing happened. He needed to get some air.

"Richard?" Martha asked seeing how quiet he was.

"I'm... I'm going to take a walk," he said in a quavering voice. "You can finish my plate," he told Alexis, barely looking towards them. "I'm not hungry. It was good though," he said in a low voice, looking at Kate.

"You want me to-" Kate ventured.

"No," Castle replied gently. "Thank you," he said looking into her eyes before walking out by the terrace and slowly taking the private boardwalk.

Castle walked down the beach for a while then sat on the sand and tucked his knees to his chest. His arms lying on them. He soon broke into tears, his head almost buried in his knees. He just couldn't help it.

He startled when he felt a hand on his shoulder and quickly looked away when he saw Kate standing next to him. He tried to wipe his tears away but more were coming and he could't stop the flow.

"It's okay," she whispered. "You don't have to hide from me." He was still looking away, unable to look her in the eyes. She sat down next to him. "I know you told me not to come but... you don't have to go through this alone. You should not go through this alone. Trust me."

Castle shook his head as if he couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe Damian had taken his own life. He couldn't believe he was so affected. After all, he had been betrayed by this man, and lied to, for decades. He tried to take a deep breathe.

"You must think I'm foolish to cry over a... murderer... who lied to me..."

"It's not all black and white, you know that."

"Right, it's dark grey?" he chuckled.

"All of them are human beings, Rick. They can do good before making wrong decisions that cost lives."

They stayed silent a moment.

"I didn't invent... a character," he said, this time looking deeply into her eyes. She had told him he had invented Damian, just like he had invented Nikki Heat or Derrick Storm. "He was there for me. He was there at the Academy and he was there after. When I wrote my first novel, he was the first person to read it. I wanted him to be the first to read it. He even helped me find an editor." Castle sighed. What if? What if he had never met him? Would someone else had told him he could be a writer? Castle stayed lost in his thoughts for a moment. Kate just kept quiet, her shoulder against his so that he could feel her presence. "You think I should have visited him?" he asked unexpectedly.

"Don't do that, Rick. Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault."

"What if I turned my back on him and shouldn't have?"

"Rick, stop. There was nothing you could have done..."

"He doesn't..." he started, realizing his mistake. "He didn't have siblings... no family. Did he only have any friend left?"

"He was facing life sentence. He knew he would not put a foot outside the prison anymore. Some people just can't handle this," she said before gently stroking his back again and taking his hand in hers.

"Did you tell them?" he asked after a while, turning to look back at the house.

"Yeah, they were worried seeing you like this. I advised them to leave you some space and to not mention this as soon as you'd be back. They understand."

He stared at her, fascinated by her strength. She had been there. She knew what it was like to lose someone that meant a lot. A little smile appeared on his face. She was right. He did not have to go through this alone. He was lucky to have this incredible friend by his side.

"Thank you... for being here," he told her squeezing her hand.

"Always."

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**Reviews are always appreciated! :)**_


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER 15**

* * *

Kate was looking for a good book to read. Castle's office was the perfect place for that. Over a hundred books were standing on that shelf. She was standing in front of it when he walked into the room. Her head was bent on one side as she was reading the title and author's name of each of them. Once in a while, she would pick one to read the back cover. But it seemed none of them was interesting enough as she was always putting it back on the shelf.

"Found one?"

She startled but a smile appeared on her face when she saw him standing in the doorway.

"Nope, too many choices," she said in a sigh. Castle came closer and started going through them too. "And you've got almost every genre!"

"Oh yeah, even... " He reached for one book at the top of the shelf. "Perfect for a nice read, lying next to the swimming-pool in the summer heat. If you're in the mood..."

Kate started reading the back cover out loud. Then her voice gradually lowered until she stopped completely.

"That's porn!" she exclaimed looking up at him.

"Erotic literature."

"You read that?" she asked with a serious tone, almost concerned.

"That was a gift. A joke played on me by a friend for my 30th birthday," he explained.

"Mh..." she said, skeptical.

"I swear, look..." He took the book back to show her the little note written by his friend on one of the first pages."See?" He put it back on the shelf. "So what are you looking for?" he asked more seriously.

"I don't know. Depends on my mood."

"And what mood are you in?" he asked still going through the books.

"I don't know... exactly."

He turned his look on her. _Undecided_. She sounded undecided.

"I bet you're the kind of person that needs at least five minutes to choose between two packs of cereals in a supermarket?" She kept silent as to approve his point. "I can't wait to go grocery shopping with you!" he paused. "That was irony," he added.

She shook her head and went back to reading the edges of the books.

"Do you read your own books?" she asked.

"No. What fun would it be? I know the ending," he replied still looking for _the one_ that would suit her.

"Then why do you have them here? Vanity?" she teased, briefly looking up at him.

"It can be useful to have them at hand, if I need to check something. A detail, a character, a description..."

"Found one!" she suddenly exclaimed. "Well... it's not very long."

Castle turned to see what she was holding. It was the very same booklet he had been holding a few days earlier.

"No, no, no, not that one," he said hurriedly. "Not available for read."

"Why not?" She started reading the cover. "_Edgewick Ac-_"

"That's why. Could you put it back, please."

Kate ignored his request and leafed through it, before starting to read the presentation for Castle's story.

"_The first story of Richard Rodgers. When a kid finds himself-_..."

"Kate!" he exclaimed, coldly. She stopped reading and looked up at him. "I'm serious. Please put it back." He was not joking. Kate could see the look on his face, the one he had when you'd better not mess with him. She had rarely seen him like that but she knew better than to keep pushing. She slowly closed it and put it back on the shelf as asked.

"Fine..." she said a bit upset. Castle was already regretting the tone he had used. She took a book at random and left the room without looking back at him.

"Wait... Kate!" he exclaimed. But she was already out.

# # # # #

Castle cautiously came closer but she kept reading as if he was not there. He sat down next to her.

"I'm sorry," he said gently. She did not react, nor looked up at him. "Kate..."

"I get it," she answered her eyes still on the book.

"I don't think you do."

"It's about Damian, isn't it?" she said, finally looking at him.

"No... it's about me," he simply said. He waited for a few seconds before giving a semblance of explanation. "That's... a personal story."

"Aren't all your books personal?"

"Not like this," he kept silent for a moment. "It would be... it would be like reading a diary."

"Right... a diary that all the students at the Academy could read. But not me."

"It was different."

"How so?"

"They were complete strangers."

"Strangers? They were classmates! It doesn't sound like strangers to me."

She realized she may had touched a raw nerve when he looked away. It took a while for him to answer.

"I told you I didn't have any friend. I was shy. I was... I was terrible at walking up to another kid to ask if I could play with him, or her. Hell, I could barely even ask another kid if I could borrow his pen," he paused and finally looked up at her. "They had no idea who I was. And they had no idea who that Richard Rodgers was, that had written that piece," he said. "They were complete strangers," he repeated.

"Who told me not to be afraid of opening up to someone you know-"

"I know-"

"... rather than to strangers?"

"_I_ did. But I'll admit it... There are things that are easier to show to strangers," he paused again. She could see and hear the emotion in his voice. "These were not... pleasant times, Kate. Wouldn't be appropriate for a summer read," he said in a lighter tone. "I'm sorry I talked to you like this. I shouldn't have. But please... don't. It's only there to remind me how it all started. That's all."

She nodded gently, agreeing. She would not read it. Not without his approbation. She knew that it could be difficult to open up on the past. He had given her time. It was her turn to be patient. She owed him that. Kate put the book on the couch near her and tucked her knees to her chest.

"So..." she started. "How did little Richard go from being horribly shy to showing off and being horribly eccentric?" she asked smiling.

He chuckled. Yes, he had gone a long way since then.

"You change depending on what you go through," he paused. "The story Damian published... " he started. Kate remembered the time Castle had told her how Damian had changed his life. How he had been the first person to tell him he had talent. "Other kids were feeling the same way I did. They were homesick, they didn't have friends. They recognized themselves in that story. They came to me. Thanked me... because I had managed to put words on their feelings. The homesick club! I was shy but then I realized that in a group of people I knew, I could take the lead, make the decisions. And when someone tells you that you've got talent, you understand that you're good at something. You get more confident. You realize... that you can be just as good and maybe as interesting as the other kids, you've got _talent_ too. That's why we need to tell our kids they are good at something. Wether it's drawing, running, singing... whatever it is, they need to know."

"That's what you did with Alexis?"

"Well, I had to be careful with her. I had to slow down on the compliments 'cause she's good at pretty much everything she does," he said, feeling so proud of his daughter. "Otherwise she'd have grown an enormous ego."

"Like her father," she joked. "I'm kidding," she said gently tapping him with her elbow. "Sort of," she added with a smile and a sidelong glance.

##########

It was their last day in the Hamptons. The next day, at the same time, they would all be in the car on their way back to the Big Apple. Castle was in his room, changing after the hot afternoon they had spent out. He saw Kate's cellphone light up as it started ringing.

"Kate... your cellphone's ringing!" Castle exclaimed on his way to the bathroom, her phone in his hand.

"Well, it's not waterproof... Let it ring!" she answered from the shower.

"Hm... It's Gates," he said, hesitantly.

"Again?" Kate sighed.

"Wh... What do you mean _again_? She's already called you?" he asked as he walked into the bathroom.

Kate realized he had heard her. Castle came closer, but she didn't notice him as she kept her eyes closed while she was shampooing her hair. He was delighted by the sight in front of his eyes. On the other side of the window-pan : Kate, naked, water flowing down her body, her legs...

"Yeah... She called a few times since I left the precinct."

Her answer brought Castle back to his senses.

"Have you talked to her?" he asked.

Kate startled as she heard the voice was coming from a few feet.

"Rick! What are you doing here?" she said after noticing him staring at her, standing outside the shower.

"I came closer so that we don't have to yell," he said with a smile.

"Stay out," she warned him.

"Oh... You don't always say that. Sometimes you say the total opp-" he joked.

"What were we talking about again? Oh, yeah, no, I haven't talked to her."

"Why?" he asked more seriously.

"I don't know what to tell her," she said rinsing her hair.

"You don't even know what _she_ wants to tell you," he replied. "You know," he said seeing she kept silent. He knew he was right. "She wants you back," he deduced.

"Yes."

"How do you know, you haven't talked to her. Maybe she just wants to hang out," he joked. "After all, you've got her phone number in your-"

"It's her office number. And she left a message on my voicemail. She said I was an important part of the team, that the time for my suspension had come to an end so I can come back if I want to. Look, can we... talk about this when I'm done?"

"I'm fine," he said as if nothing was the matter, still enjoying the view.

"I bet..." she whispered.

Castle handed her the towel as she walked out of the shower, without forgetting to take a peek at her naked body.

"What do you think?" she asked, getting dressed.

"Hot... beautiful, perfect," he said still admiring her body.

"About Gates!"

"Not my type. Too short, a little too old... Oh, you mean about her suggesting you go back?" he paused before being serious again. "I already told you what I think."

"Right..."

"I'll be by your side whatever you choose."

"That doesn't really help me make a decision."

"I can't choose for you. It's _your_ life, right?" he said reminding her of what she had told him a few times in the past. "Not my personal jungle gym."

"I see where you're going..."

"By the way, were you going to tell me about the calls?"

"I'm supposed to tell you about every call I get?" she said, on the defensive.

"No..." he answered. "That you get a call from a friend to see if you want to go shopping, I don't need to know but when it comes to Gates, the precinct... I think it's a _little_ _bit_ of my business too."

"Who is it again that just said it's _my_ life?" she said half-joking.

"Right, but I think lately I've been part of your life, and a little bit more than the last four years where we've been hanging around, where? At the precinct!" he exclaimed. "Look... we're a team. We're partners. If you go back, I go back. So I think it's a little bit of my business too."

"I was going to tell you," she said very calmly. "It's just... you seemed... pleased that I was not a cop anymore. I didn't know what your reaction would be."

"You want to go back. You were anxious about my reaction because you thought I would be disappointed in you choosing to go back," he said, reading between the lines.

"I'm still... undecided."

"No, you're not. You're not," he repeated. "I told you I would support you whether you chose to be a detective again or not. Does that mean anything to you?" He insisted, seeing she was keeping silent. "I'm actually waiting for an answer here."

"It's not that easy, Rick," she said after a moment. She was not talking about her decision. She was talking about them. The wall had come down, piece after piece, but that did not mean it was easy to fully trust someone again. To open up to that person without fearing of being hurt at one point. She had to learn this all over again.

"I know," he said understanding her point. "But I also know that I really want to make this work. Do you?"

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_Reviews are always appreciated! :)_**


	16. Chapter 16

******I apologize for the long wait between two updates. Some fun scenes (that I'm excited to sharing with you) are coming up, but others need to take place first.  
Thank you _very much_ for the nice reviews I've been getting since the beginning! I hope you'll enjoy the upcoming chapters as well. :)**

**CHAPTER 16**

* * *

Alexis was excited. Castle could see it: she couldn't stand still, she had been running through the apartment, gathering a few more of her stuff to take to college with her. She had settled in her room at Columbia for her summer program the day before. She was coming home for a few hours, just enough time to gather her last things.

"You're alright?" Kate asked as she approached the kitchen counter where Castle was sat. He was pensive. She could see that his daughter leaving really affected him. What would it have been like if she had left for Stanford or Oxford?!

"Yeah..."

"She's not leaving for ever."

"I know... but after being on her own I doubt she'll want to move back with her old father."

"Your mother came back," she said with a smile. "I guess you're not such a terrible roommate."

"Right... Well, she didn't really have a choice," he said. He was still lost in his thoughts. "I feel like the first time I brought her to preschool... You know what I did that day?" Kate shook her head. "I spent the whole day in front of the school. I didn't leave. I wanted to be there... just in case, you know." Kate always loved hearing Castle speak about Alexis. He was so caring when it came to his daughter. It was a side of him she had loved right away. "Sometimes I wish I could go back in time... when we would spend the day in the park, when I would sit next to her bed to watch her fall asleep... she was adorable. When she would get asleep in my arms, sucking her thumb... Now she's leaving for college. She grew up fast."

"Can't say the same about you. You take your time." Seeing she didn't manage to cheer him up, Kate took a more serious tone to reassure him. "Hey, you won't be alone. Your mother is still in the house."

"Oh my God!" he exclaimed. "Me... alone with my mother? I hadn't thought of that."

"I'm here," she added with a smile. "And soon I'll get my gun back," she added with a wink. Castle let out a laugh. She will be able to protect him from the big bad wolf again.

"Yeah," he said with a little smile. "But it's different..." They could hear Alexis's footsteps, she was walking in her bedroom just above them. "I haven't talked to her yet. She's so excited about this, I didn't get a chance to take a minute with her. It's like she's so in a hurry to leave." Castle still needed to talk to Alexis about Kate's decision and how it would affect him too. Maybe that was the chance to do so. "Hey, sweetheart, do you have a minute?" Castle asked as Alexis rushed down the stairs.

"Can't, have to be over there at 2:00 PM for the information meeting. Love you!" she said while kissing him on the cheek. "I'll call you tonight. Bye, Kate!" she exclaimed as she hurried out. Castle opened his mouth but she had already disappeared behind the door.

"What did I tell you? She doesn't even have time for me anymore," he said turning back to Kate.

"Don"t worry, it's just the excitement of starting something new," she reassured him, squeezing his hand.

##########

Alexis's phone biped. She got a text from her father. _Need to talk. Do you have time?_

_What's up? Can leave now and be home in about 30min. _She texted back. The only response she got was a knock on the door of her room.

"What are you doing here? I told you not to drop by-" she started.

"I know!" Castle said, hands up as to apologize. "We need to talk. Can I come in?"

"Sure," she said.

Castle briefly looked around to see how she had arranged her room, before leaning against her desk, his eyes still wandering here and there. That was when he caught sight of a picture of the two of them on her desk.

"You took it!" he exclaimed with a smile, happy to see his daughter had brought with her a little reminder of her father.

"Dad?"

He turned is head back to his daughter only to see her with her arms folded waiting for him to talk.

"Right, sorry," he said putting back the picture. He looked at his daughter for a moment. "Remember that talk we had... in the Hamptons, about Kate? After we announced we were... together?" he started carefully.

"Yeah..." Alexis said, already worried about where that conservation was headed.

"You said you wouldn't be very happy with us being together if she went back to the NYPD," he paused. Alexis stayed silent. She knew what he was going to say. "She is. She is going back to the NYPD."

"You're okay with that?" she simply asked.

"I told her... I already told her back then that I would respect her decision. If that's what she really wants, I'm okay with it. But _you_, on the other hand, were rather against the idea of me following her at the precinct," he paused again. How could he explain what he was about to say? "The truth is... I miss it."

"You want to go back," she said with a sigh.

"I write books," he said. "Great!" he exclaimed ironically. "How does that matter? I offered my help on the first case because I thought I could be useful, which turned out to be the case, and I thought it could be fun. Then... I got the idea of basing a new character on Kate. Research... and fun. And then-"

"It wasn't for the books anymore."

"Exactly," Castle nodded. "But it was not just about her either. It was _a lot_ about her..." he confessed, "but not solely about her," he paused. "It mattered. I did help solve cases and... when I was seeing her announce to families that we caught the guy, when she gave them closure... I realized I had a part in that, small or big, doesn't matter." Alexis had her head bent down, she was anxious. She had always been. Every since he had started this consulting work. "I don't know what to do. You don't want me to go back but I... I would like to go back."

"Kate wants you back."

"_I_ want to go back," he said insisting on the first word.

"And I don't want to be scared of getting a call in the middle of the day to tell me my father has been shot," she said looking up at him.

The sincerity of her daughter's remark and the anxiety he could read in her eyes took him by surprise. They both stayed silent for a while.

"Come here," he said holding out his arms to grab her hands. "Do you remember what it felt like... when you gave back that photo album to the daughter of a victim?" Alexis remembered. It was during her volunteer internship she had done at the precinct a few years earlier. She had investigated to find out who that photo album belonged to. "Every time I see Kate tell a family they got the bastard who has ruined their lives by taking the life of their loved one, that's how I feel," he paused again. She needed to understand it was more than a hobby or a fun way of spending his day. "When you worked with Lanie, on that bombing in Wall Street, you told me you felt that you were finally doing something that mattered, something valuable and important. You even asked me, '_isn't that why you do it?_'" he paused. "It is. That's why I've been doing it. That's why I want to go back," he said. "But I'm not going back if you don't want me to," he added.

Alexis took a minute to take in her father's revelation.

"How am I supposed to say no now? That's an impossible choice. If I say yes, I'm gonna be worried all day long, every day. If I say no, you're gonna hold a grudge against me for preventing you from doing something important to you," she said before letting out a deep sigh. The choice was hers. And it was one of the most difficult she ever had to make. Was she ready to put aside her fears so her father could be happy? "If I say yes... can you... stay away when they proceed to interpellation, when there's a gunfight?"

"Well, we don't always know when that happens, sometimes we walk in somewhere not knowing someone will open fire on us-"

"It's not helping dad."

"Right... sorry. I can try."

"Will you guys be able to put up with each other if you spend every day, and night," she murmured, "...together? It will be like being with someone 24/7. It's not good for a relationship."

"I'll take a few days off," he said with a smile. "How does that sound to you? Do I have your blessing?"

"Just be careful, please..."

"You know me."

"That's my point," she said. "I know you. That's why I'm telling you to be careful. Don't try to be a hero. Always remember... you're not a cop."

"I'm a writer. My bulletproof vest reminds of that every time I put it on. It's written in capitals so that I don't forget."

##########

Beckett and Caste had agreed on meeting up at Kate's for dinner. Or would they just take the _dessert_? But first, Castle had a meeting planned with Alexis. She wanted to see him and she had not explained why. Kate had made fun of him saying_ See, _s_he hasn't totally ruled you out of her life yet. _Castle just wished his daughter missed him already, that she wanted to come home. But it had only been a few hours since they had seen each other and given the discussion they were having about Alexis's first impressions on Columbia, that was not the case at all.

"I need your signature," she said getting a paper out of a folder.

"You're 18, you don't need my signature anymore."

"Oh, I do. That's not for school. I'm gonna read it to you first."

"What is it?" he asked.

"Well, I've decided that since you make us sign a contract for our stay in the Hamptons, it is my right to ask you to sign a contract as well. If you want to go back to the precinct, you need to agree to my conditions. That way I'll be a little less worried."

Castle was bewildered. If the rules were as crazy as his... After all, she took after her father for a lot of things. She started reading them, looking up at him now and again.

"Rule #1. Always wear your vest when on intervention. No exception."

"They know when it's necessary. I put it on when they do," he commented.

"No exception," she insisted, looking up at him as to make him understand he needed to listen. "Rule #2. Follow your intuition, it's generally good so if you feel something's about to go wrong : walk away. Or take the day off. Rule #3. Stay focus. No kissing with Kate. Work is work. Keep your eyes open... and your hands off her." Castle was about to protest but she kept going. "Rule #4. Do not walk in a gloomy room first. You don't have a gun to protect yourself. They do."

"What if I'm alone?" he cut her off.

"Rule #5. Never be alone."

"You just added that?"

"No, it's written right here," she said showing him the line on the paper. "Never be alone. Always be with a partner. A police officer," she added. "You need a pen?" she asked with a smile, handing him both the contract and her pen. "Please sign at the bottom and add the date."

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_Reviews are always appreciated! :)_**


	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER 17**

* * *

Kate was pacing up and down her apartment. She was excited, impatient, but nervous too. It was the first time he was coming over for a real _date_ at her place since their memorable night. He was late. She knew he had met with Alexis but that was a few hours ago. She was looking at her watch when she finally heard a knock at the door.

Kate had a puzzled look on her face when she saw him, standing there, handing her a flower. A red hybrid teas rose.

"The same one as in _Flowers for your grave_," he said and soon realized how awkward that sounded. "Not that I plan on killing you or anything, just..." he said a little panicky. "It's just to remind us of the first time we met."

She couldn't prevent herself from smiling. He was so irresistible when he was stuttering like this.

"That's sweet."

"_I'_m sweet," he said all proud of himself.

"I didn't know Richard Castle was a such a romantic."

"I didn't know either."

"Come in," she said stepping aside.

"That's why I'm late, I'm sorry," he said walking in. "It was pretty hard to find the right o-" he stopped. "Wow... what's all this for?" he asked when he saw the table set for a nice intimate dinner. The apartment was ready for a pretty interesting evening.

"Just to say a little thank you."

"Why? What did I do?" he asked taking off his jacket. "If you want to thank me for being so awesome I'm sorry to say I'm not responsible for this, I was born that way."

Kate chuckled. Yes, he was _awesome_ but that was not what she wanted to thank him for.

"It's not that. I wanted to thank you for the Hamptons," she said. "For insisting I came with you. I had a great time."

"I did too. I think we all did."

"And... you were right, it did make me some good," she added.

"Really?" he asked, genuinely interested. Kate started playing with the buttons of his shirt, looking up at him now and again.

"It had been a long time since I last took some time off and went out of the city. I didn't remember how good that felt to just... relax and enjoy myself. It reminded me that work is not everything. But being a cop takes a lot from you. You've seen that." Castle nodded in agreement. He knew how many nights she had spent at the precinct. He knew the commitment this job required. "And this little getaway made me realize what I want."

"And what is that?"

"Besides from... you, right now?" she said with a little smile, briefly looking up at him. "That I want to take more time for myself. For the people that are important to me. And you're one of them," she said more seriously. She got up on her tiptoes to put a soft kiss on his lips.

"You should learn to keep quiet sometimes."

"Why?" she asked, surprised. "What did I say?"

"Things that make me want you even more. Well... I shouldn't have said it like that. Let me rephrase that. I didn't mean _want_ in the sense of... wanting to take your clothes off and make love to you, that was the case before I even walked in but... wanting you all to myself," he said. "And not just as I writer," he added.

##########

Being back in New York City meant being back in the jungle. With lots of predators. And she was one of them. _Nathalie_. A seductive woman that would not fail to impress men. Esposito had already fell under her charms. It sounded like she had another target in sight though and Kate was seeing her as a threat. She had also been a suspect in the first case they were working on since Beckett had taken back her badge, her gun... and her handcuffs. Natalie was not a suspect anymore. Her alibi had checked her out. Fortunately, Castle and Beckett were over with the last questions they had to ask. This would be the last time they would see her. To the delight of Kate. Though, it seemed Nathalie was thinking otherwise.

"Well... too bad. That means I won't see you again," she said eyeing to Castle. "Unless..." she handed him her professional card with her phone number. "Maybe you'd like to get out and have a drink tonight. We could... talk."

Kate was standing next to him, arms folded, enjoying the show as Castle was trying to find a right answer. He had to say no, politely, without letting slip that he was in a relationship with the woman standing right next to him. Castle tried avoiding looking at Kate.

"That's very nice but... I'll have to decline," he said with a smile.

"Really? You can't or you don't want to?" she asked playfully.

Castle needed to be careful. Every word was important. He did not want it to be misinterpreted by Kate. He needed to think carefully before speaking, which he was not really used to doing.

"I can't... and I don't want to."

"Are you gay?" she asked bluntly.

"No! I'm not. I'm definitely not," he said with a laugh. "I'm not," he repeated more seriously.

"So, you're already seeing someone?" she asked, looking disappointed.

"Yeah."

"I hope this lady knows how lucky she is. Well, you should take it anyway, just in case it doesn't work out with her."

"I'm... not sure it's a good idea."

"Really, you should. You never know how things are gonna turn out..." she insisted, coming closer, putting the card in the pocket of his jeans, her eyes not leaving Castle's.

"O-... okay," he said, shyly, avoiding to look in Kate's direction. He was trying to step back a little to keep some distance. "Well... I think we're done?" he said, eventually turning to Kate.

"Oh, yeah. I think you're done," she said with a defying look. "Thank you again for your... help," Kate told Natalie.

"You are very welcome," she said, almost whispering, her eyes locked on Castle, who gave her a last quick and awkward smile before leaving her apartment.

"Thank God! I thought she'd never let go!" he exclaimed, relieved, once they were out.

"So... you're gonna call her?" Kate asked, briefly looking up at Castle, as they were on their way to the elevator.

"No! Of course not! I was just being polite."

Kate stopped in her tracks to face him.

"Isn't you that said you wanted to make this work?"

"Actually, my exact words were I _really_ want to make this work."

"Oh! You _really_ want to make this work... Then why didn't tell her that? Politely, of course," she added as to make fun of him.

"I... you're right. I should have. I didn't. But I'll... remember for next time."

"Next time?" she asked, frowning.

"Well let's be honest, I doubt this is the last time a woman will ask me out-"

"You also said you wanted me all to yourself. Didn't it occur to you that maybe it was the same for me?"

Her question took him off guard. Was she saying she wanted him, all to herself? Was it a way of saying-

"You want... yourself all to yourself?" he ventured, not able to keep a straight face.

"You know what I mean."

"Then why don't you say it?" he asked dead serious, defying her, trying to incite her to say it with her own words. He wanted to hear it from her.

Kate was saved by the bell of the elevator as the doors opened. She saw an opening, a way to dodge the question. Castle rolled his eyes as he saw her walk into the elevator without answering him. He walked in as well and stood against the back wall of the elevator. They both stayed silent as it went down. Kate facing the doors, hoping they would open soon to let her out. She was struggling wether she should say it or not.

"I didn't think I needed to. I thought you already knew," she simply said, not turning around.

After a moment, just before the doors opened again, Castle eventually answered her.

"Well, I can't read your mind. And even if I did know... it's always nice to hear it. Isn't it?" he asked as he walked pass her to get out.

There was a good chance the ride back to the precinct would be quiet.

##########

This time, Castle was about to leave. But the rest was exactly the same. It reminded him of that night she had finally faced her own feelings. She was there again, standing at his door.

"Hey," she said shyly.

"Hey."

"You're leaving?" Kate asked seeing he had his jacket on.

"Yeah," he simply answered, not in a mood for more details. "But that can wait," he added seeing her disappointment.

"May I come in?" she asked, taking his comment as an invitation.

He stayed quiet while stepping aside and opening the door wide for her to walk in. She didn't say anything for a while, as if she was trying to find the right words.

"Kate, I said that could wait, not that I had all the time in the world."

"Right..." She came a little closer, looking down, unable to look him in the eyes as she was saying it. "I want you all to myself," she eventually said, before looking up at him. But she soon looked down again as she went on. "And not just as a cop. I mean... also as a cop. If you team up with another detective like you did with Slaughter, I'm gonna be mad but..." she continued, "I'd like... to be the only woman you're interested in. The only woman you want to look at. I'd like you to stand up for me, to say that you're with someone when a woman asks you out, and that you want to make it work when they insist," she said looking up at him. Castle had a little smile on his face and was looking at her with tenderness. She had said it. She had said much more than what he hoped for. "I'm sure that... you can understand that I can be a little worried, given... your reputation."

"My reputation...?"

"You know..." _what I mean_. Again, she realized he probably wanted to hear it from her. But this time, he did not lingered on it.

"Well, you really shouldn't. Kate... I've been waiting for you for more than a year. You really think I would be stupid enough to screw it up now?"

"So... does that mean I have you all to myself?" she asked tentatively.

"Oh yeah! And you can do whatever you want to me".

He leaned forward to kiss her.

"So you threw it away?" Kate asked.

"Mh?" he did, as he was kissing her in the neck.

"The card, you threw it away?"

"Oh no!" Castle exclaimed with horror, stepping back, realizing the mistake he had made. He slapped his hand on his forehead. "What a...!"

"You didn't?" Kate asked, surprised.

"It's worse." Kate looked at him questioningly. How could it be worse? He had called her? "I forgot to take it out of the pocket... and I put the pants in the washing machine," Castle paused a second trying to picture the result. "So, don't worry... I think it's destroyed. Completely shredded. Good news is, that means I had totally forgotten about it."

Kate couldn't help but laugh at his silly mistake and at the face he was doing.

"It's not that bad," she reassured him.

"Not that bad? I loved that pants!" he exclaimed.

"It's not ruined, don't worry."

"Really? 'cause I heard..." he said all worried.

"Really."

"Okay... Alright. Where were we again?" he asked before leaning back towards her.

"Not that I'm not enjoying this, but didn't you have to go somewhere?" Kate thought.

"Oh... I just didn't have enough whipped cream in the fridge to cheer me up. I was on my way to the corner shop to buy some," he said with a smile. And yes, that could wait.

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_Reviews are always appreciated! :)_**


	18. Chapter 18

**Yes, two chapters in a day. You're not dreaming. A big part of that chapter was already written down. I got the idea a few weeks ago. I hope you'll enjoy! ;)**

**CHAPTER 18**

* * *

Castle was back at the precinct, sat on the side of Beckett's desk he was looking at the board. Ryan and Esposito approached, surrounding him like two wolves around a prey.

"So... you two... huh?" Esposito said, expecting Castle to give some spicy details.

"What?" Castle asked, not sure what he was talking about.

"Oh it's obvious, come on," Ryan insisted.

"Really?" Castle asked, understanding they had finally found out about his relationship with Kate.

"She's not hiding it."

"She told you?" Castle asked, surprised.

"Yep."

"I can't believe it!" Castle exclaimed, sounding upset. They had promised each other they would keep it for themselves, at least for now. It would be their _little_ secret.

"She asked a lot about you. If you were in a relationship-"

"Wait, what?" Castle realized they were not talking about the same person. Why would Kate ask them if he was in a relationship? It didn't make any sense.

"Natalie's even asked if you were married. She was surprised you had not already tied the knot. We told her you've been married twice but it didn't seem to bother her."

Castle looked relieved when he heard her name. _Natalie_. He understood the boys were still in the dark, and their little secret was still safe. He tried to keep the conversation going as if he had been on the same page all along.

"Yeah... but... it's not gonna work," he said, soon realizing it was not the best excuse he could have come up with.

"Why?! You have someone else in mind?" Ryan asked.

"She's not my type, that's all," he said, attempting to put an end to the conversation.

Ryan and Esposito looked at each other, stunned. You could not fool them that easily.

"What's wrong with you, man? I'm sure that's the type of women you've been dating since preschool!" Esposito exclaimed.

"I'm just not interested in her."

"Not interested? Are you kidding me? You're interested in someone else maybe?"

"Is there something you're not telling us?" Ryan asked.

Castle was getting an onslaught of questions and did not know who to answer first anymore.

"No!" he just said.

"_No_, you're not interested in someone else or _no_, there's nothing you're not telling us?"

"Would you just stop!"

Castle's behavior was getting more and more suspicious. Generally, he was bragging about his personal life, his old conquests. But lately, he seemed to be avoiding the subject. Kate unexpectedly walked in just in time to overhear an interesting part of the conversation, and Castle's answer. - "Are you seeing someone?" Ryan asked. - "No."

"Then why don't you go out with her?" Kate asked as she walked towards them, teasing him, knowing he could not say the truth.

"Are _you_ with someone?" Castle asked back. "If not, you can go out with her if you like her so much," he told Kate. "Same for you, Esposito. Why does it have to be me?"

"'Cause she's got a crush on _you_?"

"It's not my fault if I got lucky with my DNA," he retorted.

"What are you not telling us, Castle?"

"Nothing!" he exclaimed.

"You turned gay?"

"Why the hell everybody thinks I'm gay?! I'm straight," he said before looking at Kate. "And some people could vouch for me..." he added looking back at the guys. "What, just because I'm not interested in her I can't be interested in other women? In another woman," he rectified. "Give me a break!" he said, strangely getting more upset.

"Oh... Castle's upset when discussing women..." Esposito teased.

"Alright guys, he's right, give him a break. He's going through a lot lately. With his daughter having left home, it's not easy to-" Kate said with a sidelong smile.

"It really feels like I'm the only one who's interested in solving this case, even though I'm the only one here who's not actually a cop," Castle said, trying to get the conversation back to the investigation.

"He's right," someone said. Gates walked pass behind Castle. "I'm glad to hear you acknowledge that you're not a cop, Mr Castle." She then looked successively at Kate, Esposito and Ryan. "So... are you interested in solving this case or do you want to keep on discussing Mr Castle's personal life?"

"Thank you!" Castle exclaimed, thinking Gates was on his side. But he did a double take when he saw her face, and her look on him. He soon realized this was not necessarily sympathy from Gates's part. More of a boss ordering her employees to go back to work.

"Detective Beckett, Mister Castle. In my office. Now!" Gates ordered as she walked away from the team. They both looked at each other, trying to think about what they may have done wrong. Esposito and Ryan were shaking their heads and sighing.

"What have you done again?" they asked, feigning disdain.

# # # # #

Castle and Kate walked into Gates's office and it definitely felt like walking into the principal's office. They could expect the worse and they knew it.

"The door!" she said coldly.

Castle walked back to close it, giving Esposito and Ryan a last terrified look. He just wanted to get out already.

"You really think I wouldn't have noticed?" Gates started.

"Noticed what?" Kate asked. "Sir," she added, not wanting to sound like she was disrespectful towards her boss.

"Squeezing hands, lingering looks... It was already patent when you were not really together now... you're just doing it to everybody's face."

"Really?" Castle asked looking at Kate. "Does that mean... they know?" he whispered to Kate, discretely pointing to Esposito and Ryan, who were still looking in their direction hoping to catch a bit of the conversation by reading on their lips. Kate just shrugged her shoulder, a worried look on her face.

"Are you two sleeping together?" Gates asked straight.

Castle and Beckett answered simultaneously, exactly at the same time. But gave completely different answers. Castle looked at Kate. She had just said no? They answered again, and changed their answer. Now _he_ had said no?

"Looks like it's still very complicated between you two," Gates said. "It doesn't matter. Let me remind you that there's a rule among the NYPD, it's on your contract, Detective. No dating a co-worker."

"If I may..." Castle said, discretely raising his hand, almost like in a classroom. He paused, waiting for her reaction. "Since... you're not interrupting, that means... I can... speak," he carefully ventured. "I think I'm gonna check _my_ contract, that I signed when I got here to see if it says something about dating a NYPD officer. Because legally I don't work here. See, I'm not employed by the NYPD, so legally we're not co-workers. I'm just... it'd be different if it were Ryan or Esposito. I mean if _Kate_ was dating Ryan or Esposito," he added to clear is point thinking there could have been a misunderstanding.

"The impact is the same."

"Which is?"

"You two are gonna get killed on the field because you were too busy eating each other's face than looking around you for the guy with the gun."

"Actually I think we'd be even more careful," Castle replied. "We don't want anything to happen to each other," he stopped his argumentation to clear a point with Kate. "Actually I don't want anything to happen to Kate, I don't know if she..." he looked at Kate. "Do you back me up on this or do I go..." he gestured going forward, alone. She just nodded silently. "Right, we don't want anything to happen to each other, so we're even more careful and we protect each other. Did you know that I saved her life more than she has mi-"

"Mr Castle!"

"Right..." he just said, realizing it was time to shut up.

"If he's gone, I'm gone," Kate simply said, knowing it was a convincing argument. Castle turned his look on her. "I'd like to remind you that one of the reasons I'm here is because you wanted me back. You agreed to have Castle back too."

Castle nodded realizing she was making a valid point.

"You did not really leave me a choice, Detective," Gates answered, remembering the conversation they had had on the phone.

"If he's gone, I'm not as good a cop as I am when he's around."

Castle was staring at her. What was she saying? What was she implying?

"That's true," he said half-joking, looking at Gates. "And with all due respect... Sir... we're a great team, you can't split us up," he said a little more seriously. "Our brains work great together. Ask Ryan and Esposito. They are so mad when we constantly finish each other's sentence to solve a case," he said with a little laugh.

Gates kept quiet for a moment, looking successively at Kate and Castle. True, they were making a great team. An unexpectedly great team.

"Mr Castle," she said very gently. "Please check your contract as soon as possible. But be certain that if you screw up just once..."

"We know that..." Castle whispered in a sigh.

"I'm sorry?" she said, asking him to repeat.

"We hear that. Loud and clear."

"Keep it for yourself, do not make it so obvious. Work is work. Keep it professional. I don't want to have other examples of people getting together in my precinct. Consider yourself under probation. If you make one mistake, either of you, you're gonna have to choose between working for the NYPD or being together. Are we clear?"

"Yes, Sir," they both answered. At the same time.

Castle and Kate finally got to walk out of the office, and just one step outside was already feeling like a breath of fresh air. They felt like they had been holding their breath the entire time.

"What was that about?" Ryan asked coming closer, with Esposito right behind him.

"That was about you guys. I'd be careful if I were you..." Castle said with a sigh, shaking his head as to make them a reproach.

The boys stood there, looking at each other in utter incomprehension while Castle shared a malicious smile with Kate.

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_Reviews are always appreciated! :)_**


	19. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER 19**

* * *

"Hey, there you are! " Castle exclaimed walking into the break room of the precinct.

It was a tough case they were working on and Kate wished they would solve it soon. In the meantime, she needed a break. Kate was making herself coffee when he gently and discretely touched the small of her back.

"I told you I was taking a break, where did you think I was going?"

"Well, actually I went to the... never mind. I was thinking..." he started.

"Oh please, Castle. 5-minute break. Not another one of your theories. No work," she said with a sigh.

"It's not about the case."

"Oh..." she said a bit surprised. She frowned, not knowing what to expect. "Okay... then... go on."

"We need a code."

"A code?"

"For when we leave work. Like... 'Tomorrow' would mean... 'See you tomorrow'-"

"I think that's... _actually _what it means," she said cutting him off.

Castle threw her a look that said _You think?_

"Would you just... hear me out?"

"Sure, I think you're onto something here," she teased him.

Castle just ignored her comment and went on, keeping is voice low in case someone would be walking by.

"So, 'Tomorrow' would mean... 'See you tomorrow' but 'Night' would mean... 'See you _tonight'_, 'See you later'," he said with a mischievous smile. "And 'Night' could mean 'See you later at your place'," he said slightly pointing to her, "while 'Good night' could mean 'See you at my place'. What do you say?"

Kate lowered her cup of coffee after having taken a sip. She took a moment to think about it, staring at him.

"Why would 'Night' be for my place and_ 'Good_ night' be for yours? Are you saying yours is better than mine?"

Castle was taken by surprise. He had not thought about it.

"I just said that... like that. I hadn't seen it that way."

"And you call yourself a writer? Interesting. You better than anyone else should know that _every_ word is important."

"We can switch if you want. 'Night' for mine, 'Good night' for yours. But now that you mention it," he said looking up as though he was thinking more profoundly about it, "mine _is_ better than yours."

"Oh yeah, how so?"

"Well, for one it's bigger-"

"What's bigger?" Esposito asked as he walked in.

"You don't want to know," Castle replied in a flash not even looking at him. "Okay if you knew size of her-" he joked but stopped when he noticed Kate's look on him. "We were just debating the size of our apartments," he said more seriously. "My place is bigger than hers, right?"

"Oh yeah, for sure. Why? You're deciding which apartment you're gonna move in together?" Esposito joked pouring himself a cup of coffee. Beckett and Castle threw a worried look at each other. This talk was giving a little too much away about how close they had been recently. She needed to put some distance between her and Castle.

"Oh please, having him around at work is more than enough," Kate said. Castle was staring at her. _Really?_

"Hey! I'm right here," Castle exclaimed.

"I know."

"No, I meant : I'm right here, I can hear you."

"I know," she repeated.

"Well, maybe you could... rephrase that. A little nicer."

"I meant that having you around for 8 to 10 hours a day is already difficult, so 24/7? I'm glad Martha and Alexis take over once we're done here. Well, just Martha now 'cause Alexis has left for college. His own daughter is giving up, that's a sign."

"Rub it in... Rub it in. Please, it feels so good," Castle said.

"No, I think I'm done," she said content.

"Good..." Then he slowly focused on Esposito again. "As I was saying... we were talking about our apartments," he started, before moving his look on Kate again "... not to move in together, because that would be a _disaster_!" he exclaimed. "Plus, we'd have to be together for that. No, it's... to host a party. Special kind. And I was telling Kate that my place is bigger than hers, and therefore _better_."

"Bigger doesn't necessarily mean better," Kate stroke back.

"You're still talking about the apartment, right?" Castle asked with a straight face. Esposito couldn't hold his laughter. Castle couldn't either when he looked at Esposito, it was contagious. Kate just nodded, trying to hide her smile. _Men_.

"Okay guys... Break. 5 minutes. Out!" she said gesturing them out.

"Oh, come on!"

" Out!" she repeated.

"Me too?" Castle asked like a kid.

"Especially you."

"You're jealous," he said on his way out.

"So, what's that party you guys were talking about? Am I invited?" Esposito asked as they were walking out of the break room.

"You're not on the need-to-know basis yet. You'll find out soon enough," Castle simply said. And no, he was not invited. Those parties were... _private_.

##########

Lanie had called them. She had found an intriguing detail about the man who had been murdered. A little visit at the morgue was inevitable. Once that detail had been shared with them, Castle was perplex on how it could help them in any way.

"And that could tell us who killed him?" Castle asked.

Lanie crossed her arms, eyeing them both.

"I figured it out. I know who it is," she told them.

"You know who killed him? How?" Kate asked.

"No, I don't know who killed this poor guy lying on my autopsy table. That's your job. I meant, I know who your boyfriend is," she said. Castle and Beckett exchanged a worried look.

"Really?" Castle asked. "Who's the lucky guy?"

"Hm, that look just confirmed my thought," she said. Castle and Kate were tempted to look at each other again but refrained themselves.

"I.. it..." Kate started.

"It's Castle, right?" she asked, turning her look on him. For once, he stayed quiet. Kate and Castle exchanged another look. This time they were consulting each other : was it time to admit it or was there still a way to deny it? Castle had that look on his face, they didn't have a choice anymore. At least, not with Lanie.

"Why do you..." he still tried, with a forced laugh.

"Before you resigned," she told Beckett. "It was flirty looks between you two, now it's we're-in-trouble or I-want-you kind of looks."

"Seriously, _that_'s how you found out?!" Castle exclaimed, soon realizing he had just admitted she was right.

"My job requires a certain amount of observation from my part, Castle. And, really, you should not stand so close to each other." Castle made a step to the left. A gigantic smile appeared on Lanie's face. She was right. "So..."

"Can you keep that for yourself please?" Kate asked. "We don't want people to know. Especially Gates. If she finds out-"

"I'm out," Castle ended her sentence. "And you don't want me gone, do you?" he said with a charming smile. Gates already knew. But what better way to ask for discretion than mentioning the threat of the big boss? They knew Lanie would not want to put them in a delicate situation.

"Fine, I'll try to keep my mouth shut. I'm so happy for you guys! It's about time!" she exclaimed. "But if you want to keep it for yourself, try to be a little more discrete."

"We'll try," Kate said.

"Right. It's not always easy to keep our hands off-" Castle said but stopped when he saw the look that Kate was throwing at him.

"Can we count on you?" Kate asked. Lanie's answer was a simple nod. A nod from a friend, who knew Kate well enough to know she did not want her personal life to be in the spotlight. "Thank you."

"Oh and that detail you gave us..." Castle said.

"Not relevant. At all," Lanie said with a smile. "I just wanted you to know you may fool the boys, but not me."

Beckett and Castle were on their way out but Lanie called him back. He turned around but she kept quiet. He came closer again. Lanie still had a smile on her face for a few seconds, then it vanished.

"Kate's my friend. A dear friend. If you break her heart-"

"I would never wa-"

Lanie held her hand up to make him stop.

"If you break her heart, if you hurt her... Remember I know over a dozen ways of killing you without leaving any evidence behind," she said dead serious, slowly going for the scalpel.

Castle swallowed hard, almost scared to look away.

"I... O-... okay. Got it," he said. He stood there for a moment before walking backward to the door, unable to leave his eyes off her. "I'm... gonna..." he muttered feeling his way to the door behind him. When he was out, he finally turned his look away. He startled not expecting to see Kate standing there, waiting for him.

"What did she want?"

"Hm... she just... said she was happy for us. And that if I screwed it up, she'd kill me," he said still shaken.

"Mh," she just did, as if she was not surprised by Lanie's comment. "That's if I haven't killed you first," she added before walking away.

##########

"So... tomorrow?" Castle asked.

"Not even a... good night?" she asked taking her eyes off the paperwork.

"Really?" Castle asked before looking at his watch. "You've had to put up with me for ten hours and 35 minutes already today. I think that's too much for you in a single day. More would be torture."

"Oh come on, you know I just wanted to make him think that after his comment on moving in together. That was awkward. I needed to turn his attention away."

"Okay. Then... you want to move in together?" he offered.

"Wh... What?" she asked completely flabbergasted.

"Just kidding. Let's... take it slow."

"I like when you take it slow..." she said with a mischievous smile, looking at him, up and down. She had something on her mind. And he knew what.

"Really?" he sounded interested. "That's good to know. I'll remember..." he said with a smile. Kate made him understand he should stop talking. The guys were coming. Ryan and Esposito were coming to say good night before leaving.

"Night!" Esposito and Ryan said before walking to the elevator.

"They're coming too?" Castle whispered to Kate, who let out a laugh. "Night?" he asked more seriously.

"Good night?" she asked.

"Which one is it again? Good night is yours or mine? I don't remember. It's confusing. What did we choose in the end?"

"You know... they're not here anymore maybe we could... walk out of here together, it's not as if we've never done it before, won't arise any suspicion, and... maybe we could... go to my place? Order something? Unless you really don't like my apartment."

"Of course I like your place," he said as she got up before they walked to the elevator.

"Really? What do you like about it?"

"Well... it's smaller," he started, briefly looking at her with a smile, "... but it's vintage. It's more intimate, more cosy than mine."

"Yeah, yours is cold. Too modern for me..." she teased.

"Hey, I like my place!" he said pushing the button of the elevator. "And, if it's too cold for you, I know a way of warming up the place next time you come over..."

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_Reviews are always appreciated! :)_**


	20. Chapter 20

**I just want to say that this had been written weeks and weeks ago, long before we learnt that there would be a meet-the-parents dinner in the show. By the way, I'm really excited for that episode!**

_Note: Remember, the scene when Jim Beckett comes to Kate's apartment and meets Castle is a deleted scene from 3.13 "Knockdown". So we've never seen Kate introducing Castle to her father. The first time Castle and Jim Beckett met were in 3.24 "Knockout"._

** CHAPTER 20**

* * *

"Hey, I've been thinking." At the simple sound of this sentence, Kate's face darkened. She was waiting. She was scared. She _looked_ scared. "Okay, before I go on, can I ask you something? Why do everybody have this weird look on their face every time I say '_I've been thinking'_ or _'I've got an idea'_?" he asked noticing her anxiety.

"Maybe because you're so... unpredictable. We never know what you can come up with and given what you've already demonstrated... we have every right to be worried."

"That's fair. So, I've been thinking..." he paused. "What do you say we invite your father over for dinner?"

"My father?" she exclaimed taken by surprise.

"I'm sorry, maybe I should have said _spoiler alert_? You didn't know you had one?"

"Why would you want to invite my father for dinner?" Kate asked, confused.

"Could be fun. Maybe my mother could join us."

"A _meet-the-parents_ dinner? Sure, there's nothing more fun. Unless... you are planning a blind date for them?" she joked.

"Oh please, no. That would make us brother and sister by alliance or something. Ugh. By the way, we've got seniority. We started dating first, we've got priority over them. But I don't think we need to worry about this. I doubt they would be a good match anyway."

"What do you say? My father's not good enough for your mother?"

"That's... not what I meant."

"What did you mean then?" she said crossing her arms, feigning being upset.

"That... my mother... is maybe a little too colorful... eccentric and... crazy... for your calm and quiet... father," he tried to explain. "Soft-spoken, pretty peaceful, that's the total opposite of my mother. It's like a... light breeze facing a hurricane. It doesn't get along very well."

"How do you know?" Kate asked, surprised by Castle's description of her father.

"A light breeze. A hurricane," he repeated, insisting on each word. "It doesn't take a PhD in meteorology to know the diff-"

"No I meant about my father. How do you know he is _soft-spoken_? You talked to him?" she asked.

"That's generally what I do when I meet people..." he ventured.

"You never _met_ him. You've barely _seen_ him at Montgomery's funeral."

Castle was unsure what to say. He had just been caught off-guard. Indeed, he had completely forgotten that he had never told Kate about his talk with Jim Beckett.

"He... was at the hospital. So was I."

"What did you talk about?"

"We didn't really talk then given the circumstances..." he stopped realizing his mistake. How long would it take for him to learn to _think_ before speaking?

"You said you met him and that you talked. If not at the hospital or at the funeral, then when? I don't remember introducing you to my father*."

Castle was again in a delicate position. He was dating a detective. A woman who was interrogating people for a living. And she was stubborn. That was made for an explosive combination.

"Well... okay, you know what? We'll settle this in a minute but first can you answer _my_ question, you know, the beginning of the conversation: what do you say we invite him for dinner?"

"Sure, you two sound like best friends!" she said with sarcasm. Castle sighed.

"Oh, come on Kate! Maddening. Remember, you can be maddening! Among other things... So what do you say, seriously? Yes or no?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah... yeah?" he said all excited. "Or yeah... meh? You don't sound too excited."

"Yeah yeah. It's just... he doesn't know about us."

"It will be a good opportunity to tell him."

"I think he'll figure out by himself as soon as we invite him. Why else would you invite _my_ father for dinner?"

"Good point. Still... It'll be a good opportunity. You're okay with him knowing, right?"

"Sure. He likes you, right? You talked. He knows you. When was that again?"

Castle realized he would have to come clean sooner or later. She would not let go.

"Okay... He... came over to see me."

"When?" she insisted.

"He came here... a few days before..." Castle gestured to her chest. Her scar. Her fingers instinctively went for it. "Actually... it was just before I came to your place to ask you to walk away from the case," he paused, giving her time to digest the news. "He came to ask me how you were doing, how dangerous was the man you were chasing and... he asked me to not let you throw your life away," Castle paused again. "His own words."

Kate was a bit shaken. Her own father had gone behind her back, to try to protect her. To all the people she knew, he had asked Castle to look after her?

"Why... you?"

"Why _me_? Why did he come see _me_? Ask him. He knew you cared about me. He knew I cared about you. He's not the only one who came to ask _me_ to make _you_ back down at the time. So did Montgomery. He told me I was the only one you would listen to. Apparently, he was wrong. You didn't listen to anybody, not even me." He saw she had a hundred questions going through her mind. "Kate-"

"Why did you never tell me?" she asked very softly.

"He didn't tell you either!" Castle defended himself. "I'm not alone in this... I just... Look, imagine my surprise when he introduced himself to me at the door. And frankly, I completely forgot to tell you, with everything that happened after that... and then you didn't call for months... I didn't get a chance to tell you and then it didn't really matter anymore."

He thought she was going to make another scene about another lie by omission from his part.

"So..." she started. "You know my father."

"I've... _met_ him," Castle said with a little smile. "I can't say I _know_ him. That's why I'd like to invite him."

"Does he like you?"

"Well... he didn't throw a punch at me, didn't threaten me or anything. So, I think it's safe to say that he doesn't hate me... at least," he said. "I think he likes me," he said thinking about it. "He said he had heard about me. From you. Only good things."

"Maybe I should just tell him first. About us," Kate thought. "You know... to prepare the ground."

##########

"Mother, what is this?" Castle asked as he came around the kitchen counter.

"A 2009 Chardonnay from Burgundy. He's gonna love it!"

Castle stared at her, as if he was waiting for her to have an illumination. Which she did not.

"Sure. And next time I want to hang out with my pal Chris, who used to be an addicted gambler, I will suggest him a trip to Atlantic City," Castle said with sarcasm. "What did I tell you?!" he exclaimed.

"Oh... right," Martha said understanding her mistake. "Darling, I'm sorry, I forgot he used to be an alcoholic."

"You don't... have to say it like that. Actually, don't mention it. At all. That would be better."

"So.. no wine? What's a dinner without wine!"

"Mother, please," he said, swallowing an appetizer.

"Richard! You're suppose to help not eat everything before our guest gets here!"

"I'm tasting to see if it's good," he said with his mouth full. "I wouldn't want to serve-"

"We all know your taste isn't the best reference when it comes to food," Alexis said as she was coming down the stairs.

She had spent the afternoon home but tonight, she would leave to spend the night out with her friends.

"You're all being so sweet to me tonight..." Castle said. Kate came from behind, put her hands around him. "See, that is being sweet," he turned his head, kissed her.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked very gently.

"Sure, apparently my help is not needed here," he added looking back at Martha.

They went to the living room to have a more private conversation. Kate was hesitant and Castle could see it. She wanted to say something but she did not know how to put it.

"Oh! _You_ are anxious about introducing your boyfriend to your father. How cute!" he said with a smile. "I'm terrified," he added dead serious, dropping his smile in a second.

"He already knows you, it's gonna be fine," she said all nervous. She waited for a few seconds. "Right?" She frowned.

"You've already told him a lot about me so..."

"He knows he can expect unexpected childish behaviors and jokes, as well as unflattering remarks, probably due to stress from your part-"

"Are these the great things he heard about me or do you think he was talking about something else?"

Kate would not answer. It was too late. Both their heartbeats rushed when they heard the knock on the door. They shared a last glance as to give each other some comfort, and courage. He gave Kate a last OK sign with his hand before opening the door.

"Mr Beckett! Good evening. Please, come in," Castle said all excited. Or rather, all nervous. He started by introducing his mother. "Well you've already met my mother, Martha."

"So very nice to have you with us tonight, Mr Beckett," Martha said shaking his hand.

"Please, call me Jim," he said with a smile, handing her the flowers he had brought. It started okay. "Thank you for having me."

"Hm, just to be clear... my mother leaves with me, not the other way around," Castle clarified. "It started as a temporary situation and then changed to long-term residency..." he said looking at Martha. "And since you're a lawyer maybe we could discuss this later tonight. I'd have a few questions," Castle whispered to Jim.

"But I cooked!" Martha said gently accepting the flowers.

"Right, and I helped," Castle added. "Sort of. Hm, Alexis, my daughter," Castle said. "She was just leaving. You give me a call me when you're back in your dorm room?"

"Dad..." she did after greeting Kate's father.

"Please?" he insisted.

"Fine, I will."

"Thank you," Castle said giving her a last kiss goodbye. "Have fun!"

"You too... " Alexis said on her way out.

"How old is she?" Jim asked.

"Eighteen, she moved out a few weeks ago. College."

"They grow up too fast, don't they?"

"Yes they do. Speaking of daughters... Kate..." he started. "Well I'm pretty sure you know her, otherwise that would mean there has been a huge misunderstanding!"

"How are you doing, Dad?" she asked as she hugged him.

"I'm great. How's my Katie?"

Castle couldn't helped but smile when he heard it. _Katie_. She had told Castle not to call her that. Only her father could.

# # # # #

The dinner was going well. Castle and Kate had progressively relaxed, seeing their parents had not killed each other. _Yet_. Unfortunately, a little remark from Martha had inflamed the debate. They had been so close from having the perfect meet-the-parents dinner.

Castle and Beckett were looking at each other as their parent were now bickering. Castle's and Beckett's lips were moving but no sound was coming out. They were silently debating whether they should stop this before it got ugly. Strangely, they almost had a sensation of deja-vu. It looked like them, four years ago. Then all of a sudden, Castle got up, his two index up as to arise attention. He was ready to sermon them.

"Okay that's enough! Stop it!" he exclaimed. He took a moment, waiting for silent to take over. "Mother," he started calmly, "I warned you. You should refrain certain fervor and be more considerate in your words as you can come across as a little too eccentric, sophisticated and unsettling for someone who doesn't really know you yet. No," he said as she opened her mouth to answer. "I don't want to hear anything, I'm the one speaking here," he said staring at her, before turning to Kate's father. "Mr Beckett, Jim, from what I've heard and from what I've seen... you seem like a very considerate and courteous man. Now..." he went on, looking back and forth between Martha and Jim, "I knew when I asked Kate about this dinner, that you two may not necessarily get along right off the bat. You are two very different people. We are two totally different families. Artists that don't really take anything seriously, with an actress and a writer, on one side and a family of serious and dedicated cops and lawyers on the other. Not every actress is superficial," Castle said looking at Jim, "and not every lawyer is a shark," he added looking at his mother. "You are gonna have to find a way to get along. Because I foresee plenty of occasion you two will have to be in the same room... Christmas, birthdays parties... You're different but look at us!" he said talking about Kate and himself. "When we first met we were two total opposite human beings. She hated me! She wanted to get rid of me from the get-go!"

"That's right," Kate nodded in agreement.

"Really?" Castle asked. "I said that to emphasize my point... you really hated me to the point where you wanted to get rid of me?"

"We'll talk about that later, if you don't mind..."

"Right, we will. My point is..." he paused, "... with time, some patience from Kate's part and perseverance from mine... we got to _know_ each other. We got to to _like_ each other. We became close friends. And now we can't stay away from each other for more than a few hours. You don't have... to get _that_ close," he added, "but you're gonna have to get along. Get to know each other, without prejudices... I'm sure you'll find that you have plenty of things in common." He eyed them both. They seemed skeptical. "Maybe not..." he added. "But you have at least one thing in common. You love your child. And those children are happy! So don't be the ones that screw it up," Castle warned them.

He kept looking at them for a while before taking a seat. The parents looked like they didn't dare looking at each other.

Kate put her hand on his and squeezed it softly. They looked at each and shared a little smile. Kate realized how far they had come from that day they had met. Who would have bet those two individuals would become so close, would make such a great team and such a loving, and lovely, couple?

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_Reviews are always appreciated! :)_**


	21. Chapter 21

**CHAPTER 21**

* * *

Kate was curious. Excited. But a little anxious too. Where was he taking her? Earlier that day, Castle had told her he was taking her out tonight. But where? He wouldn't say. She had met with him at his apartment as agreed and they were now taking a ride on the subway. Blue Line. Columbus Circle. That was their exit. They were strolling along the south side of Central Park. Horse-drawn carriages were parked there waiting for tourists. Kate was looking around, trying to figure out where they were going. Castle had that little smile on his face.

They were getting closer to the Apple Store. She didn't need a new phone or computer. It didn't make sense. She crossed it off her list. St Patrick's Cathedral. No way Castle wanted to go to mass. They walked pass it. She crossed it off her list.

The Fifth Avenue was known for being the home of the most luxurious brands' stores. Castle could definitely afford it. But she didn't need a new wardrobe either.

"Arrived at destination," Castle said when he stopped.

Kate looked up. _Saks & Company_ was written above the door. Not bad. But Castle was looking in another direction. Above Kate's shoulder. She turned around to see what he was looking at. Of course! How could she have forgotten about it? _The rink_. Every November, a skating rink was installed in front of the Rockefeller Center. She turned back to Castle. That smile of his was even bigger now.

"No way!" Kate exclaimed, her eyes wide open.

"Oh yeah. You can't say no. We have a VIP reservation for 8:30 tonight. Direct access to the rink, no need to wait in line," he said. "Time to see you in action."

"I told you, I suck at it!"

"Can't be worse than me. I never set a foot on an ice skating rink. _Ever_. You'll look like a pro next to me."

"Never?" she asked, surprised. Castle just shook his head as an answer before looking at his watch.

"It's showtime," he said.

# # # # #

They were putting the skates on. A real adventure for Castle. It was hard to believe you could stand on that tiny piece of metal.

"Manage to keep your balance?" Kate asked. She was ready, she hadn't lost the habit.

"Hardly, I feel like I'm gonna fall on my butt more than once tonight..."

"Don't worry I think it's well-padded to absorb the shock," she joked.

"You've got a problem with my butt?" he asked.

"Oh no, I love your behind!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, I noticed," Castle said giving her a wink, just before stumbling over his shoes.

"Watch out!" Kate held him back.

"That's gonna be fun..." After having made a few steps, Castle was getting a little more confident. But being on the ice would be a whole different thing. "Now I get how you can walk, and run, with your heels! Can't be worse than skates."

"You should try my heels now that you know what skates feel like, and see for yourself."

Kate got on the rink first and waited for Castle, who was taking a look at the skaters. It didn't look like you needed to be a genius to stay on your feet. Kids could do it. How hard could it be?

"Alright, Castle. It's showtime," she said with a smile holding out her hand.

Castle hesitantly came on the rink, not loosing grip of the fence.

"Why don't you... skate a few laps, while I get used to this?" he said trying to put one foot before the other.

"It's not that difficult. Bow your knees a little, put your weight on one side, and push with the other foot," she explained, giving a demonstration.

"Great. I'm getting advice from someone who says she's terrible at it."

She gave him one of her looks. Castle obeyed. It was a bit shaky but he just needed practice. He was already a little better at it after a few minutes. He didn't complain, he could have had a worse teacher...

"Come on, let's go to middle," Kate suggested.

"To the... middle? Yeah, so that I can fall in front of everybody? No thanks."

"I forgot, you hate being the center of attention, don't you?" she teased.

"When I do something cool, I don't mind. When I look like an idiot? I pass."

"You've been the center of attention looking like an idiot before, trust me. Now, come on, let go of that fence. Hold my hand."

"Have you noticed all those people? You want to cross their way to go to the middle? Seriously? I'm gonna get bumped into and I'll finish on my ass. My lovely behind you appreciate so much. You don't want it-"

"Stop looking for an excuse. It's time to take off the training wheels!"

"There's no wheels on a skate in case you-" he started.

"We'll wait until there's a moment when there's less passing."

"Whatever. You lead, I'll follow," he sighed.

"Isn't that what we've been doing for four years?" she said giving a push and leaving him behind.

"That's... Wait!" he exclaimed. No more fence to hold onto. Castle pushed, as explained, and threw himself in the middle of the crowd. It was more like trying to walk on the ice. He was a little clumsy at it. Kate was enjoying the show. People were sliding pass him, avoiding him. He was waiting for someone to bump into him. But to his surprise, nothing happened. When he was finally in the middle, Kate was laughing. She grabbed his hands to stop him.

"Nice!" she said. "See that's not that hard."

"You on the other hand, really _suck_ at it. You're right, you're _terrible_ at it," Castle said with irony. How could she say she was terrible at it? She definitely knew how to ice skate. It looked as natural as riding a bike for her.

"I'm probably okay, but terrible compared to my mother. That's probably what I meant. Come on, let's do a few laps."

Practice. Practice was everything. After a few laps, he eventually managed to stopped where he wanted. He managed to _turn_. He was a little more relaxed too, sharing a few laughs with Kate.

# # # # #

Castle and Beckett were taking a break. They had reached the outer circle of the rink again, holding the fence. They were looking at the other people. There were old couples, some parents with their kids and groups of young teenagers. When Kate saw a couple with their little girl, it brought back memories.

"You know, it's funny. I used to come here every year on the 1st of December, with my parents. It was one of our Christmas traditions... which died along with my mother."

"I know," Castle said very softly, still looking at the skaters. Kate was astonished.

"You... know? How?"

"Your father mentioned it at dinner," he explained, his eyes following an old couple on the ice. "You know, after the atmosphere warmed up again and the conversation went back to normal between our parents? I don't remember what we were talking about but he briefly mentioned it. It caught my attention. I thought... it could be a nice surprise," he said turning his look on her. Kate was staring at him, her mouth was half-opened but she was not talking. She did not know what to say. December 1st. It was December 1st. "I... hope you don't mind. I thought..." he started. _I thought you'd miss your mother around Christmas._ "... you'd like it," he simply said.

Kate abandoned the idea of finding an answer to this. She could not find anything to say. But now she knew. He cared. He cared about her. Probably more than any of her boyfriends had ever cared about her. Kate kept staring at this man who had been through the best and the worse of the last four years of her life. Then a little smile enlightened her face. She was grateful. She was in tears. She was in love.

"I like it," she said very softly. But what she really meant was _I love you_.

"Good," he said with a smile. "Because I thought... maybe we could try to bring that tradition back to life? I'm actually kind of liking it..." he confessed.

Kate chuckled before coming closer to caress his cheek with her hand. She gave him a soft kiss.

"I'd love to."

It sounded more and more like _I love you_. That wasn't it yet, but she was almost there.

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_Reviews are always appreciated! :)_**


	22. Chapter 22

**CHAPTER 22**

* * *

Castle had to go to a meeting with his publisher. Gina. As his daughter had suggested, being 24/7 with the same person may not be a good idea. A few hours away could be beneficial for both of them. But Kate realized she missed him around the precinct. She also missed his crazy theories.

"Where's our favorite writer?" Lanie asked when she saw Kate walking in the morgue, alone. "Don't tell me you two had a fight?"

"No, he had a meeting with his editor. He'll be back this afternoon. Did you find a match for the DNA samples we found in the apartment?" she asked, leaning forward to look at the wound on the left temple of the woman lying on the table.

"Yes and no."

"Meaning?" she asked looking up at Lanie.

"Three of the four samples are totally unknown. No record in our database. The last one is a 50% match with someone in the system."

"50%? So, that's a close relative?"

"A sibling, a child or a parent," she developed.

"Whose match is it?" Lanie stayed silent, Kate could see she was hesitant. "Lanie?" she insisted.

"Our favorite writer," she said as though she was sorry. Lanie had been relieved to see Kate walking in alone a few minutes earlier.

"Wh... So... The DNA belongs to... either Martha or Alexis?" she said in a laugh.

Lanie shook her head. It couldn't be theirs.

"It's male DNA."

"Male?" Kate's eyes went wide.

Lanie nodded. They both knew what it implied.

"As far as I know he doesn't have a son or a brother..." Lanie said.

"Well maybe he's got a half-brother that he doesn't know?" Kate asked knowing full well what Lanie would answer.

"You only share 25% of the DNA with a half-sibling, you know that. There's only one explanation left."

"That's... Have you double-checked?"

"I triple-checked you mean! I couldn't believe it myself either."

"I thought we'd just have to ask the person about this relative but since he doesn't know him... he won't by any help."

"You plan on telling him?"

"Should I?" Kate asked for advice.

Lanie sighed. She knew Kate was facing a terrible decision.

"From what I know you two have been hanging around hiding too many secrets from each other."

"Yeah, but... I think he never looked for his father so that means he doesn't want to know."

"The choice is yours, Kate. But... there's a good chance he'll find out when he comes back this afternoon. It will be in the report."

##########

Kate was looking at the murder board, lost in her thoughts again after Esposito and Ryan had told her about a possible suspect, someone who had a connection with their victim.

She had told them. They would have found out sooner or later, reading the report. They had all agreed to stayed silent on the matter. If anyone was to bring up the subject, it would be Kate. No one else. Not Lanie. Not Esposito. Not Ryan.

"Hey, what did I miss?" Castle asked as he sat down next to her.

"Hey," she said. This time she was half-happy to see him. It would be so much easier for her if he sat that case out. "Not much. Lanie got the results for the DNA samples. Three of them are not in the system and the last one is only a 50% match to a guy in our system. We interrogated him but he was adopted... so he doesn't know his relatives. Can't help us on that one," she said hoping he'd buy that explanation. Castle was nodding, listening carefully to Kate's briefing. "But the boys found an interesting lead about an ex-boyfriend who's already been convicted with violence so we'll follow that first."

"Could be an easy one," Castle said.

"We'll see," she said a bit preoccupied.

"You're okay?" he asked gently.

"Yeah," she answered with a forced smile, keeping her folder at close range. She hoped he would not get his hands on Lanie's report. "How did it go?"

"Oh, pretty good. Well... not really. I got sermoned because I haven't delivered the first chapters as I was supposed to. I told her I've been busy lately," he said with sidelong smile.

"Busy, huh?"

"Yeah. I don't have a lot of time off. I mean not... _off_ 'cause that would mean _from_ work, when really what I need to do is... _work_. Anyway, you get it."

Kate chuckled.

"Careful Mister Writer, it seems like your volunteering here is becoming your main job."

"Yeah, except I don't get paid!" Castle chuckled.

"You've got a problem with not being paid, Mr Castle?" Captain Gates asked coming from behind.

"No... not at all. I'm glad I can selflessly help my fellow citizens. Sir."

"And we thank you for your unconditional dedication," she said with some sarcasm. "Remember, you chose to come here. You're welcome to leave anytime," Gates said with a smile, before walking off to her office.

"Thanks for the reminder!" he exclaimed as she closed the door. "What did I do to her?!" Castle asked.

"You can take a few days off if you want," Kate said very gently.

"Are you suggesting you're tired of having me on your back all day long?"

"No, of course not. I just... I think we'll handle that one. Remember, I was already doing this job before you came along."

"Yeah. But you told Captain... _Gates of Hell _here that you're doing it even better now," he said remembering their talk with her when she had found out about their relationship. "Let's see what that ex-boyfriend has to say first."

##########

Castle was making dinner. Kate was sat on the stool, staring at him. She had been for a while.

"I know I'm ruggedly handsome and looking at me is probably a treat, it's like staring at a masterpiece in a museum, but... I guess the only reason you're staring at me is because you've got something on your mind."

"I've been staring?" Kate asked, as if she had just been brought back to reality. She had not realized she had her eyes locked on him for several minutes. Castle nodded.

"If staring still means looking at someone for five minutes then yes, you've been staring."

"Sorry."

"Something's bothering you. What is it?" he asked, putting down his knife. "Is it about the case?"

"No," she said. It was only half true. They had that ex-boyfriend in custody and it looked like the case would be closed quite easily but she was still thinking about that DNA sample and what it meant. He was somewhere, out there, not very far from them. Castle stayed quiet, knowing she would say something eventually. "No, I was just..." Kate was still struggling with herself. She was not sure she should bring up the subject. "Do you... ever think about your father?"

"Not really. Why are you asking?" he asked, surprised.

"It's just... I was wondering. You've never wanted to know? What if he's-"

"A serial killer?" he asked with a menacing voice. "Wait, that would explain a lot..." he joked.

"Yeah, like your fascination for death," she said. Kate was only half-joking. He still had never told her where that came from. And she was still wondering if that story he had once told her about that young boy he had found on the beach was really a _story_. Or was it the truth?

"Does it bother you? Not to know where I come from?" he asked more seriously.

"No! Not at all. It's just... I know I would want to know."

"You're a cop. I'm a writer. You want the facts, the truth. I make up stories." Kate nodded. He was right. She was seeking the truth. He was interested in the stories. Ever since they had met the stories were what mattered to him. The truth could be boring. Crazy theories were much more fascinating to him. "That's the beauty of not knowing. I can pretend he's anybody in the world. He can be anyone I _want_ him to be."

"So you don't miss him?"

"Alexis asked me the very same question one day. Now you can't get enough of me but five years ago, you didn't miss me. Because we had never met-"

"Well, even after our first meeting, I didn't miss you," she said with a smile. "It's only... lately... that I found myself missing you. Not often but..." she teased.

"Nice to hear it," he noted before taking back the conversation. "What I mean is, how can I miss something I've never had, someone I've never met?"

"Hm," she agreed as she got up. "Richard Castle, philosopher." She walked towards him, snuggled in his arms. "That's better than staring at a masterpiece in the museum. Here I get to touch the piece with my hands," she said running hers in his back.

"Yeah, and you're very handy."

"Am I?"

"Yeah... maybe you could use them."

"Maybe. What are you thinking?" she asked playfully.

"Mh... let's see," he said, keeping a sensual tone. "Your strong's grip on the tool... we call _knife_! Wanna help me cook dinner? I've got another one you can use," he said more seriously.

"You..." she said giving him a gentle punch on his shoulder.

"Oh... Katherine Beckett, what did you have in mind?" he said feigning shock.

##########

Kate was staying over for the night, as often lately but Castle did not mind at all. On the contrary.

Castle turned around and instinctively put his arm around her, burying is head in her neck. He felt her hand brushing his arm, which woke him up a little more.

"You're awake?" he whispered.

"Yeah," she murmured, her look lost on the ceiling.

"What time is it?"

"4:30," she answered. She didn't even need to look. She knew well enough it was the middle of the night and she could not get any sleep.

"Since we're both awake and you can't sleep maybe we could... do something else?" he asked as he was kissing her in the neck, slowly getting on top of her. But when he looked at her, she was still lost in her thoughts.

"Hm?" she did, not having heard a word he had said.

"Nothing, forget it," he said lying back next to her. "So... what's bothering you?" he asked a moment later.

"Nothing."

"Right, so you've been distant and preoccupied all day long for no particular reason. Don't tell me you have nothing on your mind. What's going on?"

"I just can't sleep, that's all."

"Kate... I just wanna help, if I can," he said in a reassuring tone.

"Fine," she said after a moment, leaning on her elbow, her other hand on his chest. She took a moment before sharing what she had on her mind. _Sort of_. "I learnt something about a friend of mine today. So far... _she_," Kate said using a smoke-screen, "... she always had the choice and if I tell her what I found out, she won't have that choice anymore. She'll be forced to face the truth."

- "Hm... I'm not sure I follow. What choice, what truth?"

"I can't tell you. It's a secret she asked me to keep."

"Okay..." he said still unsure. He could only go step by step, asking one question after the other. "How big is it?" he asked.

"Big."

Castle tried to rephrase to see if his interpretation was good.

"So... you know something about that friend that... if you tell her will... what? Change her life?"

"Yes."

"In a good way or...?"

"Not necessarily. I think. According to... what she told me. Should I tell her anyway? I mean, what if I don't and then one day she finds out I knew?"

This sounded so familiar to Castle's ears. He looked at her for a few seconds before opening his arm for her to snuggle against him.

"You think it would be best for her not to know?"

More than telling her what she _should_ do, he wanted her to find the answer she was looking for, by herself.

"I think she wouldn't want to know."

"You don't want to put her back up against the wall and deprive her of that choice she cherishes. Am I correct?"

"Yes, I think that sums it up."

"Well... if she ever finds out, she'll probably feel hurt for a while, betrayed," he said remembering what he had felt hearing Kate's words in that interrogation room. His words resonated for Kate. What had she felt when she had found out about Castle's secret? "She'll be upset at you for hiding it. But... if she's a true friend, she'll understand."

Kate raised her head a bit. He looked her in the eyes. They had both been through that. They knew they were not just talking about that friend of hers.

"She'll understand I did that for her own good," Kate said, also acknowledging that Castle may had taken the right decision at the time.

"Right," he said. That's what he had in mind.

"Thank you."

"Always."

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_Reviews are always appreciated! :)_**


	23. Chapter 23

**CHAPTER 23**

* * *

Castle had reluctantly taken a few days _off _to work, but it was the best thing to do. After all, he needed to write once in a while. He could not spend his time helping arrest criminals for free.

Two days. It had been two days since she had spent the night at his place. Two days since they had last seen each other. Kate had decided to leave him alone so that he could get some work done. No way he could write anything when she was with him. But a conversation with Lanie the night before had encouraged her to tell him. Lanie was right, how could she expect to look him in the eyes every day knowing what she knew? The longer she would keep it for herself, the more difficult it would be to tell him. She had already lost sleep over it once and it wouldn't get any better.

"Hey," Kate said.

"Hey," he replied stepping aside to let her in. A smile had appeared on their faces as soon as they had seen each other. "So you're the one who suggested I take a few days off in order to work and when I do, you show up when I'm in the middle of an important scene that could change the direction of the rest of the story," he laughed. Kate found his comment rather ironical. She was about to tell him something that could change the direction of his life. "Are you here as a cop... or as a girlfriend?" he said, leaning forward to kiss her. How he missed her! Two days. That was way too long. How had they managed to stay away from each other for three months a year ago?

"Girlfriend. And... friend. Do you have a minute? There's something I need to tell you."

"Sure, yeah," he said taking her coat. "You're okay? Everything's all right?" Castle asked a little worried as she sat on the couch. She sounded so serious.

"I'm fine," she simply said.

Kate waited for him to join her. She kept her eyes on his hand that she was playing with. Castle smiled, seeing her fiddling with it. She was obviously nervous.

"I don't know if I should tell you but I can't keep that for myself... and we've kept too many secrets from each other in the past," she said looking up at him. Castle was about to intervene but she kept going to prevent him from saying anything. Her decision was made. She was going to tell him. "You know that friend of mine I told you about? The one I had learnt something about and I didn't know whether I should tell her?" Castle just nodded. That was two days ago, he remembered. "Well, I lied. Sort of. I _did_ find something but... it's about you."

Castle realized it could make sense. It didn't surprise him that much. Actually, it would explain her strange behavior that day.

"Does it have to do with my father?"

"Wh... How do you know?"

"Really? You were preoccupied all day long and out of the blue you ask about my father. Why else would you ask me about him?" Kate nodded. She had not been very discrete. "So... what did you find out?" he asked. Castle did not seem to be overly curious.

"Not much to tell the truth. But... we found male DNA on the crime scene that was a 50% match with yours. I lied when I said the match was with a guy who was adopted... You don't have a brother or a son, right? So... it just shows that your father is out there. We can be relieved because he's not a killer. But... he's here!" she said excited, like she wanted to get out to find him.

"Kate..." he said, trying to temper her excitement.

"I mean, it's huge!"

"Kate," he said very softly. "I already knew I had a father. I already knew he was out there. That just reinforces that fact, that's all."

"But he knew the victim, maybe we can track him down from there. Talk to the victim's acquaintances-"

"I don't _need_ to know!" he exclaimed. How hard could it be for her to understand? "I am grateful because thanks to him, I'm alive. But what do I share with this guy besides 50% of my DNA? He's never been a part of my life. He has absolutely no part in me becoming the man I am today."

"But if you met him-"

"Yeah, what if I met him? What would we talk about? I've got nothing in common with that man expect maybe three chromosomes. Or... twenty-three rather, because I believe we've got twenty-three pairs of-"

"Castle," she said to stop his digression. "How can you joke about this?"

"I'm not. You can check it out, we _do_ have 23 pairs of chromosomes."

Of course he was joking. Humor. Making fun of something rather than deal with it. It was easier.

"I don't understand," Kate said, puzzled by his reaction. "When Sophia mentioned your father, you looked interested, like you wanted to know more." Castle looked away. "You've always wanted to know more about everything. You always want to know the _stories_. You're interested in other people's lives. You would look into my mother's case but when it's about you... you shirk. You don't even want to find the truth about your own father?!"

"Maybe I don't want to dig into my life, I don't want to know about my father, so I look into other people's lives to keep my interest focused on something else. Who knows. But-"

"You should be excited. We're talking about your father!" she exclaimed, unable to understand how he could not be excited about the news. He seemed not to care, like it was not important.

"You don't understand, do you?" he asked very calmly. Kate shook her head. How could she? "I am happy as it is. A parent is more than DNA. It's someone who brings up a child, who loves him or her, who cares, who's there no matter what. My mother is that person. She brought me up. She was not perfect all the time but she did everything she could. I am grateful and I love her deeply. I have a daughter whom I'm immensely proud of and whom I love more than anything in the world. And I've got you. You're the best thing that happened to me since Alexis was born. I'm the happiest guy alive, Kate! I'm surrounded by people I love and everything's fine, everything works out for me. What else do I need? Tell me, what more could I ask for?" He stayed quiet for a moment. "I'm not gonna waste time looking for someone who's never been there for me."

"From what you told me, he doesn't even know he's a father," she kept going. She wouldn't let it go. In her mouth, it sounded like a matter of life and death. "Maybe if he knew-"

"And maybe he doesn't want to be a father," he retorted. "Have you thought about that? How great would that be? I come up to him and say 'Hi, I'm your son' and he's like 'My son? I don't have a son, I don't want a son'. Then what? No, Kate, no way I'm doing this." Rejection. He knew the feeling too well. He wouldn't take that chance. "I don't need a father anymore. When I was young, a father could have been nice. Yeah... as Alexis said, to have someone who'd teach me how to play baseball, someone who would take me to the games like your father did with you, someone who'd be there to protect me, to teach me how to fix things... I have no idea what it's like. But now? No, I don't need him anymore," he paused hoping she would understand his decision. "I'm glad you told me. But you were wrong when you said you'd deprive your friend of that choice. I still have it. I know I didn't respect your choice when it came to your mother's case, and I regret it, but please don't make the same mistake I've made. Don't look for him behind my back." They stayed silent for a while. Kate shook her head in disbelief. She could not get over the fact that he was not willing to give it a chance. "We could talk about this for days, we obviously have different opinions on this. Nothing you can say will change my mind," he said getting up.

"You know, people used to say they didn't need a portable phone until they used a cellphone. Now, they can't live without one anymore."

Castle turned around not believing what he had just heard. Was she comparing the need of a father with a need of a cellphone?

"We're talking about a person here, not an object."

"Which is why it should be even more important to you!" she said getting up to join him. Stubborn. That was another demonstration of her stubbornness.

"Kate, we've talked about it and my decision is final," he said walking to his office.

"You're wrong. I'm sorry but you're wrong... because you were right when you said you have no idea what you're missing. Once you'd meet him, you'd know! You would know what it is like to have a father and you'll wonder why you haven't looked for him sooner."

Castle had stopped in his tracks. Looking down, he was softly shaking his head. He eventually turned around and a little smile appeared on his face. Was she being naive or just optimistic?

"There's not always a happy ending, Kate. Maybe that's why I write stories. At least I get to choose the ending I want..."

He let her ponder on his answer while going back to his desk. Going back to writing stories.

# # # # #

She appeared on the doorway of his office a few minutes later. She stood there staring at him. He was typing on his computer without even looking at her.

"You already have, haven't you?" Kate said very softly.

Castle eventually looked up from the screen. She was there, waiting, arms folded.

"What?" he asked, knowing full well what she meant.

"You already know. Unfortunately, it was not what you expected. Am I right?"

You could hear a pin drop. Castle could not look her in the eyes. He had never told anyone. And he never intended to. He kept typing a few more letters on his keyboard. He sighed, closed his laptop and kept avoiding looking her in the eyes while she took a seat in his armchair.

"Rick... you can tell me. Have you found him?"

"I think so. A few weeks ago," he eventually said, leaning back on his chair. "I... haven't told him I was probably his son. I engaged the conversation, we talked... and it was pretty clear he had never been a father, nor ever wanted to," he said eventually making eye contact with her. "You're right. Sophia aroused my curiosity. I started digging. I looked for old friends of my mother who knew her at that time. I got a little closer, one step at a time. But it doesn't matter anymore."

"Why have you never talked about this? What did you never tell me?" she asked, confused.

"What for? It's... personal."

"Personal?! My mother's death was personal and you were there for me every step of the way while I tried to find out who killed her. I could have done the same for you. That's the least I could do."

"It was different, at the time. We weren't really on good terms; at least, not from my point of view. I... I don't need people to feel sorry for me. I have no right to complain. My life is great as it is. I don't have a father, so what? I'm not the only one."

"You have a father," she retorted. And he had met him.

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_Reviews are always appreciated! :)_**


	24. Chapter 24

**CHAPTER 24**

* * *

It had been a week since they had had the discussion about Castle's father. Kate had given up. On that matter, Castle was just as headstrong as Kate could be. Maybe he would change his mind one day and get in touch with his father again. Maybe all he needed was a little more time.

Castle was staying at her place that night. Dinner was over, they were clearing the table.

"How about I take you out tomorrow night?" he asked taking her hand. "There's still that French restaurant I'd like to take you to. I've only heard great things about it since it opened and I haven't had the occasion to go yet." Kate pursed up her lips. She looked sorry. "What?"

"I've already got plans for tomorrow night."

"Oh..." he said disappointed. "Where? With whom? Someone I know? A man or...?"

"Do I detect some jealousy?" she said with a smile.

"No, I... Yes," he admitted. "I would have enjoyed spending some time with my girlfriend on a Saturday evening, that's all. Who do you go out with? 'Cause I'm not really comfortable with you going out with a man, just so you know. Even if it's just a friend. Not that I don't trust you, but... It's a little weird."

Kate was smiling. He didn't need to worry about that.

"It's just an evening between girls. I go to Lanie's."

"Oh, that's... good," he said, relieved. "Can I come?" he asked knowing the answer before Kate shook her head. "No? Too bad. I wish I could hear what you girls talk about when it's just the two of you. Do you talk about... us?"

"Why? Something you don't want her to know?" she asked putting her arms around him.

"You're not giving away too many details, are you?"

"How detailed are you when you talk with your friends, if you have any?" she teased.

"Forget what I've just said, I don't want to know..."

"Don't worry, there are some things I keep just for myself," she said giving him a wink.

"What am I gonna do then? My mother won't be home, Alexis doesn't come home... everybody I know has already got plans," he said all sad.

"No need to find something to do. I have plans for you too."

"Wh... You make plans for me now? Afraid I'd get bored?"

"Isn't it what you just implied?" she asked. "It's a little surprise. I'll send you the address and instructions on your phone."

Castle was intrigued. What could she have in store for him?

"Well, if we can't be together tomorrow evening then maybe we should... make the most out of tonight's date," he said running his finger along her shoulder. He rubbed his nose against hers before kissing her softly.

##########

Castle had received the instructions on his phone as planned. He had reached destination. He took a look around him before checking the number written on the house. It was the right address, somewhere in Brooklyn. He could hear sounds coming from inside.

He eventually rang the doorbell, looking around once again, perplexed. When he saw who opened the door, he checked the address again.

"That's the right place," he said with a smile. He was expecting him.

"Mr Beckett?!" Castle asked. He was the last person he expected to see here.

"Jim."

"No, I'm Rick..." Castle rectified.

"I know. I meant _call me Jim,_" he answered with a smile.

"Of course, right, sorry..." Castle said a little disturbed.

"Come on in," Jim Beckett said stepping aside.

"I didn't know you lived here..." Castle said walking in.

"I don't. The house belonged to my cousin. He passed away two weeks ago."

"I'm sorry, my condolences."

"Thank you. He was sick for a long time, we knew the day would come eventually. Doesn't make it any easier though," he said walking with Castle to the living-room. Or what remained of it. "Katie told me you didn't have plans for tonight and you could give me a hand," he said as Castle discovered the room. He was renovating it. He was laying parquet, the baseboards were missing and the walls needed some paint.

"Huh... well, I've... never done any of that before. I'm not even sure I know how to handle a jigsaw... and that could be dangerous, given how clumsy I can be," he added.

"It's never too late to learn, right? Wanna learn?"

Castle smiled. He understood what Kate was doing. Her father was either a pawn in her plan or he knew what she was up to.

"Actually, I'd love to."

"You've got some old clothes that you don't mind dirtying?"

"Yeah," he said showing the small bag he had brought with him. He had respected Kate's instructions to the letter.

"Good. There's a room on the left, at the end of the corridor where you can change. Get ready. We've got some work to do here," Jim said with a friendly smile.

# # # # #

Jim Beckett had started by explaining to Castle the work that laid ahead of them. Then he had started being more specific. The measurements, the placing, the jigsaw... They had been at it for three hours already when Jim suggested they take a break. Sat on an apple box, they were eating some Chinese food they had ordered while having a casual conversation.

"So, how is it going between you two?" Jim asked.

"Pretty good." Actually that was not true. "Great, actually. You've got a remarkable daughter."

"And she found a remarkable friend in you, Rick. I'm glad you're there for her. I'm glad you were there for her when she was looking into her mother's case. She'd probably be dead by now if not for you."

"I doubt it. She wouldn't listen to me either. She can be incredibly stubborn."

Jim let out of laugh. He had experienced his daughter's headstrong behavior more than once as she was growing up.

"She takes after her mother for that."

"Does she... know how to do all this?" Castle said looking at the room around them.

"I taught her, yes. She liked baseball, cars... She could be a real tomboy sometimes. Paint is what she likes the most though," he explained. Castle couldn't help but try to picture Kate in dungarees, a paintbrush in her hand. "You've got something on your mind," Jim said seeing how Castle was looking at him.

"I... I'm enjoying this, really. But... why are you doing this? Kate asked you to do this?"

Jim put his Chinese take-out box down and leant forward as though he was about to tell Castle a something personal.

"I'm not gonna lie to you, Rick. She did come to me. She told me... you've never had a chance of spending time with your old man. She said you have no idea what's it's like to share some special moments with your father."

"She thinks this will make me change my mind," Castle deduced.

"Don't think for a second I'm doing this reluctantly. I like you. I'm happy to do this with you. And I needed some help anyway," he said. Jim Beckett had a sense of humor too. "It turns out, you and I have something in common. I didn't know who my father was until I was 26. When I finally decided to look for him, I regretted it. It was awkward the first couple of times we met. Then we found something we had in common. Love for baseball! From there onwards, we've had some great times together. And now I regret I have not looked for him earlier."

Castle realized Kate knew what she was talking about when they had had this conversation at his place. _You'll wonder why you haven't looked for him sooner_, she had said_._ Her father had probably shared his story with her.

"He's not who you expected him to be?" Jim asked.

"It's more complicated than that," Castle answered. He cleared his throat and stood up. "How about we start putting those baseboards back?" he said, putting an end to the conversation.

"Fair enough," Jim answered with a smile. He had been there. Pressure was not a way to put your message across.

# # # # #

Castle was so focused on what he was doing that he didn't even notice the knock at the door. Jim went to get it.

"So, how is he doing?"

"Not bad. He's got some unappreciated talents, I'm telling you," Jim Beckett said welcoming the visitor with a hug.

She stood in the doorway of the living-room, looking at him, smiling. Castle was knelt down sawing.

"Wanna take a break?" she asked.

Castle turned around with a start. He would recognize this voice among hundreds.

"Kate? What are you doing here?!" he exclaimed.

"Checking on you," she answered with a smile. "You're still alive, that's good."

"With all my fingers," he said getting up, showing her his hands.

"He almost lost one though," Jim intervened.

"That's... because I just need to get used to handling that saw. You know how clumsy I can be."

"Tell me about it," Kate said in a laugh.

"I've got some boards and tools to put away downstairs, I'll be back in a few minutes," Jim said before leaving them alone.

Castle checked his watch. It wasn't that late.

"I thought you were spending the evening with Lanie."

"I did. But I wanted to see for myself if you could get some work done," she said looking around. Apparently, he could.

"I'm used to working with my hands," he said miming typing on his computer.

Kate let out a laugh. That was not exactly the same manual work. Castle came closer exchanging a look with Kate that was full of gratitude.

"So... that's what it's like?" he asked. Kate nodded gently.

"That's just an insight. You like it?"

"I do. But Kate... it won't change anything."

"Don't say that. Even though he didn't come across as a very welcoming guy the first time you met him, it doesn't mean he won't change his mind about having a son. Just like you, he doesn't know what he passes up yet."

Castle looked at her for a moment. He heeded to stop beating about the bush.

"I went back. A week later. I learnt he had that favorite bar of his where he would go have a drink every week. No exception. So I went. We met again, we talked. I went back the week after that. He wasn't there. I asked the bartender about him... My so-called father died two weeks after the first time I met him."

"I'm so sorry..." Kate said under her breath. She understood a little more why he had told her there was not always an happy ending. This was definitely not what she had hoped for him. She felt stupid of having been so persevering.

"Who knows, maybe it wasn't even him. I didn't do a DNA test to make sure. It's okay," he added with a comforting smile, seeing how sorry she looked.

"Well... if you won't get to spend time with your father... I'd be happy to share mine with you. Maybe he could take you to a game once in a while, give you some more home improvement lessons."

"I'd love to," he said very softly, caressing her cheek.

"Good, 'cause you look pretty sexy handling those tools," she whispered.

Castle chuckled before taking her in his arms, rocking her softly.

"Thank you," he whispered. He was grateful for her efforts. "And... that stays between us."

"Of course, I promise," she said looking him in the eyes.

Jim Beckett cleared his throat as he came back from the basement. Kate released herself from Castle's embrace to look at her father. He was smiling.

"Another pair of hands could be useful to finish this up," he said showing another paintbrush.

"I'll go change," she said with a smile. Castle looked at her questioningly. She had taken some clothes too? "My regular dungarees is hanging in the other room," she explained.

Castle bit his lip. His vision was about to come true. Kate. Dungarees. Paintbrush.

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_Reviews are always appreciated! :)_**


	25. Chapter 25

**CHAPTER 25**

* * *

Another case. Another victim. Beckett and Castle had been called by Lanie to the morgue. But as soon as they walked in she made them stop.

"Stop, hold it!" she yelled.

Castle stopped moving in a split second, as thought he was playing at Red Light, Green Light and exchanged a confused look with Kate. What was wrong? Lanie just pointed up to the ceiling. They both looked up at the same time. Kate rolled her eyes and sighed.

"You've got to be kidding me!" she exclaimed.

Lanie shook her head with a smile.

"Are you... even allowed to hang that... in there?" Castle asked, his eyes still locked on the ceiling. "In a room full of... bodies?" he said looking back at Lanie. "I mean... can't be very hygienic."

"Come on, the tradition is to kiss the other person. And it shouldn't be such a big deal for you two..." she teased.

Castle and Kate looked at each other again. True, they enjoyed kissing each other. _A lot_. But, they were at the precinct. Work was work.

"You don't really have a choice. I'm not telling you anything before you kiss," Lanie added.

"Well, I don't mind," Castle said defending himself. "There's never enough occasion to steal a kiss from her," he said looking at Kate with a smile. "You want the tongue too?" he asked to Lanie.

"Castle!" Kate exclaimed.

"What? Okay, just a quick smooch then," he said. "Come on, nobody's here," he added seeing she was hesitant. Kate gave up. Lanie wouldn't leave them a choice anyway. She reluctantly agreed. As soon as their faces got closer, they couldn't help but smile.

"What the hell!" Esposito exclaimed as he walked in, Castle and Kate locking lips right in front of his face. They startled, turned around in a start. They were totally busted.

"That's... there's..." Castle quickly pointed to the mistletoe hanging over their head. He looked like a kid who was pointing at his brother to denounce him for breaking a vase. "Tradition. You should step away if don't want me you kiss you," he said, getting his lips ready.

"Wow, man, back off!" Esposito exclaimed, rushing away, getting closer to Lanie. "How am I gonna erase that image from my mind now?!" he exclaimed.

"What are you even doing here?" Castle asked Esposito.

"I came down here to see if Lanie got the results of ballistic tests. What are _you_ doing here?" he said looking confused.

"Kissing. I mean, investigating," he rectified. "But Lanie blackmailed us, said she wouldn't give us any info if we didn't respect the tradition of-" he explained.

"Yes, and now that it's done, Lanie, please?" Kate intervened to bring the conversation back to the case. She felt like she was blushing uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry but you'll have to wait for your turn," Lanie said.

"We were there first!" Castle complained.

"I know. But I called Javier first," she said with a smile taking Esposito away to her desk, leaving Castle and Kate waiting.

"You think he believed the whole mistletoe thing?" Kate asked worried Esposito would come to the _right_ conclusion.

"Well, we didn't lie about it. She _did_ blackmail us. Not that I complain about it," he added with a smile.

"Castle, what if-" she stopped seeing Esposito coming back, the report in his hand.

"You're staying underneath?" he asked Castle as he passed him.

"I was waiting for you," Castle answered, ready to kiss him.

Esposito rushed out, a disgusted look on his face. Castle was laughing but he stopped when he saw Lanie's face. You don't mess with her Javier.

"Just kidding. He's all yours," Castle told Lanie.

##########

Esposito was sat at his desk, wondering. He was still thinking about what he had just witnessed in the morgue. He rolled his chair backward to come next to Ryan.

"I've got a mission for you, bro."

"If it's still about helping you find someone to spend Christmas Eve with-" Ryan started.

"No, no, it's not that," he said, looking around. "You're working on security footage, right?"

"Yeah."

"You have told Beckett and Castle about it yet?"

"No... because I haven't found anything interesting yet. Why?"

Esposito looked around once again, as though he was preparing a secret plan of attack. He had something on his mind.

"Here's what you're gonna do."

He shared his plan with Ryan, who seemed perplexed.

"They're not gonna do it."

"Wanna bet?" Esposito asked, confident.

"How much?" Ryan dared him.

"If that works, we can have a few more rounds, so let's start at fifty."

"Fifty? You sure sound confident about this. I'm in," he said screwing up his eyes.

"I'll be watching," Esposito answered pointing to his eyes, then to Ryan.

##########

Later that day, Ryan had finally found an element that was worth sharing with Beckett and Castle. He asked them to come with him in the room nearby, to show them the video on the big screen.

"Wait!" Ryan said as soon as they walked in. He looked up at the ceiling.

"Oh please!" Kate exclaimed, sounding upset.

"I don't remember this being here yesterday," Castle noticed.

"I think someone's been decorating the precinct since. They started popping up everywhere today."

"So if I go down to the morgue, Lanie's will still be in place?" Kate asked.

"I... She has one? In the morgue?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah, I told her it's not very hygienic but... I mean the mistletoe, not the kisses."

Christmas was becoming Castle's favorite time of the year. It was a great way to steal a kiss from his girlfriend once in a while without arising any suspicion. Or so he thought.

Ryan didn't blackmailed them as Lanie had. After all, he wanted to win his bet. Kate was a bit hesitant but tradition prevailed. They shared a quick kiss on the lips. Ryan could not believe his eyes. They had done it. Anyone could have been watching. And someone was. Esposito was nodding in excitement from his desk, smiling. He had just won the bet.

"So, what did you want to show us?" Kate asked as if nothing had happened.

"I... hum... Plate. We managed to get a license plate from the vehicle that left the... crime scene," he said disturbed by Esposito gesturing victory on the other side of the window.

Castle followed Ryan's look only to see Esposito hurrying back to work. It was fishy. Castle realized those two were probably plotting against them.

Esposito was smiling, holding out his hand to Ryan, who was getting out of the room after Castle and Beckett had left. He reluctantly gave him his fifty dollars.

"I'm telling you, they pretend being upset about it but I'm sure they're enjoying this, that's why they do it," Esposito said. "Those two are destined to end up together."

"I just hope they do it before they are in a retirement home... Maybe we should give destiny a push. How about we help them get together?" Ryan suggested.

"My bet is that they are already together."

Ryan looked at them, as they walked into the elevator.

"You know something?"

"No. But I'm determined to find out the truth. Wanna bet again?" Esposito defied him.

"Why not? How about a rematch? 50 bucks?"

##########

Castle and Beckett had started a bet themselves. Who will find out first about them being more than partners? They had set one rule : it was forbidden to give hints that would benefit the person they were betting on. Castle was betting on Esposito. Kate, on Ryan. Sat at her desk, they were discussing the latest developments.

"I think Esposito is on the right track," Castle said screwing up his eyes. "He's getting more suspicious."

"You're saying that just because you're betting on him. And you're betting on him because you know Esposito has walked on us many times when we were having a private talk. Oh, and maybe because he walked on us _kissing_?"

"You think Ryan knows? Please, you saw his face when we kissed."

"Well, the bet is still on!" Kate said with a smile.

Ryan arrived at the same time, overhearing the last bit of their conversation.

"You guys know about the bet, how?" Ryan asked.

"What?" Castle asked, confused. How did _he_ know about the bet?

"That's why!" Ryan exclaimed, as if he had made a breakthrough. "That's why you've been doing all this. You guys make up those little looks and chats between you for Esposito, so we think he's right and wins the bet! And that would explain the kisses under the mistletoe."

"What are you talking about?" Kate asked.

Obviously, they were _not_ talking about the same bet.

"No, no, I get it," Ryan continued, sounding upset. "Esposito told you about the bet and told you he'd shared the money with you. So you help him win. It's only 50 bucks!"

"Wow, hold on a minute. Yeah... we were talking about a bet. A bet between Kate and I. What bet are _you_ talking about?"

Ryan felt quiet for a moment. He realized his mistake.

"So... you don't know about the bet, huh?"

"Well, now we do," Castle said with a smile.

"Are you guys betting on whether Castle and I are... together?"

"Wait a minute. That means you're not faking it?" Ryan deduced.

"Wh..." Kate realized that saying they didn't know about the bet made their looks and little private talks way too suspicious. Needless to say the kisses were not helping. Not only did it raised suspicions, if Ryan kept going, Kate would win the bet. And there was no way he would let that happen.

"We're... friends," Castle said trying to rectify the situation.

"No, no... You guys are more than friends."

"You're right. We're _partners_," he added.

"Esposito and I are partners and we don't exchange lingering looks, little knowing glances as if there was something going on between us that you don't know about."

"The bet. You don't know about our bet. We're talking about you guys behind your backs. Not cool, I know." Ryan stared at Castle, scrutinizing every bit of reaction on his face. There was none. "Castle, tell him. Tell him we didn't know about their bet and we were not helping Esposito win. Oh and tell him that we're not together."

"Actually, I think it's time he knows the truth," he said turning to Ryan, taking a very dramatic tone. "We are romantically involved. Esposito's right. He wins." Castle turned to Kate and moved his lips without making any sound. Just to say _And so do I_. Esposito knew, or at least suspected, that meant Castle was right.

Kate was bewildered. He had told him their secret. She did not know what to say that would not be perceived as an acknowledgement of their relationship.

"Nah... that's what you guys want me to think. I don't believe you."

Ryan's thoughts became all blurred. He did not know _who_ to believe. _What_ to believe. Castle or Beckett? Bet or no bet? Involved or just pretending?

"Alright," Castle said. He turned to Kate and gave her a kiss to prove his point. She was so surprised by his behavior she could not help but instinctively give him a slap on the face to keep their cover.

"Ouch!" Castle exclaimed, taken aback by her gesture.

"Given her reaction, there's no way you guys have already done that before. You are just playing with my head right now."

"Actually we have," Castle said his hand on his cheek. Kate was wondering whether she should knock him out before he said anything more. "Undercover. Remember a few years ago? Thank God you didn't hit me like that at the time or you would have blown our cover."

Kate was aghast. What was he playing at? She took him in another room to have a talk.

"What was that?! What were you thinking? Telling our secret in the open and kissing me in front of the whole precinct? What if Gates had seen that! We're still under probation, as she says."

"Well, she would have seen you hit me and I'm pretty sure she would have enjoyed it. Could have even given you a promotion for that!"

"Wh-"

"Come on, it's the best way to keep our cover. I knew you'd do that. By the way, next time, you don't need to hit _that_ hard," he said rubbing his cheek, opening his mouth to check his jawbone. "It makes a weird sound when I open-"

"Castle!"

"You've seen his face. He doesn't even know what to think anymore," he said. True. Ryan was completely lost. "And... I'm sorry but they'll find out sooner or later. We're just playing with them now but it will come out one day. Gates knows, she's okay with it as long as we keep a low profile-"

"Yeah, totally the opposite of what you've just done."

"Gates knows, Lanie knows. The boy will too," he told her very calmly. "I'm surprised they haven't found out yet. I'm okay with people knowing about us. How about you?" Castle left the question hanging. "Come on, let's stick to our plan."

##########

That evening, Castle and Beckett were waiting for Ryan and Esposito in a room of the precinct. One last detail to work on before they could go home. When the boys walked in, Castle and Beckett made them stop in their tracks. Arms folded, they smiled to each other, then looked at the boys with a mischievous smile.

"You should look above your head. I think something's hanging..." Castle teased.

"This is a payback for playing with us all day. Your turn," Kate said.

"Christmas traditions. We're all so fond of them. We respect them," Castle said solemnly.

"You should too. According to tradition, _any_ two people who meet under a hanging of mistletoe, ought to kiss," Kate explained. "So? We're waiting."

"That was Esposito's idea," Ryan defended himself. "I thought you wouldn't do it."

"Thanks for squealing on me. I thought you were a friend."

"You two are just _friends_?" Castle teased.

"Guys, we're not gonna spend all night here. Do it, now," Kate commanded.

"She's right, you've got work to do. Let's get this over with," Gates said coming from behind. They all looked at her. But the boys didn't move. "Or I'm walking in and kissing you two," she warned them, frowning. They made a decision in a flash. The boys closed their eyes and hesitantly got closer until they felt each other's lips. They stepped back in a split second.

"Good! Now we can give it back to Lanie!" Castle exclaimed doing a high five with Kate. "But we better not tell her why we needed it, or she'll be-"

"Castle," Kate warned him. Gates was here. She didn't need to know about Esposito and Lanie being more than _friends_.

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_Reviews are always appreciated! :)_**


	26. Chapter 26

**CHAPTER 26**

* * *

They were not moving. A little tremor and then nothing at all. In a split second, everything had stopped. They were stuck. Only a slight light was illuminating the elevator.

"No... no, that can't be happening!" Castle exclaimed. "Not again!"

Kate shook her head seeing Castle was already pacing up and down the elevator. She stayed serene as she waited.

"There's no reason to panic," she simply said.

"No reason? People have died in elevators!"

"You're not gonna die," she said rolling her eyes, as she tried to reason with him.

"How do you know?" he asked seriously.

Kate did not answer. There was nothing she could say that would calm him down. After a few minutes, still nothing. Nothing had happened. Kate sighed and realized this could take a little longer than usual. She sat down and leant against the back wall.

"You wanted to say something?" Kate asked seeing his mouth half-open for a second. Castle denied. "Yes you did. What did you want to say?"

"I suggested we stop to have lunch, we didn't and here we are."

"You're saying this is my fault?"

"No," he said on a weird tone. "Not entirely," he added. "You obviously didn't stop the elevator, you just... made us be right here when it happened!" he told her with a forced smile.

"And if you hadn't spent 15 minutes talking about your books with our witness we would have been _out_ of the elevator by the time it has gotten stuck," she retorted. It was just a matter of point of view.

"Right," he said with sarcasm.

"What are you doing?" Kate asked with a sigh. Castle was fiddling with the buttons.

"I'm trying to get us out of here. What are _you_ doing?" he asked turning around to look at her.

"Patiently waiting."

"Yes, that's very productive," he said going back to the push-buttons. "You know, in those circumstances, usually you're always the one who tries to find a way out."

"It's an elevator. It's not like we're being held prisoner in there," Kate said very calmly.

"Definitely feels like it," he grumbled.

"The doors will open sooner or later."

"And we will suffocate sooner or later. Which one will happen first?"

"Don't be ridiculous, we won't lack air," she said rolling her eyes. "Unless you use it all up speaking..." she said under her breath. Castle did not hear her last sentence.

"And you know that how? Ever been stuck in there before? Because I have!" he reminded her.

"Oh, I remember..." she said nodding. Seeing Castle lying the floor of the elevator had been one of the strangest and funniest moments of his history in the precinct.

"Yeah, well... it wasn't pretty, fine. But that was scary!"

"Looks like there's no electricity and those are... electric-powered buttons. Just sayin'..."

"Fine," he said holding up his hands, reluctantly stepping back from the control panel. He was unable to stay still. "Well, the good news is we're not handcuffed together."

"I could fix that," she said showing her handcuffs. "If only there was something I could handcuff you to..."

"Mh sexy! I can see one or two things you could do with me handcuffed."

"Or maybe it would be just so you stay _still_."

Kate sounded upset and Castle could hear it. He was getting on her nerves.

"Okay. Then... I'm gonna be productive and... patiently wait," he said sitting down next to her. He couldn't help but look around, move his legs a little. She leant her head back against the wall, closed her eyes. Castle briefly looked at her. "When you think about it, it's crazy how many times we've already been stuck together in an enclosed space. The giant freezer, the basement with that tiger," he enumerated.

"The trunk of that old car," Kate added, her eyes still closed.

"And the sinking car!"

"Ah, yeah! We're not the luckiest people out there, huh?" Kate chuckled.

"Definitely not," Castle said with a smile. "Good thing we're not claustrophobic."

They patiently waited. Castle tried. He was just waiting. _Patiently_ did not seem to be part of his vocabulary.

"You think we're gonna spend the night here?" he asked concerned.

"No. No, they must be working on it. Should take a few more minutes now."

"Or a few hours..." Kate opened her eyes to look at him. That was very optimistic... "Who knows what's happening out there!" he said feeling her look on him.

"Don't let your imagination get the upper hand. It's fine. It's just a short blackout. What are you doing?" Kate asked seeing Castle taking his coat off and unbuttoning the top of his shirt.

"We are using oxygen and releasing carbon dioxide. It's like global warming but on a smaller scale. It's getting hotter in there."

"Really?" she asked doubting his words. "'Cause I'm cold," she added shivering.

"You're cold? What's wrong with you?" he asked mocking her. But he soon realized that she did not look alright. "You okay?" he asked more seriously, his hand on her forehead. They had a knack for bickering and mocking each other but when one was in trouble, it didn't take long for the other to go back to serious and caring.

"I... I've been feeling a little dizzy. That's all."

"My fault I guess, from pacing up and down that small elevator," he joked. She chuckled. "Here, take my coat," he said putting his coat and arm around her. She put her head on his shoulder and grabbed his hand in hers. "How long have you been feeling dizzy? Don't tell me you've been _driving_ feeling dizzy?! You're gonna have to let me drive one day." She didn't answer. "Seriously, how long have you not been feeling well?"

"This morning when I woke up, I was a little weird. It's probably just the beginning of a bad cold, that's all."

"I can already picture me bringing you coffee and breakfast to bed, taking care of you while you're lying in bed all day-"

"I never missed work for a cold, not gonna start now."

"I know. I remember..." he said started laughing. "Like that time you... couldn't stop sneezing... while interrogating that gang member," in said between laughs.

Kate finally let out a laugh too. She had not been able to end her sentences, Castle had. Every sentence. Every question.

"_She's allergic to morons,_" she said, remembering Castle's comment when the suspect had asked what was her problem.

"He looked at me like he had no idea what I was talking about!"

"_Apparently there's one in the room._"

They shared a good laugh, remembering that day. They had been through horrible moments together but the funny ones were even greater. And probably why they enjoyed each other's presence so much.

"See, we should have stopped to get something to eat. You're hungry," Castle said out of the blue.

"No, I'm not," Kate denied.

"I'm not fluent in stomach language, but that sound it just made tells me you're hungry."

"You too apparently."

"That's why I asked we stop to-"

"I get it," she said to put an end to the conversation.

"You think the boys are worried about us?" Castle asked softly. Kate suddenly lifted her head, realizing they had not thought of using their cellphones. She took it out of her pocket. "What are you doing?"

"We need to call Esposito and Ryan, tell them where we are, maybe they know what's going on."

"I thought you wanted to wait, it's not like we're being held prisoner. There's no reason to panic," he said repeating her comments. Kate remained stony-faced.

"We can at least let them know where we are."

"What are they gonna do? Put on a mission-impossible kind of... mission, get in there by the trapdoor," he said looking up, "and pull us out with a rope? Thanks, but I think I'd rather wait for the doors to open."

"What if we suffocate first?" she asked to make fun of him, reminding him of his own question. Castle thought about it for a second.

"You're right, make the call."

"Beckett?" Esposito asked when he picked up.

"Esposito, you're at the precinct? What's going on?"

Castle gestured her to put the speaker on.

"Yeah the whole building is out of power. Where are you?"

"In the elevator," Kate answered, sounding a little desperate. Esposito felt quiet for a moment. Castle and Beckett couldn't help but share a worried glance. What could that silence mean? "Esposito?"

"Yeah I'm here. They're working on it..."

"You sound very optimistic!" Castle joined the conversation.

"Castle's with you?"

"Where did you think I was?"

"Right, where there's one, there's the other. So you're stuck together in there?" he asked, worried of how this could end.

"We've been stuck together before," Kate reassured him.

"Yeah, she's been stuck with me for four years, she's getting used to it," Castle joked. "You didn't do this, right?" Castle asked seriously.

"No Castle, I'm not that crazy. Beckett, you're okay?"

"I'm doing great, thanks," Castle answered.

"Yes, I'm fine," she answered in her turn.

"Just... try to hold on a few more minutes."

"You're coming?" Castle asked, hopeful.

"What?" Esposito was confused.

"I guess that means no rescue mission, no trapdoor, no rope," Castle told Beckett.

"What's he talking about?" Esposito asked Kate.

"Just a fantasy of his, forget it," Kate replied.

"Wait, what do you mean by _a few more minutes_? Five, thirty or two hours?" Castle asked.

"How do you want him to know that?" Kate asked.

"Well, he could be a little more specific. He's not the one stuck in an elevator, in the dark, without air-"

"Technically you have air otherwise you couldn't-" Esposito tried to explain.

"It was a figure of speech!"

"Stop it, Castle, it's not his fault," Kate said.

"Well it's not mine either!" he exclaimed. "That guy loved my books and asked me about them, so I answered him. Thought it was the least I could do, he helped us with our case."

"Well, it's not mine either," she retorted. "I told you I wasn't hungry when you suggested we stop to have lunch."

"And now you are and you wish you had-"

Meanwhile, Esposito had put the speaker on. _Mum and Dad_ were back to bickering. He was sharing a laugh with Ryan, who took advantage of a second of silence to jump in the conversation.

"For your sake, I hope the power will be back soon. We don't want to find two lifeless bodies in there when the doors open..."

"You put us on speaker?" Kate asked.

"Guys, just try to hold on a little longer."

"How long? We've been stuck in there for an hour! I'm starting to lose patience," Castle exclaimed.

"As if you've had any..." Kate grumbled.

"I have patience, otherwise you'd be-"

"Mr Castle, I suggest you don't threaten one of my police officers. It wouldn't help you rise in my esteem," Captain Gates warned him.

Castle and Beckett looked at each other, flabbergasted.

"The whole precinct is listening?!"

"She was just passing by, she's gone," Ryan explained.

"She's always at the wrong place at the wrong time..." Castle said with a sigh.

"Just like us," Kate added.

"Do you have any idea what it's like? Have you ever been in that situation?" Castle asked the boys.

"No... but once I found myself alone, in the Afghan desert, without food or water for 26 hours," Esposito answered.

Castle couldn't find anything to say.

"Well... said like that... but we're not trained for that!" he defended himself. "I'm just a writer!"

Another twenty minutes had passed. It felt like an eternity. Kate started to think maybe Castle was right. Maybe they were going to spend the night in there.

"I think now is the perfect time to have this question answered: what famous person would you like to be stuck with in an elevator?" Castle asked. Kate did not answer, she was smiling. "Because I know! James Bond, at least we wouldn't been stuck in there for long. He would have found a way out."

"He's a fictional character, you couldn't be stuck with him."

"You and your lack of imagination... Fine then. Daniel Craig, or Sean Connery or Pierce Brosnan. I'm sure they've been trained for that while getting ready for the part. You?"

"There's a few. But one more than the others. And it actually happened to me."

"Who? When?" Castle asked, curious.

"Today."

"You've already been stuck in an elevator today?!"

"So you don't consider yourself a famous person, huh? That's new."

Castle looked confused, like he was trying to put the pieces together.

"_I_'m the famous person you want to be stuck with? So, admit it, you did this on purpose!"

"Castle..."

"I'm joking," he said softly.

"Besides your uncontrollable panicky behavior, I'm actually happy to be stuck here with you," she said putting her head on his shoulder again, readjusting his coat on her shoulders.

"I would have answered _you_ too, but you're not really a famous person, so that doesn't really count. But I'm happy to be stuck in there with you too," he said tightening his grasp around her. "There's another way I could keep your warm, you know," he told her with a smile. "There's no camera in here, is there?" he asked to cover his back. Castle looked around but the elevator was shrouded in darkness. He couldn't see a thing.

"Are you crazy?" she exclaimed lifting her head to look at him.

"Never had a fantasy of doing it in an elevator?" She raised her eyebrows while Castle frowned. "Wait, you've already done it in an elevator?"

"What if the doors suddenly open?"

"Danger makes it more exciting," he said leaning towards her, giving her a soft kiss. She couldn't help but smile.

"I may have a cold, remember?"

"So what?" he said, kissing her in the neck. Kate closed her eyes. She was happy to be stuck in this elevator with him. She took the coat off. It was getting hotter. Both the situation and the elevator. Suddenly, the light came back. "Son of...!" Castle exclaimed.

A little _ding_ rang out before the doors opened. Esposito, Ryan and Gates were all standing in front of the elevator. The sight in front of them was ambiguous. Their coats were lying on the floor, Castle's shirt was half-open. They waited for them to get up and gather their things.

"What have you guys been doing in there?" Esposito asked suspicious, as they walked out.

"Testing global warming theory. Honestly, I'm supporting those scientists 100%. My last doubts vanished today," Castle answered. "Really, we should use bicycles or... the subway to go on crime scenes. All those cars, that's not good for the Earth. Now if you'll excuse me... I need to change. So I... I'm gonna head home," he said putting his coat on. "And I'm gonna take the stairs," he added pointing in their direction.

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_Reviews are always appreciated! :)_**


	27. Chapter 27

**CHAPTER 27**

* * *

Kate looked half-asleep as she was walking towards the kitchen where Castle was making breakfast.

"Morning," he greeted her with a grin on his face.

"Morning," she said dryly.

"You... sound upset. You _look_ upset," he said as she gave him one of her looks. "You _are_ upset. What did I do? If it's because of last night, I was-"

"I dreamt of you."

"Oh... well, I'm... sorry if I inadvertently showed up in your dream. It won't happen again," he said trying to cheer her up. Kate did not answer, nor smiled. She was staring at him as if she was pondering something. "Dreaming of me is not a good thing?" he asked, frowning.

"We were in Paris-" Kate explained.

"Nice!" he exclaimed all excited. She gave him another one of those looks. "Not nice?"

"You asked permission to cheat on me with a Parisian model..." Castle was stunned, eyes wide open. "... And I agreed," she said trying to make sense out of it. She just could not.

"That's weird."

"Yeah, why would I agree with that?" Kate wondered.

"Yeah, and as if a guy would ask permission! That came out terribly wrong," he rectified right away before wincing. He wished he could just shut up sometimes. But he couldn't help it. Things were coming out of his mouth before he could even understand how stupid they were. Kate was bewildered by what she had just heard. She did not know what to make of it. He hadn't changed that much then? She had always been unsecured about his relationships with women but lately, it was getting better. His latest comment was not helping though. _At all_. "That's... not what I meant." Too late, she was already walking back to the bedroom. "Wait, Kate! I... I wasn't talking about me! I would never cheat on you!"

"How would I know, you wouldn't ask permission," she retorted before closing the door of his bedroom right before his face. He waited a few seconds before gently knocking at the door.

"Kate... I'm sorry. I... please, let me in..." He realized there was another way in, from his office. He went around but she closed the door before he could reach it. "Oh come on! You're gonna have to get out sooner or later. Look, what I said was stupid, I know. But it's not the first time you hear me say something stupid or do something stupid. _I'm_ stupid. I... I don't think twice about what I'm gonna say, you know me. Kate..." he pleaded. But he did not get an answer. "Castle, you're an ass," he whispered to himself.

"Yes you are," she replied.

"Well, at least that means you can hear me. That's a good start. So I'll keep talking. You're gonna be so sick of me speaking that you're gonna end up opening that door."

"I'm immunized. Four years, Castle, that I listen to you every day."

"Crap, that's true. But I'll do it anyway. Would be better though if you'd open the door," he said waiting for an answer. "Look, I'm sorry," he repeated. His apology did not seem to make her change her mind. Castle sat down, his back against the door. Kate was sat exactly the same way. Inside. "I'm gonna stay here and wait, as long as it takes. I'm not leaving."

They stayed silent for a while, probably waiting for the other to say something. Both of them had their back leant against the door. The conversation eventually took up again.

"What can I do to prove that I won't hurt you?" Castle asked.

"You already did," she said softly. Her voice was barely audible.

"I... I didn't mean to. You know what? You're right. I did. And I probably will again but it will never be intentional on my part. Ever." Castle waited for an answer, a noise, a word. Anything. But he got nothing. "What can I do to prove that I won't cheat on you?"

"Nothing. That's the problem."

"Well, you can count on Lanie for killing me if I ever do... Trust me, that's pretty dissuasive!" he exclaimed. But his tone soon became serious again. And he sounded more serious than ever. "I never cheated on a woman. Never."

"Never say never," Kate said after a while.

"I _never_ cheated on a woman I was in a relationship with," he repeated. "It'd be so much better if we could talk about this face to-" Castle couldn't finish his sentence. Before he realized what was going on, he was lying on the floor. His legs in his office, the upper part of his body in the bedroom. "Hi," he said looking at Kate who was standing there, looking down at him. She had just opened the door without any warning. "I'm sorry," he said with a puppy face. She kept silent as she walked to get her things. Castle hurried to get back on his feet. "Okay, look... Can we have a conversation about this? Face to face? And not... on each side of the door?"

"To say what?"

"To... talk, Kate," he repeated. "I know it's not always easy and we're not always good at it but let's put this on the table. Once and for all. Whatever _this_ is. What's wrong? Okay what I said was wrong," he said, answering his own question. "... but I wasn't talking about me! I was talking about all those jerks who are stupid enough to cheat on their girlfriend. I told you, I never-"

"... cheated on a woman you were in a relationship with," she mechanically repeated what he had told her.

"You don't believe me," he deduced from her tone.

"I..." she sighed, looked at him for a few seconds before sitting down on the side of the bed. He sat next to her, waiting for her to say what she had on her mind. "I know what you've done for me. I know we've been close friends and that... you probably care about me-"

"Probably?" he asked cutting her off.

"...but I can't help but think back to the time you were walking with bimbos at your arms, when you were flirting with every woman we'd walk by... Part of me believe you have changed, and I trust you. And there's just that other little part of me that can't get passed over who you used to be. I can't help but worry. Even if I want to trust you completely."

Castle nodded gently. He didn't agree with her, but he understood what she was going through.

"Do you think you will ever be able to get rid of that little part of you?"

"I don't know," she answered honestly, looking him in the eyes.

Castle looked away as he realized she would probably never be able to forget his past and take him for who he was now. But what did she know of him, really? There was still a lot of things about him she was completely ignorant of.

"Let me tell you something," he started. "Something I've never told anyone. Not even Alexis. So I'd be grateful if you'd keep that for yourself." Alexis? Kate could not understand what his daughter could have anything to do with this conversation. "My first marriage, Meredith. Alexis's mother?" Kate nodded. She remembered her. "She cheated on me, with the director of the movie she was working on. Yeah, I was cheated on, as weird and incomprehensible as that may sound..." he said.

"And yet you slept with her again."

"I told you: crazy people, amazing sex! Not that _you_'re crazy..." he rectified. "You're probably the exception which proves the rule. You're not crazy and yet the... We're digressing... My point is," he said being serious again, "I _know_ what it feels like. I know how much that hurts and there's no way I'd want to put someone I love through this," he paused, his eyes locked on her. He wanted her to understand he was serious. "_I_ asked for a divorce. Meredith understood my decision and agreed. Again, I know too well what it feels like..."

They looked at each other for a moment. She knew the feeling too and she did not want to go through it again. But strangely, it was something else that had caught her attention.

"Alexis doesn't know?"

"We never told her." Castle shook his head. "She was very young. We decided it was best for her to just tell her we didn't get along anymore. When she grew up, we didn't think it was necessary to get into details. And I didn't want her to have a bad opinion of her mother. Or... at least, _worse_ than the one she already had," he joked. "Also, it's... not something I want to brag about."

"Can I... ask you something?" Kate asked shyly.

"Anything," he said, to show her that he would be open about his past she thought she knew.

"You're second marriage. What happened?"

"That was... my fault." Kate got a little anxious. His fault? So he was not a perfect husband after all. "I had built my own wall. Not to protect myself from getting hurt by other people," he said looking Kate in the eyes. It was not the same kind of wall she had overcame, "... but to protect Alexis from other people. Gina wanted to be part of the family, she'd buy her presents, she'd want to spend time with her but I never really let her in. I was too protective of Alexis. Gina ended up feeling like a stranger. You have to understand, I brought her up on my own," Castle defended himself. "I wanted to be the cool dad, the parent she'd look up to, the one she'd go talk to if she was in trouble... I did not want to have a rival. I didn't want to lose her to somebody else." Castle looked like he was lost in his thoughts for a moment. "I guess it can't go on forever because it feels like I'm losing her lately." Kate gently put her hand on his knee to show him she was feeling sympathy for him. "Anyway..." he said in a sight, going back to the real topic of their conversation. "I'd deserve Lanie's sentence if I would ever cheat on you. Because a man cheating on you is just insane, like _literally_, with something being wrong in his head. I have no reason to cheat on you, Kate," he paused before taking a lighter tone again. "And... you've got a gun. I bet you'd take me down before Lanie could even get the chance."

A little smile eventually appeared on Kate's face. It was contagious. Her smile was so adorable that Castle couldn't help but do the same.

"I probably would," she agreed. Castle's smiled vanished in a second. "Then I would cut your body into little parts and dissolve them with acid."

"You... sound like you've thought about it," he said, clearing his throat.

"That's what I did at the end of my dream. Just before I woke up."

"I... You... Wh-" Castle stammered. "Remind me never to take you to Paris. Rome is nice too. Or... even Moscow. Anything but Paris," he said with a frightened look.

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**Reviews are always appreciated! :)**_


	28. Chapter 28

**CHAPTER 28**

* * *

The sound of the piano was ringing out throughout the loft. Kate was practicing, singing in a low voice to accompany the music. She would give Castle a hard time when they played Guitar-hero but she had lost their latest battle and her forfeit was to learn a piece at the piano that she would have to play in front of the gang : Castle, Esposito and Ryan.

Castle walked out of his office only to see her frowning, looking at the music sheet. She was stubborned, he knew it. This was another illustration of it. She would not get any further before she could get those notes right.

"What are you doing?" Castle asked, looking a little tensed.

"Cooking. You?" she answered back, eyebrows raised. She thought the answer would have been obvious.

"Okay, the question was stupid. What I meant was... would you mind stopping what you're doing for a minute to come with me? There's something I'd like to show you."

Kate hesitated for a while before eventually taking her hands off the piano. A little break was welcome. She couldn't manage to get that sequence right anyway.

"I hope it's not about that stupid video you've been talking about for days," she said, following him to his office. "I told you there is-" she stopped when she saw the gift-wrapped box he was picking up on his desk. "It's not my birthday," she said confused.

"I know," he answered with a nod. He had bought her a present for every of her birthday since they had met. The latest one had been a little more than two months ago.

"Of course you do. It's not Christmas either so... what's the occasion?"

"No special occasion. I just thought you'd like it," he said in a serious tone as he gently held the gift out to her.

She was taken by surprise. She was suspicious too. Was it a trapped box or was it a real gift? If so, was that what it was like to date a rich man: he would buy you presents once in a while for no particular reason?

"What is it?" she asked as she went to take it. Castle held the present back when he heard her question.

"Apparently, you're not accustomed to getting presents," he joked. "So let me explain to you how it works. A gift is a surprise. Therefore you are not supposed to know what is inside the gift-wrapped box before you actually open it and find out by yourself."

Kate stared at him emotionless. Of course she knew that but she was not so keen on surprises. And she was still suspicious. He eventually gave it back to her.

She carefully opened it as he was staring at her. He was anxious to see her reaction. She finally got the answer to her question. She got to see what was inside. She looked up at Castle before she could utter a word. The saying says _It's the thought that counts._ True. In that case, the thought was just as meaningful as the gift himself. She carefully took it out of the box seeing that it was a bit fragile.

"You're giving me your copy?" she asked.

"No," he said as if this would never happen. "I keep mine... mine. But I... I made a few phone calls and I managed to get my hands on one of the last remaining copies... of the Edgewick Academy's literary magazine from December 1983," he paused. "It's yours."

She shook her head a bit, not believing it.

"You changed your mind?" she asked but he kept quiet. "Why... why now?"

Castle took a moment to answer. He leant against the side of his desk, with a tender smile on his face.

"I appreciate what you've done lately. You made a lot of efforts to open up to me. And I know it's not easy for you," he said. Kate looked down as if she was shy. He waited for her to look up at him again before going on. "My turn to let you in. You were curious about this and you have the right to know," he paused. "There are other things in it too. There's a story about that space cowboy, it's pretty cool," he said half-joking. Kate took a moment to look into his eyes. He was sincere. He really wanted to share this with her. "That's it. You can go back to practicing, cooking or... whatever you were doing," he said.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Kate kissed him, rested her forehead against his for a moment before caressing his cheek. They shared a last tender smile before she walked out.

# # # # #

No sound was coming from the living-room. Castle was surprised not to hear the piano. He quietly walked out of his office and saw her on the couch, knees tucked against her chest, tears in her eyes.

"The story about that space cowboy, isn't it? Really got me too. Especially that moment when he's betrayed by his best friend: totally heartbreaking," he said to ease the situation. He wanted to let her in but that did not mean he was totally comfortable with letting her read it. He apprehended her reaction.

"Rick, you're..." she started shaking her head. She was discovering a part of him she had not suspected. "This is-"

"A story," he finished her sentence. "With a character. A _fictional_ character, like Nikki Heat. She's based on you, but she isn't you. It's the same with that boy. That's... not me..." he stuttered, tensed.

"Right... so it's a fictional diary?" she asked reminding him his own words._ It would be like reading a diary._

He may had changed the names, the emotions described in that story had been his. Rejection. Maybe that was what he meant when he explained he did not want to take the chance looking for his father. Loneliness, shyness, struggling to even exist... No one noticing him when he would walk into a room. The total opposite of who he had become since. Everybody would turn their look on him as soon as he'd set a foot in a room. He had his name in newspapers, on the cover of magazines and on huge billboards. He existed.

"You were fourteen... you sounded like a grown-up!" she said stunned.

"And now that I'm a grown-up, I act like a 12-year-old. Maybe I'm Benjamin Button!" he exclaimed in a lightbulb moment. "I'm aging backward... but only in my head."

"Rick, I'm serious... I understand why those kids thanked you."

Meanwhile, Castle had approached and sat next to her on the couch.

"Come on, that's just a story. It doesn't change the world."

"No, but it changed the lives of those kids. And yours too. Your writings, whether it's this story," she said showing the booklet, "or your best-seller novels, they change lives. Whether you're aware of it or not."

"Definitely changed yours. Your life has become a nightmare since you've had to put up with an egotistical writer for four years."

Kate was looking at him, he did not seem to understand. She stayed quiet for a moment. He was right. His novels had changed her life. But more than he could imagine. And it had changed for the better.

"They had changed my life before I even met you," she said looking him in the eyes. Castle bent his head on one side, not understanding what she meant. "My mother was a reading buff," she explained. "We would go to that little book store in our neighborhood on Saturday mornings. My father was more into history novels, but my mother loved mystery novels and classics. I didn't go back there for weeks after she passed away. Then one day, I went back. I couldn't avoid all the places I had been to with her forever. I bought three books. One of those books was written by a novelist named Richard Castle."

He chuckled. He hadn't seen that coming.

"Which one was it?" he asked with curiosity.

"_In a Hail of Bullets_."

"My first novel?"

Kate nodded. She found herself lucky. The first of his books she had come across was the first mystery novel he had written. She had read them all since. In order.

"Rookie detective David McAllister," she remembered the name of the main character. "That sense of justice he carried... I loved his perseverance. He wouldn't let go even when he was hunted down by big names, more powerful people than him. Your books comforted me in my decision to become a cop. I signed up for the Academy a week after I finished _In a Hail of Bullet_." Castle was flabbergasted. He had never suspected he had had an influence in her decision to join the Academy. "So when I say your writings change lives, I know what I'm talking about. They helped me choose a certain path in my life, that I'm very proud of. And those kids... I can totally see why they thanked you and what your story meant to them."

"I... I didn't know..." he said still not believing he had had even a tiny part in her becoming a cop.

"Well, I didn't want to stimulate your already enormous ego."

Castle chuckled before staring at her for a while.

"I guess I was wrong then, when I told Alexis that what I do doesn't matter much..."

"You told her that? Why?"

Castle shook his head as if he wanted her to forget what he had just said. He looked at the booklet which was lying on her knees, before gently taking it. He stared at it for a few seconds.

"I'm not that person anymore."

"So you say. It is well known that people often use humor to get people's attention..." she said. Maybe Castle was still in need for recognition. He needed to be noticed.

"I just... don't want you to look at me any different."

"Would that be a bad thing? I like that side of you."

"That's not me!" he exclaimed, denying the fact that the kid from this story was him. "Anymore," he added. He knew she was right. He knew everything in that story had happened. "But it made me be who I am today. It's my story. Just like your story helped shape who you are today."

"Understood," she nodded. "Can I... have it back, please? After all, it's my copy," she said with a smile.

"That's fair," he said giving it back. She rested her head on his shoulder while leafing through the rest of the booklet.

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_Reviews are always appreciated! :)_**


	29. Chapter 29

**CHAPTER 29**

* * *

The gang was reviewing a case, throwing theories around. The more they tried to make sense out of it, the wilder the theories became. It was late afternoon at the precinct and their investigation was going nowhere.

"Excuse me, I need to take this," Castle said picking up his phone.

Kate couldn't help but watch him walk away as the boys kept theorizing. She couldn't hear a word he was saying. He was too far. But given his face, it couldn't be good news. All of a sudden they heard one word from him.

"_What_?!" Castle exclaimed. "Are you kidding me?"

"Need I remind you that you have some professional obligations, Richard?" Gina was on the phone. And she did not sound happy either.

"That's not the problem. You couldn't at least tell me that earlier?"

"I didn't have all the info until now. And... you have something planned? Because according to your agenda that I'm looking at as we speak, no event of some sort is scheduled for next week."

"That's not the point! I have other things to do."

"Like spending your day at the police station? Tell me Richard, have you even written anything lately?"

"Occasionally, ye-"

"You should take your job a little more seriously, and I mean your _real_ job because let me remind you that you are a _writer_," Gina warned him. "And as such, you have professional obligations, one of which is _promotion_. Whether you like it or not, you're gonna put your butt on that plane or our contract his over. I'm waiting for you at the office to give you your tickets and the details of the events you'll have to attend."

She hung up before he could even answer. Castle stood there for a while, swearing under his breath. He briefly looked at Kate. This time, he didn't have a choice.

"Everything's okay?" Kate asked as he joined them. His answer was a simple forced smile to Kate. She didn't insist. "Go to his office and see if there's anything we missed that could link him to our victim. I know he's involved. Somehow," she ordered the boys.

Kate sat down at her desk and Castle joined her, taking a seat on his reserved chair. He was trying to find a way to tell her. There was no good way. He wasn't happy about it, she wouldn't be either. A simple look from Kate was enough for Castle to understand she was waiting to know what was going on.

"It was Gina. I... I have some promotional work to do," he explained in a sigh.

"Some book signing?"

"Something like that, yeah. Some literary events, book signings and one-to-one interviews."

"No autograph on women's chest, that's all I ask," she joked. Castle did not answer. He was looking away. He seemed desperate. "Okay... what's wrong?" she asked, seeing he wasn't even smiling.

"It's in Paris."

Her smile slowly gave way to a look of despair.

"H-... How long?" she asked, nervously putting her hair behind her ear.

"A week. Paris, then London."

"Wh... When?" she asked, her heart pounding faster and faster.

"I've got a flight tomorrow evening."

"Tomo-... And she tells you _now_? Doesn't she know people have a life besides their job?" Kate said, angry. Coming from her, this comment got Castle to chuckle. She was the last person he thought he would hear that from.

"That's what I told her. She's already mad I didn't go to that fundraiser when we were in the Hamptons, plus I didn't deliver the first chapters in time... If I screw this, I'm done. I'm sorry. I don't have much of a choice here."

"It's not your fault."

They stayed silent, briefly looking at each other several times. They did not know what to say. There was not much to say. At this time tomorrow Castle would be in line to get in a plane that would take him to Paris, away from his girlfriend. For a week.

"I gotta go. I need to stop by the office to get all the papers."

"Hmm, hmm," Kate nodded.

"I call you when I get out to see if you're done here. We talk about this tonight?" he asked getting up.

"Sure," she agreed, giving him a forced smile. She was not upset at him. She was upset about the situation.

"I'm sorry," he added before walking out.

"Me too," she whispered to herself.

##########

Castle stopped by her place in the evening, coming straight from his meeting with Gina. He had made one stop; an Italian restaurant to get some take-away food.

"Thanks. I'm not hungry," Kate said as he walked in and put his bag on the kitchen counter.

"Me neither," he admitted absent-mindedly, his look lost on the bag.

"Got your program for the week?" Kate asked seeing he was holding some papers.

"Yeah..." he answered putting them down next to the bag. "It feels like she's punishing me. I won't have time to do any sightseeing. Wanna come though? To London," he added. "Because there's no way we're staying in Paris together after that dream you told me about."

"You know I can't."

"You can't blame me for attempting to make my girlfriend come with me." They stood there, looking at each other waiting for the other one to say something. Castle eventually broke the silence. "You're gonna be okay?" he eventually asked.

"I told you, I was arresting criminals for a living long before I met you, I can keep doing my job for a week without you around."

"I wasn't talking about your job," he told her gently.

Kate looked like she was trying to maintain a semblance of strength while being about to break down. He opened his arms and she let herself fall into them, gripping his back. She didn't want him to go. At this precise moment, she didn't want to let him go.

"The inconvenient of dating a world-famous novelist, I guess," she said.

"It's a week," he said trying to reassure her. "We've managed to stay away from each other longer than that," he tried. But he knew that it was different this time.

They stayed like this for a while before Kate let him go to look him in the eyes. In the past, she had been responsible for those months without them seeing each other. She could not even remember how she had managed that.

Castle gently put her hair behind her ear, before coming closer to kiss her. One small kiss that reminded him of how much he would miss her the next seven days. Kate kissed him back while he pulled her closer, his hand on her neck. There was nothing more to talk about.

# # # # #

Laid beside her, she had her naked back turned to him. Castle slowly ran his hand from her shoulder to her hip, sucking her shoulder blade. He tightened his grip on her hip before making his way into her. He knew she enjoyed this. He preferred seeing her face when entering her, seeing her mouth opened, her eyes half-closed and her holding her breath for a second. They made love as thought they would never see each other again. Round four would be just as intense as the first one that night.

She turned around and they cuddled up, smiling, kissing. He closed his eyes for a second or two.

"I don't want to sleep. I don't want to even close my eyes."

"You look tired," she said with a smile.

"I don't care," he answered. "Please, keep me awake," he whispered.

"As you wish," she told him, her hand running down his back to grab his buttock she loved so much. She gently moved to go on top of him and straightened up. She ran her fingers through her hair as they kept their eyes locked on each other.

"Remember our first night?" she asked.

His hands slowly ran from her knees to her waist.

"How could I forget?"

The first round had been nothing but sensual. All their moves had been slow, as though it had been in slow-motion. They had taken pleasure in discovering each other's body, inch by inch. The rest of the night had been more intense, more passionate... and much crazier.

Kate was smiling as she took Castle's hands and intertwined her fingers with his. She bent forward resting their hands on each side of Castle's face. They rubbed their noses together, smiling, before locking lips. He slowly pulled away before gently sucking on her bottom lip. They would not sleep that night.

##########

It was the early morning at the precinct. Kate was already there, sat at her desk, staring at that empty chair. It would be a long day. She had woken up alone and had realized she did not like it when that space near her was empty. Whether it was the bed or the chair. With Castle gone, it meant no coffee, no kiss, no lingering look, no bickering...

"Detective Beckett?" someone asked, bringing her back to earth.

"Yes?"

"This is a special delivery," a young man said as he put a cup of coffee on her desk. The same cup of coffee Castle had brought her every morning for the past four years. "And a little something he asked me to give you," he said handing her a tiny envelope. "Have a nice day!" he added with a big smile before walking off.

Kate didn't even get a chance to thank him. He was already gone. She turned her look on that cup of coffee. She couldn't help but smile. She looked around before opening the envelope, where she found an handwritten note.

_Bonjour detective!  
__A day without a morning coffee is just not the same. You really think I would leave without making arrangements? I can't see your adorable smile but I'm sure it's illuminating your beautiful face. Can't wait to see it again. Have a great day!  
__R.C._

She chuckled and shook her head. Her fingers brushed the paper before putting it away in her drawer. Kate took her phone and started typing. An email. To R.C.

_Thank you for the coffee, but it doesn't taste the same without you..._

"Yo!" Esposito exclaimed as he walked in. "Castle didn't leave after all?" he asked sounding surprised.

"What?" Kate asked as she put her phone away.

Esposito just pointed towards the cup of coffee. As much as she wanted to tell him how it had ended up on her desk, as much as she wanted to share how considerate Castle was, she knew she couldn't. He would have read too much into it. Well, he would have deduced the meaning of that gesture. Coffee was more than just caffeine for them. It meant more than a simple _good morning_.

"No, I bought one on my way here," she simply said. A little lie wouldn't hurt. "I guess I've become an addict."

She was becoming an addict. She was slowly realizing she was addicted to a man, rather than a beverage.

##########

Lanie had invited Beckett over for an evening between girls. Kate needed it. She had been preoccupied and distracted the last few days. They had had dinner in her living-room, talking. But Kate still seemed absent.

"Sweetie, this was supposed to cheer you up. But I guess my jovial mood and a glass of wine can't even make you feel any better."

"I'm sorry, Lanie. Thank you but..." Kate was huddled up on the couch.

"It's about Writer Boy, isn't it?" she asked with a look of sympathy. "He cares about you. Stop worrying. I highly doubt he would do anything stupid while away on this trip."

"I know," Kate answered without any hesitation.

Lanie looked surprised by Kate's answer. And by her confidence. She was getting better at trusting him.

"If you're not worried, what's wrong?" Lanie asked gently.

Kate put her glass of wine on the table. She took a pillow in her arms and rested her head on it.

"Josh went away for weeks plenty of times and I didn't mind much. I mean I didn't feel depressed."

Lanie nodded. She remembered that time of Kate's love life.

"You used to say it was a way of keeping a foot outside the door. Just in case."

"It's been three days!" Kate exclaimed as thought she could not understand why she was so affected by Castle's absence. "The thought that there is still as much to go without him..." she sighed. "We've been away from each other for months in the past. I thought I was stronger than that. I feel... vulnerable. What's wrong with me?!" Kate wondered out loud.

"Nothing's wrong with you sweetie," Lanie reassured her with a smile. "You're just very much in love." Kate looked at her, almost frightened that it was so obvious. "It's when people are away that we realize what they mean to us, and how much we care about them," Lanie developed. "Stop running away. You know it. And I bet you haven't even told him once."

Kate sighed. True, she had never told him those three little words.

"It's not that simple, Lanie. Once you say it, you can't take it back."

"Which is why it means so much to the person you say it to," she explained with a soft voice. Lanie was very calm. She was just trying to reassure a friend. There was nothing wrong with her or the way she was feeling. On the contrary, it was good news.

Kate knew Lanie was right. She was in love. She had been struck with a revelation a little more than a month earlier.

"He took me to the Rockefeller Center skating rink back in December. On the same day as I used to go with my parents every year when I was young. He asked me if I'd like to bring that tradition back to life," she paused, looking at Lanie. "That's when I knew. I mean... you can't fake that. You can't do something like that for someone you don't care about, right?" She chuckled. "He's had someone delivering me a cup of coffee every morning this week, with a little note."

"Awww," Lanie did, unable to control her reaction.

"You're right. I don't want to keep a foot outside anymore," she said looking at Lanie, who was delighted to see her friend coming to such a big decision. It had been a long winding road for her to get to that point. "Not if it's Castle inside."

"You should tell him that." Kate was about to protest but Lanie didn't give her the time. "He deserves it. From what you've told me, he's done a lot to show you how much he cares about you. You should do one step towards him."

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_Reviews are always appreciated! :)_**


	30. Chapter 30

**I can't believe it's already chapter 30! And it's not over, I promise. More to come for Kate and Rick.****  
****I just want to thank you for your very nice reviews. I really appreciate you taking the time to read this story.**

**CHAPTER 30**

* * *

Castle felt lucky. After a week of that promotional tour he had been forced to attend, the last event he was supposed to take part in got cancelled. _Thank God_ had been Castle's reaction. He had not thought twice about it. No need to stay another day in London. The city was charming but sightseeing was the last thing in his mind. He had always enjoyed those events in the past. The signings, the people, the compliments, the spotlight, the free drinks... But he missed the precinct. Hell, he even missed the paperwork! At least he'd be with her. He decided to take the first flight to New York City. At 10:40, Castle was sat in his First Class seat. Eight more hours and he would be back to the Big Apple. To Kate.

It was almost 01:00 PM when Castle landed in JFK. He decided to make a quick stop at his place to shower and put some clean clothes on, before rushing to the precinct. No one even knew he was back. Not even Gina.

"Look who's here!" Esposito exclaimed.

"I thought you weren't supposed to be back before tomorrow?" Ryan asked.

"I'm happy to see you too!" Castle joked walking in.

Kate's heartbeat fastened when she heard his voice. She turned round and had to refrain herself from jumping in his arms when she saw he was really back, in the flesh. But given the smile on their respective face, it was obvious they had missed each other. They couldn't look away, they were like magnets, uncontrollably attracted to each other.

"What did you bring for us?" Ryan asked, excited.

"What?" Castle asked, too focused on the beautiful face of hers to listen to the boys. How he had missed her smile!

"You didn't bring us any souvenir?" Esposito asked.

"I was over there for business, not tourism," Castle reminded them.

"I brought you something from my trip to Phoenix when I-," Esposito started.

"Yeah, that... _thing_ I still haven't found any use for."

"You're a writer, I thought you'd have some imagination," he retorted.

"You have no idea how many hours I stayed looking at that metallic piece of... trying to figure out what to make of it," he said leaving a word out not to offend him. "I even tried to-"

"You're back early," Kate ventured, helping him to change subject. She had that little smile on her face, trying as much as she could to not look overly happy to see him. She did not want the boys to see how much she had missed him. And she did not want Castle to see it either.

"Last event got cancelled so I took the first flight home," he said with a smile.

"Not that we're not happy to see you, though a little souvenir would have been _nice_... but we've got some work to do," Ryan said leaving with Esposito, shaking their heads.

"Can you believe it? Not even a card," Esposito grumbled as they walked away.

Castle waited for the boys to disappear behind the doors of the elevator before eventually coming closer to Kate. They had a stupid smile on their face. They couldn't help it.

"No autograph on women's chest," he whispered to Kate. "Just an old man who asked me to sign his... butt," he said with a grimace. "That's the weirdest thing that happened. I swear. How about you? Any revelation when I was gone?" he asked about the case.

She looked at him, confused, uncertain what he was talking about. Kate had had a revelation, but not about the case.

"I..." Kate seemed disoriented. "No," she simply said thinking back of her talk with Lanie.

"I've got a little something for you," he said, excited. "I didn't want to give it to you in front of the boys. It's not much but... I thought of you when I saw this. It can... join the flock living on your desk," he chuckled. "It's fragile, handmade, so take good care of him," he said handing her a baby elephant, the size of her fist. With his pink mouth and a smile in his eyes, he looked like he was laughing.

"Aww... Thank you. He's adorable!" she exclaimed admiring it under all angles.

"Can't be more adorable than me," he said fancying himself.

"You're right," she nodded looking him in the eyes, which took Castle by surprise. "By the way, those coffees... That was very considerate of you."

"And you got the notes right?" Castle asked worried.

"Yes, I did," she said with a big smile, opening the drawer for him to see them. She had kept them. Castle sighed of relief.

"Poor Jimmy, the guy who brought them to you. I texted him every afternoon, well... morning here, to remind him to come to the precinct. I should go and apologize for bothering him that much," he thought.

"He didn't seem to mind."

"How do you mean?" Castle asked, jealous.

"He was smiling, very polite," she explained.

"Maybe I shouldn't have cancelled the one for tomorrow. I would have hidden in the break room to see-"

"He's too young for me, don't worry."

"Okay..." he said with a smile. It felt good to be back. Kate seemed to have something on her mind though. Something was bothering her. He gave her the time she needed to tackle the subject.

"Can... Can Gina do this? Can she send you wherever she wants, whenever she wants?" she asked looking at the gift Castle had brought her.

"Well... technically, I'm bounded by the contract to attend certain events my publisher will choose for me. It's... I told her, though, that I didn't like the way she did it. That it wasn't just about me. That I have a family, and someone who's important to me." Castle paused, clearing his throat. "She knows. About... us," he added.

"What?!"

"She's always been very good at deducing things. Even when we were married. She asked me if that person was _you_. And... I was stunned she had-... I didn't really deny it on the moment. My mistake. Look, she'll keep it to herself. I trust her on this."

"Well, sorry if I don't..." Kate sighed.

"Mr Castle. Glad to see you back," Gates said.

"Really?" Castle frowned as he stood up.

"It's really just an expression," Gates said making Castle's hopes for a better relationship between them vanish.

"That's what I thought," he said knowing she didn't mean it.

"Awww... he's adorable!" Gates exclaimed like a little girl when she saw the baby elephant Kate was holding. Castle and Beckett looked at each other, baffled. "May I?" she asked holding out her hands. "You've got very nice tastes, Mr Castle," she said admiring it.

"Thank you..." he said before looking at Kate, questioningly. What had happened to the Captain during his absence? Kate just shrugged, also surprised by her reaction.

##########

It was the late morning at the precinct. The waking had been a little hard for Castle, especially since he had not gotten a lot of sleep. But he couldn't wait to be back to the precinct. A double dose of coffee would help him stay awake.

Esposito came, a file in his hand, throwing a dirty look at Castle. He was still holding a grudge against him for not bringing any souvenir.

"Yo! We put a BOLO on his car but so far, no luck. And we're still waiting for the confirmation of th-" Esposito stopped when his look landed on something on Kate's desk. "Who's that?"

"Who?" Castle asked looking around.

"That cute little newcomer!" he said picking the baby elephant off her desk. "Welcome to Beckett's jungle."

"Esposito, careful, it's fragile. Don't-" Kate warned him.

"Why, it's some Made-In-China junk or something? Wh-" he stopped and looked up at her. "Where did you get it?" he asked. Kate couldn't help but briefly look at Castle. "_Made in France_," Esposito noticed. "I can't believe it! She gets a present and we don't?"

"I told you I wasn't there for shopping," Castle defended himself.

"But you had time to buy something for Beckett."

"I stumbled upon it. That-"

"I don't buy it," Esposito cut him off before having a lightbulb moment. Suddenly, everything made sense. "That... was you!" he exclaimed pointing at Castle. "The coffees, that was you, right? And that's why you were depressed the whole week," he said turning to Kate.

"Wait, depress-?" Castle was about to ask.

"Esposito, shut it," Kate intervened.

"You... are... _together_!" Esposito exclaimed.

"Together for what?" Ryan asked walking in.

"Hey, bro. Want to know the big news? They are-"

"Shut it," Castle repeated severely Kate's words.

"Okay," Esposito whispered, looking at them.

He slowly put the elephant back on her desk, almost in slow-motion, not leaving sight of Castle.

"What's that?" Ryan asked.

Kate and Castle were looking at each other, in despair. Esposito was not taking his eyes off them as Ryan was making the same deductions. One by one. No need to fight it. They knew. Two more people were aware of their relationship.

"You..." Ryan came to the same conclusion. Detectives. They were in a room full of detectives. "When? How long? You... played with us! That bet, the kisses under the mistletoe... It was all an act!"

It was as though every piece of the puzzle had fallen into place.

"I knew it!" Esposito exclaimed. "So that means I won the bet," he realized. "Prepare the money my friend," he told Ryan.

Kate rolled her eyes and got up.

"I need to go," she said. She did not want to have this conversation.

"Me too," Castle said with a sigh. "I'm gonna go home, take a nap. I haven't closed my eyes once on that plane."

"A nap?" Esposito laughed before nudging Ryan. "Right, buddy," he added giving Castle a wink.

"I'm staying," Kate said as she sat down at her desk again.

"No, you should... go. You need to make up for lost time," he chuckled. Kate gave him one of her looks. It worked on him too. "Sorry..." he whispered. "But seriously guys, that's great news! I wonder what Lanie's gonna say," Esposito added, turning to Ryan, already excited by the thought of surprising her with the news. Castle and Beckett looked briefly at each other, they knew what they both had in mind. Lanie already knew. And they hoped they'd be able to keep their mouth shut. They came closer to the boys.

"Lanie knows," Kate said.

"La-" Esposito started, stunned.

"And we'd appreciate you keeping it to yourself. We don't want to make it public."

"Yet," Castle ended. Kate looked at him. "What? It's gonna have to happen one day or another."

"We need to be discrete, especially here," Kate reminded them.

"No problem, we get it," Ryan said. "Right?" he told Esposito.

"Yeah, yeah, okay..." he promised them. "Just, tell us, when? It's all new right? Around Christmas? Maybe we helped them with that mistletoe," Esposito said to Ryan.

Castle and Beckett shared a smile. They had already been dating for over six months at Christmas.

"Last summer," Castle told them.

"What?" Esposito exclaimed. It resonated in the whole precinct. They all glanced at the room. A few officers had turned around when hearing Esposito. "I thought we were friends..."

"So?" Castle asked.

"Look, can we... talk about this later? And... not here," she said.

"Fine," he said almost upset that he was not in the secret. "Congratulations," he added, sincerely. "I'm happy for you."

"Thank you, so... we're still waiting for the confirmation of...?" she asked, reminding him of why he was there in the first place.

"Hm, I gotta go," Castle told Kate. "See you later?"

"Yeah," she answered with a tender smile. The boys were looking at them, a grin on their face. Who knew what was going through their mind at this moment. Kate watched Castle leave before turning her look back on the boys. They still had that stupid smile on their face.

"What?" she asked, a little coldly.

"So... we can now officially call you Mum and Dad?" Esposito teased.

Kate simply rolled her eyes and went back to her desk.

##########

Kate walked in the building, ready to use her badge to get an answer. She was not here for work, but her position of authority could be useful in those circumstances.

"Hi, what can I do for you?" the woman at the counter asked.

"Hi. I'd like to know where I can find Gina Cowell, she's a publisher."

"Who's asking?"

"Detective Beckett, NYPD," she said, showing her badge.

"26th floor. I'll let her know you're coming."

"Please... don't," Kate said with a lingering look as to make understand she'd better not do it as soon as she had turned her back. "Thank you," he added with a smile before waking to the elevator.

When the doors opened, Kate saw people rushing everywhere, their phones at their ears. She almost got knocked over when she put a foot out of the elevator. She did not think that publishing demanded such a haste. She saw Gina through the glass wall of her office. She was on the phone, gesticulating. She decided to approach her office carefully, but she got noticed when Gina hung up and glanced around, probably looking for her assistant.

"Detective Beckett! To what do I owe the honor of your visit?" Gina exclaimed welcoming her, walking out of her office. "Let me guess, Richard told you I knew about you two," she said, inviting Kate in her office, who let her speak. "Don't worry. I told him already I would keep it to myself. I respect your privacy. But... you should think about making it public. It'd be good for him. A little more publicity, you know. And... honestly, you should prepare for it if it's serious between you. It will come out sooner or later. Not from me, again, I won't make it public."

"I appreciate it. But that's not why I'm here," Kate simply said. Her tone was very calm. She was smiling.

"I see... Listen, sending Richard to Europe was-" she started explaining herself.

"A blessing in disguise," Kate finished her sentence.

"I beg your pardon?" Gina was stunned. She thought Kate was about to make a scene to her.

"That's why I'm here. I wanted to thank you for making Rick go to Europe."

"I... don't understand. Something's wrong between you two?"

"No," Kate said with a smile. "On the contrary," she added. Kate took a few steps in her office, looking at the covers hung to the wall. One of them was the cover of _Frozen Heat_. "At first I was upset. At you. For what you did. Then I realized it had unexpectedly opened my eyes on my relationship with him. It made me realize I couldn't bare being that far away from him. That I couldn't stay that long without seeing him. So... thank you," Kate said, turning round to face Gina. "But..." she added, her smile fading away, "if he ever has to go away again for his job, please have the decency to let him know a little earlier than the day before," she warned her. Kate's tone was a lot less friendly. "A week, a month before... would be better. "

"I understand."

"Good," Kate's smile was back on her face. "Oh and... I was never here," she said bending her head forward to make Gina understand this conversation was to remain between them. Gina nodded. They had an understanding.

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_Reviews are always appreciated! :)_**


	31. Chapter 31

**CHAPTER 31**

* * *

Castle and Beckett were in a bar, somewhere uptown. Working. Investigating. Castle wished they could only take a little break to have a drink. They were on their way out, theorizing as often, when someone called out to him.

"Richard Rodgers! I knew it was you!" a man exclaimed, arms wide open as though he couldn't believe his eyes. "Or should I say Richard _Castle_?" He was tall, had brown hair and was wearing glasses. Rather ordinary. You wouldn't really notice him in a room full of people.

"I'm... sorry, do I know you?" Castle asked. He had met so many people over the years because of his _celebrity_ _status_ that he was often approached by people he didn't recognize. Much to his regret.

"I'm offended... No, I'm not," the man said with a large smile. "Adam Garyld," he said introducing himself but Castle still couldn't place him. His name was familiar though. "Homesick club?" he said turning his head a bit waiting for it to come back to Castle's memory.

"Right! Of course!" Castle exclaimed, stunned to stumble upon him. "Edgewick Academy," he mumbled under his breath. "Wow... it's been a while."

"A very long while, indeed."

"Hm, I'm sorry, this is Detective Kate Beckett," Castle introduced Kate who was standing next to him, excited to meet an old acquaintance of his.

"The inspiration for Nikki Heat! Very nice to meet you," Adam shook her hand.

"How do you do?" Kate greeted him.

Adam saw the look of surprise on Castle's face who, on the moment, couldn't understand how he would know about her.

"Yeah, I've read them all. Every book of yours, from that story in the Academy's magazine to your latest best-seller novel. _Frozen Heat_. See? We were right, you had a future as a writer. Have you had the chance to read it, Detective Beckett? His first story?"

"I have," she said giving Castle a tender smile.

"Then you know what I'm talking about when I say he had a writer hidden inside him."

"I do," she chuckled. "Yes, he had talent, even then."

"How... how about you?" Castle asked. He was smiling but seemed ill-at-ease with the conversation being all about him.

"I teach English literature at Columbia, in front of a hundred students. Can you believe that?"

"Not really, no..." Castle said, dazed. That Adam who was not able to speak in front of five or ten people back in the days was now giving conferences for a hundred students.

"Remember Leroy? He's in Thailand! He's got a company over there and he married a Thai."

"Talk about homesick!" Castle exclaimed. "Sounds like you've all made it..."

"Pretty much, yeah. You're still in contact with the others?"

"Hm, no." Castle seemed a little tense. "I... I'm sorry, but... we were actually here for work," Castle apologized.

"Oh yeah sure, I won't hold you any longer. Here's my number," Adam told him handing a card. "If you wanna have a drink or just talk... Or if you want the numbers of the others, no problem, just give me a call. Okay?"

"Sure, thank you," he said taking the card.

"No... thank _you_," he answered shaking Castle's hand, looking him straight in the eyes. "It was great seeing you again. Detective Beckett, it's been a pleasure."

"The pleasure was mine," she said with a large smile.

"You bet..." Castle whispered under his breath. "Take care," he told Adam before turning around to leave the building. Castle could feel Kate's eyes lingering on him, scrutinizing him. She was already ready to comment. "Not a word," he told her.

"Why?" she asked.

"That's a word."

"Why not?" she insisted.

"That's two words. Already too many," Castle answered speeding up the pace.

"Can I at least ask you _one_ thing?" she said, putting her hand on his arm to make him stop.

"Fine," he sighed as he turned to face her.

"They seem to think highly of you-" Kate started.

"That's not a question," he commented, being eager to change subject.

"It's coming," she simply said. "They seem to think highly of you, they seem to be very grateful for what you've done for them-"

"I haven't done anything!" Kate looked at him knowing full well that was not true. Consciously or not he had done something for them. "I just... wrote a story." She kept staring at him. "We told stories... we talked."

"Hence my question," she finally said. "Why didn't you stay in touch with them?"

Castle shrugged his shoulders. Not having stayed in contact with them didn't seem to bother him at all.

"Time went by, each of us took a different way, we lost touch," he told her, as though it was unimportant. "Adam becomes a teacher and Leroy leaves for Thailand. God knows what the others became. That's life."

"Wait a minute..." A detail was coming back to her mind. "Leroy..." The first name was not so common. "There's one in... _Flowers For Your Grave_. And Adam... _Hell Hath No Fury_. In every book, there's one character named after one of those guys, am I right?" Castle looked away. Sometimes he would forget he was dealing with a detective, for whom every detail was important. "They obviously mattered. So why didn't you-"

Kate could not finish her sentence. He was already gone.

Castle silently walked away and got in the car, taking his place in the passenger seat. He gazed out of the window into the distance. He was thinking. About something. About someone. Kate joined him and stayed silent, staring at him. Waiting. Every time she had mentioned his years at the Academy, she felt like she had touched a raw nerve. _It was not pleasant times_, he had told her.

"What was the name of the boy in the story?" Castle quizzed her.

"The story in the Academy's magazine?"

"Yeah," he said, his hand slightly tapping the handle of the door.

"Terrence Collins."

Castle nodded, a hint of a smile on his face.

"Terrence... My first roommate," he started as though it was memories coming to his mind again after years of oversight. "He had been there a year when I arrived at the Academy. He wasn't very talkative. I wasn't either so we got along very quickly. He took me under his wing. I could say he was my only friend there." Castle swallowed the lump in his throat before going on, but not without some difficulties. The words were hard to get out of his mouth. "One day after class, I go back to our room and he's there lying in bed. He is sleeping, or so I thought," he added in a murmur. "I don't want to bother him so I take a seat at the desk to do some homework. That's when I saw the letter. He had taken his own life. It was the very first corpse I ever saw. I started writing the story the next day, using his name. A sort of... homage if you want. They mattered," he said agreeing with her, never looking at her. "They all had an influence on me so yeah, I used their first name in my books. Just like I had used Terrence's name in my first story. There you go," he said with a sigh. "I didn't stay in touch with them because they reminded me of that time... Not the best memories a fourteen-year-old kid wants to hold on to."

Kate was left speechless. She wanted to say something. She wanted to react, to comfort him but every time she was about to say something, nothing came out. The words seemed to stay stuck somewhere down her throat.

"Does anybody know?" she eventually asked in a very low voice.

"What, you think I buried the body somewhere in the night, not telling anyone? The cops and everybody at the Academy knew about it, of course."

Kate was shaking her head. Her question sounded stupid now.

"I meant... someone like... your mother?"

"We weren't really close, we didn't discuss things much back then, so... no. No, she doesn't know."

"You..." _never told her?_ Once again the words were stuck in her throat. "_They_ know...?"

"They know," he confirmed. "We talked about it, of course. They recognized the name in the story."

"Does..." she cleared her throat, "someone other than the people from the Academy know?"

Castle thoughtfully shook his head. He had never told anyone. Until now.

"You," he said, before eventually making eye contact with her. "And that's more than enough." She was dumbstruck. How had he managed to keep that for himself all this time? "I'll walk," he said opening the door of the car. He needed some air, some space. It took a few seconds for Kate to react.

"Wait!" Kate exclaimed getting out in her turn. She ran to join him, placing herself in his way. "Castle, how did you... Why? Why didn't you tell anyone?" she asked, confused.

"I told _you_."

"Me?! You kept that for yourself for more than twenty years!" she exclaimed. "How... You were fourteen, that's a traumatic event for anybody and even more for a boy of that age and you didn't even tell your mother?!"

"I turned out okay. I didn't become a psychopath or a serial killer," he joked.

"No, just a guy who writes books about murders and deaths!" she retorted.

"What are you saying?"

"What am I saying?" she said, surprised he couldn't read between her lines. He was the king of subtext after all. "I'm saying that you've always been rather secretive when it comes to your childhood, and especially those years at the Academy. I'm saying that it is not difficult to understand why you're fascinated by death-"

"Hello Dr Freud-" Castle said with sarcasm.

"Rick..." she said quieting down.

"I'm okay," he reassured her. "That was over twenty years ago, I got over it. And I'm not fascinated by _death_. I just want to know why! I want to know why some people take their own life, or the life of others," he paused leaving her the time to understand his point. "He never explained why," he added. The letter on the desk of their room was just an apology for doing it but it said nothing about the reason of his act. Castle still knew it by heart. Every word. "He just explained he was sorry for letting some people down, but he didn't say why he did it."

Kate was slowly resigning herself to his answer. No need to insist. Castle turned around and leant against the side of the car hood. Saying it to an _outsider_ had not made it any easier. Kate slowly joined him, standing in front of him.

"I'm sorry. I just... don't understand why you didn't tell anyone."

"So you'd want me to tell this story to everybody I meet?" Castle scoffed. "I didn't tell anyone because I don't want people to look at me the way you're doing right now. That look of pity. I don't want people to be sorry for me. Whether it's about that story, about my father or-"

"Who talks about pity? How about compassion?"

"Look at my life! If people are sorry for me then they can be for every living soul on the planet," he paused looking her in the eyes. "I'm still the same guy, Kate, who's gonna go home, eat some whipped cream straight from the can and crack a joke about the first thing I'll come across. You wanted to know, you asked me, I answered you. That's it. Can we move on?"

"Okay..." she said nodding. "But if you need to talk ab-"

"I know. Thank you." She wanted to come closer, to hug him, or at least to slightly put her hand on his chest as a sign of support and reassurance. "You don't want to do that," he said seeing her slowly coming closer. "People. Lots of them, all around us," he said in a lighter tone.

Kate eventually cracked a smile. Castle could always keep your spirits up under any circumstances. She was getting to know him better through the personal stories he was eventually sharing with her. He started to make sense to her. Even his humor was making sense.

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_Reviews are always appreciated! :)_**


	32. Chapter 32

**CHAPTER 32**

* * *

Castle and Beckett had woken up together but had gone their separate ways after breakfast. They both needed to work. For Castle, that meant writing. He had only managed to stay focused for two hours though, not enough to go very far into his story. He had something else in mind. Something that couldn't wait much longer if he wanted to do it.

"Hi there, my favorite medical examiner!" Castle exclaimed as he walked into the morgue. "Strangely, Perlmutter doesn't even look up," he noticed seeing him gathering his things.

"Because I know this greeting was not addressed to me, Mr Castle. But don't worry, you're not my favorite writer. So we're even," he said putting his coat on.

"You're leaving? Resigning or retiring maybe?" he asked.

"Not yet. I would not do you this honor. My talents are needed, Mr Castle. Do you even know what it feels like?" he added as he walked out.

"Nothing will upset me today, Perlmutter!" he exclaimed before turning to Lanie, who was quietly enjoying their friendly exchange. "How are you doing?" Castle said joyfully.

"What are you doing here?" Lanie asked surprised to see him.

"I'm great, thanks for asking."

"Oh, my deepest apologies Mr Castle. How is your Majesty doing today?" she asked with a sarcastic tone, bowing to welcome him.

"I'm doing very well."

"So, what do you want?" she asked putting a file away in her drawer before walking to the autopsy table.

"Why would I want something, can't I just come down to say hi?" Lanie turned around, emotionless. Castle put down the scissors he was playing with. "Okay, fine. I may be here to ask you something."

"Are you even allowed to walk down here on your own? Where's Kate?"

"I just came here, Kate's somewhere with Esposito for the sake of our investigation and I'm not sure I am _legally_ authorized to be here alone. Though it shouldn't be a problem since I'm part of the family, right?" he said with a seductive gaze.

Lanie couldn't help but smile at his last comment. True, it was hard for all of them to imagine working without Castle around.

"What do you want?" she asked gently.

Castle approached so that he did not have to speak too loud, even though there was no other living soul in the room. The only other people in the morgue were not likely to report their conversation anytime soon...

"You said Kate is a dear friend of yours. How long have you two known each other, exactly?"

"Why are you asking?"

"Anything interesting you can tell me about her early years as a detective?"

"Richard Castle, I'm gonna stop you right here," she warned him holding up her hand. "I'm not gonna help you dig into her past to find some juicy and compromising details you could use to blackmail her."

"Dr Lanie Parish, how dare you? I would never do anything like that," he said sounding shocked of being accused that way. "Okay... maybe I would," he admitted. "But that's not what I'm doing. And... let me remind you that you know a thing or two about blackmailing people," he said remembering how she had retained information about their case just to see them kiss under that mistletoe.

"Maybe I do," she smiled.

"Wait, _is_ there some comprising and juicy details-" his curiosity had just been aroused.

"Go back to the reason you're here."

"Right, so... anything? Someone she was close to when she started, maybe?" he tried again.

"Why do you want to know?"

"You don't trust me?" Lanie didn't answer and just crossed her arms. "Thanks..."

"No offense but you've dug into her past once and... we know what happened."

"Lanie, I swear. It's nothing like that. I can't tell you yet, but... you'll know. I promise, I will tell you. Just... not right now."

Lanie took a good look at Castle. He seemed to tell her the truth on that one.

"There was Royce but..." Kate's mentor when she left the academy had been murdered two years ago. He couldn't be of any help now. "You're looking for a cop?"

"People that knew her when she started as a detective... A colleague, a mentor, someone she helped, I don't know."

"Maybe that girl from her very first case." It caught Castle's attention. That sounded perfect. "I don't remember her name, but I know she keeps sending her a card every New Year. She lives somewhere in the Queens, I think."

"Who is she? What's her connection to the first case she worked on?" Castle asked for details.

"She's the daughter of the victim. Kate told me about her once or twice."

Castle nodded, that was a first step. And a good one.

"Anything else?" he asked.

"Maybe former detective Lewis. You should ask him, he could tell you more."

"Thank you," he said with a smile before heading to the door. "Oh, and... not a word to Kate," he told her, sneaking his head back into the morgue.

"Be careful," Lanie said, a bit worried.

Castle could mean well but it did not mean it would _actually_ end up well.

##########

It was time to go to bed. At her place. Castle was strangely feeling more and more at home and was spending more and more time there. As she was taking her scrunchie off, Castle enjoyed the sight of her in her pajama.

"Speaking of fancy parties, anything planned on Saturday evening?" he said standing behind her.

"No, why? You have something on your mind?" she asked.

"Something on my hands rather. This party with a few other writers and some publishers. I've been asked to attend by the organizers and _commanded_ to go by my publisher," he explained while watching her take the watch off her wrist.

"Good luck with that!" she laughed seeing how _enthusiastic_ he sounded.

"Actually, I was hoping you'd join me. I thought... it could be a little less boring if you were there."

"Well, I'm..." It was her turn to show she was not keen on the idea. "I think it's a little too soon, I mean..."

"Oh, don't worry. It's not because you come with me that people will think we're together. Some guests came with their cousin or sister last year. Don't worry, we won't make it public if that's what you're afraid of. But you know, since I've been said to make your job a little easier... maybe you could help make mine a little easier in return," he said, sensually running his fingers on her shoulder.

"Right, 'cause going to parties and signing books must be exhausting," she said turning to him.

"More than you think. Nothing compare to your job obviously, but it has its downsides. We don't have to stay all night," he added to convince her. "Just an hour or two, the time greet some people, to shake a few hands and then... maybe we can have a party of our own," he said with a mischievous smile. "Please?"

"I'll think about it," she said as she put her hands around him.

"Thank you," he whispered before leaning forward to kiss her.

She gently made him lie on the bed, before straddling him.

"But if I go, you watch your mouth," she warned him.

"Why? Wh-"

"You have the bad habit of saying things you shouldn't and that you quickly regret."

"That's fair."

"No taking my hand. And, as Lanie advised us, no standing too close from each other."

"Okay," he agreed with her conditions. "But, how about right now? I've got plenty of things I want to do with my mouth, besides talking. I want to take more than your hand and... how about we get _very_ close?" he said, his hands on her back, softly pulling her towards him.

##########

Castle was texting when she walked down the stairs of her apartment. He did a double take when he took his eyes off his phone. Once again, she had just left him speechless. She was wearing _the_ dress. The one he had bought her during their two weeks spent in the Hamptons in the summer. It wasn't overly dressy. Just classy. She had a shy smile on her face as she came closer.

"You're... gorgeous."

"Thank you," she said looking down, almost blushing.

He kissed her softly, wanting to take advantage of those last minutes alone with her before having to act as just friends for the rest of the evening.

"Thank you for coming."

"That's the least I can do. And having your muse with you may be beneficial, for your image. "

"Oh, so now I can call you my muse?" he said, with a smile.

"No," she said severely. "Only I can."

"Fair enough. Ready? The driver's waiting outside."

# # # # #

Castle texted again as he went around the car to open the door for her. He took her hand to help her out of the car.

"Oh sorry, no holding hands..." he said, letting it go once she was out.

Kate was a little anxious. It was her turn to get into his world. And it was probably as hard as hers, in a different way though. And maybe just as cruel on certain levels.

Just before walking in, Castle grasped her hand one last time and gave her a tender smile.

"I hope you won't hate me after this," he whispered to her.

She looked at him questioningly, as she followed him into the hall. Was he so different in this environment? Castle stayed quiet and guided her to the right, to the door of a reception room. When he opened the door, lights enlightened Kate's face to the point of her feeling blind for a few seconds. She blinked a few times for her eyes to adjust to the brightness of the room. She was stunned by the presence of the first person she recognized.

"Dad?"

"Hello Katie," he said coming to give her a warm hug.

Kate turned around to ask an explanation to Castle but he was not there anymore. She looked around to see where he was.

"Over here!" she heard his voice.

He was in front of her, on a little improvised stage, a microphone in his hand.

"Good evening everybody and thank you for being here!" he started. "Katherine Beckett, you must be completely lost and left wondering what the hell is going on," he started.

Kate quickly took a look around her. She could recognize every person her eyes landed on.

"I know you hate being in the spotlight so... I just hope you won't hate me after tonight," he said again. She looked up, now understanding what he had meant a minute earlier, before they had walked into the building. "As you may have noticed people in this room are not writers, or journalists... Yeah, a little lie I used to make her come tonight," he explained to the audience. "They are family, friends," he said turning to Esposito, Ryan, Jenny and Lanie, "... colleagues, people you've met and helped throughout your career. Why you ask? Two things tonight: an anniversary and I believe you know which one. Ten years ago today, Kate Beckett became the youngest woman to ever make homicide detective with the NYPD. Sorry Captain Gates, she beats you by six weeks," he said with a smile. He was delighted Kate had surpassed her. "She put herself in the service of this beautiful city and its inhabitants, us, New Yorkers. Yeah, for those of you wondering, she does't go after criminals in that dress. But I've actually seen her arrest one in a dress before! That's who Kate Beckett is: justice doesn't wait."

Her closest friends were nodding in agreement. They knew how far she could go to get justice and what she had sacrificed for her job.

"Also, I thought... Why not kill two birds with one stone? Every year we hold a fundraiser for the Johanna Beckett scholarship, named after Kate's mother. It provides a full ride to a law student who would use his or her legal career to defend those who would normally go overlooked," he explained to the people in the audience, who had already been briefed by Castle himself, one by one, in the two weeks prior to the event. "So I thought, instead of just doing it with big names and healthy pockets, why not also go with people who truly understand what it means to you," he told Kate who was still standing at the back of the room. "There's gonna be a sort of auction later tonight, and there's a box next to the buffet table, so when you grab something to eat or whenever you want you can put a few dollars in there, even a dollar is fine. You don't have to write a big check. But if you've got your checkbook with you and _want_ to write a big check, then feel free to do so! Anyway... Before we start enjoying this little party, there's someone who'd like to say something to you," he said. "You know her, but you may not recognize her. She told me it's been a while since you've seen each other. She's the perfect example of what you've been doing for ten years." He turned to the right side of the stage, with a big grin on his face. "Come on up!" he gestured her to come on stage and gave her a kiss before giving her the microphone.

"Hi... I'm Amanda Beckrer." Kate was bewildered. She would have never recognized this woman had they met in the street. But she recognized the name. How could have she forgotten? "We've sent each other cards for the New Year, every year since I was fifteen. See, when I was fifteen I lost my mother. She had been murdered. Detective Beckett was in charge of the investigation. Later, she told me that it had been her very first case as a homicide detective. I would have never thought so. She walked in that night, she seemed so sure of herself, so determined, confident... She knew what she was doing. She was compassionate too." Kate was listening, not able to look at her or anyone else in the eyes. She nervously put her hair behind her ear. She wanted to go hide in a rabbit hole. "She promised me she would find the person responsible. She did. Thank you, for giving us closure, for allowing us to mourn her, for making it a little easier for us to go on without her. No wonder you're one of New York's finest."

Amanda gave the microphone back to Castle who had been standing aside.

"Thank you, Amanda," Castle said. "Now I'm sure everybody here would like to hear a word from New York's finest? No Captain Gates, I was talking about detective Beckett," he joked. Gates gave him one of her threatening looks. "Sorry..." he whispered, before gesturing Kate to come up on stage.

"I'm gonna kill you, Castle," she said as an opening line, which made the audience laugh.

Castle carefully approached and spoke into the microphone.

"You investigate murders, you don't _commit_ murders, remember?" he said before stepping aside.

"Thank you for coming tonight," she told the numerous friends and old acquaintances standing in the room. She then turned to Castle. "But you're right, I hate being in the spotlight. Especially when I'm just doing my job. Every cop in the city would deserve an evening like this. So... why not dedicate this evening to all the police officers of the city, uniforms and detectives?"

Castle had a tender smile on his face. That was who Kate Beckett was. The others always came first. Castle nodded in agreement and she could read _Okay_ on his lips as he came closer.

"And captains," Castle added, pointing to Gates. "Uniforms, detectives... and captains."

"Have a nice evening everybody," Kate said to finish her short, but already-too-long-for-her, speech.

"Espo, the floor is yours! Take care of music," Castle said.

They walked off the stage planning on greeting the guests. But Kate took Castle aside.

"Just so you know, it would have ben easier to convince me to come by saying that you were taking me to a special screening of the latest John Woo movie."

"I'll keep it in mind for next time."

"And... who's paying for all this?" she asked him.

"For what? Just need to rent the room and have some food. Espo is doing the DJ for free and some volunteered to-"

"Castle! Have you... You paid for this?" she insisted.

"Well... I won't be able to buy that new remote-controlled Star Wars ship this year, it's okay I can wait till next year. And a better model will be out by then, so it's all good," he joked. Kate shook her head, embarrassed. "Hey," he said, his hand under her chin to make her look at him. "You deserve it," he said very gently. How could she resist? Why was he doing all this for her? "Please don't kill me," he pleaded. "What?" he said seeing her staring at him with a strange look.

"If we were home, you'd get a very special treatment from me in sign of gratitude."

He could only imagine what she had in mind. And he was eager to find out.

"Well... they seem to be having fun already, so let's sneak out by the back door-" he suggested.

"Nope... we should stay an hour or two," she said reminding him of his words. "You're gonna have to wait a little for our special party," she added, giving him a wink.

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**Reviews are always appreciated! :)**_


	33. Chapter 33

**CHAPTER 33**

* * *

It was the early evening. She hadn't got another call before 5:00 PM so they were free to spend the rest of the day as they wanted. No work. Just free time. A little walk in the city, talking, laughing... just having a simple good time, together. There was no hand holding. They still had not gone public with their relationship. Kate knew it would have to happen sooner or later. But for now she preferred it to be later.

Suddenly, Castle stopped and looked around. He had not paid attention to where they were going. They had been wandering in the streets with no special destination. And yet, it seemed she had chosen this place on purpose. He seemed intrigued by the surroundings. The place looked familiar. Of course... that park. Those swings. Kate smiled seeing the look of realization on Castle's face, who chuckled as she went to take a seat on a swing. _Her_ swing.

"You remember that place?" she asked gently.

"I remember that place," he nodded.

He also remembered the talk they had had here. When she had told him about her wall, about needing time to tear it down. She had also told him it was precisely here that she had realized she wanted him, more than anything else. And that she was ready to face her feelings.

Castle sat on the swing next to hers. He hadn't come back here since the day she had finally come in contact with him again, after months with no sign from her.

"I've got something for you," she said reaching her pocket. She took a little box out of it.

Castle opened it, briefly looking up at her in the process. He took the object in his hand, turned it around, perplexed.

"Is this an_ Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close_ kind of thing? I'll have to run through New York City to find out what it opens?" he asked messing around with her.

He knew what it was but hearing it from her would make it more real. Because right now, it was hard for him to believe she would do this.

"If this is the way you want to do it, I suggest you start by the front door of my apartment. It will save you some time."

Castle gaped. He was speechless. He had not seen this coming. Not so soon. Not from her.

"You're... you're giving me the key to your apartment?" he asked to make sure.

"I don't want to keep one foot out the door anymore," she simply said looking him in the eyes.

It meant so much to him. To her as well. Especially here, on those swings. Especially when he realized that this time _she_ was making the first step. And a big step. It felt more than a key to open the door of an apartment. A key carried so much meaning. She was letting him in. Both literally and figuratively. Into her apartment. But more importantly, into her life.

"It means a lot to me. Thank you."

It was a very heartfelt thank-you. He was grateful. For her trust, for fighting the obstacles she had had to overcome to get there. In order to be with him.

"Always," she answered reaching out for him to grab his hand. They stayed hand in hand, staring at each other for a minute. He loved hearing this word in her mouth. She wouldn't say it very often but every time she did, it was special. "Happy Valentine's Day," she said with a smile.

"I don't want to ruin the mood, but... do you mind if I ask... why?" Kate looked confused by his question. "I mean I guess I just didn't expect it fr-"

"_From you_. That's what you were about to say?"

"Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate it. This is... huge. More than I would have ever expected. Really. I'm just wondering... why now," he explained.

"I understand," she said with a smile. She had surprised herself too when she had taken her key to the locksmith to make a copy of it. "This week you've spent in Europe was the best thing that could have happened," she said slowly rocking on the swing.

"I... I'm getting mixed, and quite frankly contradictory, signals here. You give me your key and you're happy when I'm away?" he asked frowning.

"I wasn't happy. Actually, three days in and I was depressed. I came here every day that week, after work," she told him, remembering those long minutes she had spent on those swings. "Coffee doesn't taste the same without you. And the rest is just as dull when you're not around. I realized I couldn't make it without you." She stood up and placed herself in front of him. They stared at each other, a smile of wonder on Castle's face. She was truly remarkable. "Honestly, you've got everything already. You can buy anything you want..."

"I couldn't have wished for a better gift." He wasn't just talking about the key. Those words from Kate were worth more than anything she could have offered him. "To tell you the truth, I thought you'd freak out if I gave you mine," he said. Kate chuckled. A few weeks ago, it would have probably been true. "So... you wouldn't?"

"You don't have to give me yours because I gave you mine."

"I know. And I'd probably have to ask my mother first 'cause she lives there too you know," he joked. "I'm... Is it safe to use it?" he asked looking at the key again. "I don't need to fear having a gun pointed at my head because you think it's someone breaking in? After all, you sleep with a gun."

"I think it's a risk worth taking. What do you say, want to inaugurate that key?"

_##########_

Martha was on a treasure hunt. She thought she would start by his office first. Maybe she needed to think bigger, maybe to think about something outside of the apartment. But for now, she was going through his bookshelf. Maybe it was hidden behind one of those hundred books. She had always been curious and what she had noticed the day before had only aroused her curiosity even more. That need to solve the mysteries ran in the family.

"Can I help you?" Castle asked standing on the doorway of his office.

"Richard!" she exclaimed, not expecting him to be back so soon. He had only left for half an hour.

"You're looking for something?" he asked as he put his coat on the armchair.

"Huh... no," she lied. "Just putting some stuff away," she said, putting two books back to their place.

"Didn't we agree that my office would remain _my_ office? That I would tidy things myself, that I would-"

"Sorry," she apologized, holding up her hands. Her eyes set upon his key chain he had just put on the desk. Castle noticed her look on it. He made her understand by a simple gaze that he was intrigued by her behavior and that she better came clean. "Okay... I noticed you had a new key to your key chain and I was trying to find out what it was for," she admitted.

"That's right, I forgot. Mothers notice everything and want to know everything. Wasn't it easier to just ask me?" he said gently.

"I thought it would have been rude."

"But going trough _my_ stuff, in _my_ office, isn't rude?" he wondered.

"You're right. My apologies. I should have asked. So... what is it for?" Martha asked trying to make him spit it out.

"What do you think it is? You think it opens something in my office?" he said looking around. "Maybe it's a new safe where I put a few dollars I want to spare. Or where I put the pages of my new book-"

"That can't be. You haven't written anything for weeks!"

"I have written something!" he exclaimed. "Just not as much as I expected..." he admitted. "Or maybe it's for a storage unit where I hide the bodies of people I kill during the night because you and I both know it's in my nature."

"I get it..." she said, realizing he was making fun of her. "Fine!" she said walking out to the kitchen, pretending she was not interested in knowing the truth anymore.

She went around the counter to make the final adjustments to the cake she had baked.

"It's my Valentine's Day gift," Caste whispered, leaning on the counter.

Martha was stunned, holding out her arms. It had been her first thought but it had felt so big that she had left that explanation out and had gone with something more simple and down-to-earth.

"She... That is fantastic!" she exclaimed with a big smile. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Castle shrugged his shoulders. He hadn't told anyone. It had already been surprising enough for him. He knew it was probably a lot of pressure for Kate and he didn't want to add any more.

"For now, let's keep it to yourself. We haven't told anyone."

"I will, I promise. Congratulations, son! I'm really happy for you two. Looks like it's going very well. Your relation is growing. That's a good thing," she said, gently putting her hands on his cheeks. "Have you given yours to her yet?"

"Well... I thought I should talk to you about it first since... you live here too."

"Oh, I don't mind! She can come here whenever she wants. You know very well she's here at home. She's not a guest anymore."

"Speaking of... guest, are there any that are coming and that I'm not aware? You're putting up a big show. What's the occasion?" he said speaking of the cake, also taking the opportunity to change subject.

"Your daughter is coming home for the weekend. Have you forgotten?"

"Oh no, I haven't! I've been planning that weekend for a week. First, I'm gonna take her to the special screening of _Back to the Future Part I_. A way to... go back to the child inside us," he said all excited. "Thought she's... still... in her childhood," he said having a hard time admitting she was a young woman now. _You too_, Martha thought rolling her eyes. She was about to interrupt him but he went on. "Then we'll probably take a short walk in the park, grab a scrumptious French patisserie at Payard Bakery and the suits are ready for a new confrontation-"

"I wouldn't plan too much if I were you," Martha finally managed to say something.

"Why?" he asked, confused.

"Well... for one, Alexis and I are going to the theater together this afternoon," she said, depriving Castle of his first plan. And given the cake she was working on, the rest of his program was slowly falling through as well.

"Theater? You finally convinced her to go see that Dostoïevski play with you?" he chuckled.

"Movie theater, Richard. Her friends are out of town for the weekend so she asked me to go see _Back to the Future _with her."

"What?!" he exclaimed in a high-pitched voice. "W- wait... she asked _you_? To go see a _sci-fi_ movie?" he asked as though the world was coming to an end. In his mouth, it sounded like Einstein's relativity theory had just been called into question.

"Is that so improbably and inconceivable for you?"

"Mother, please! You don't even know what a light-saber is," he mocked her.

"I know what it is, thanks to your numerous demonstrations. The most recent was no later than two days ago and caused me to think a tornado had traveled through our living-room..."

"Touché," he said. It had been ugly. "But we always go together, just the two of us! Eating popcorn and... Why did she ask _you_? What have I done?" he said looking like a sulky little boy with his head in his hands.

"Well, she didn't say anything. Maybe you can ask her," she told him pointing towards the front door.

"Oh! My little girl is home again," he exclaimed going to meet her. "Like Ulysse coming back home after ten years away from-"

"Dad, it's been a week," she laughed.

"Right... but it has felt like a decade to me," he said hugging her so hard she thought she was suffocating. "So... I heard something _heavy,_" he told her hoping she would catch the reference. He would not beat about the bush. "I hear that you and Gram are going to enjoy the special screening of _Back to the Future_. Without me."

Alexis briefly looked at Martha. She hadn't even had the time to put her things away that he was already tackling the subject.

"That's right. I asked Gram to go with me," she admitted.

Castle was waiting for her to understand by herself what was wrong with the situation. A treachery is how he would describe it.

"I..." he said with a tensed laugh. "Why didn't you ask _me_?"

"Okay..." she said, putting her bag down and coming to the kitchen. "I... thought you'd be busy." Castle looked at her questioningly as she sat on the stool. "That you'd be with Beckett. I mean, she's your girlfriend."

"And you're my daughter," he answered in a split second. "I told her that I don't see you during the week and lately... barely on week-ends so I wanted to stay home this week-end to spend time with you. Just the two of us, like old times. And now you... want to take Gram to... Please!"

"I know what a light saber is," Martha friendly reminded him.

"Oh and what color was Obi-Wan Kenobi's light-saber's blade in _Episode I, The Phantom Menace_?" he quizzed her. He was waiting for an answer from her but she did not have any. "See?" he told Alexis. "If she can't answer that she shouldn't even be _allowed_ to watch a sci-fi movie."

"Then maybe we can go all together, the three of us?" Alexis suggested.

"Well... while you're debating on who's going and who's not, I'm going to get ready," Martha said heading towards the stairs. "Just in case."

Castle was now all serious. Something was definitely off with Alexis.

"Alexis, I'm your father," he said on a serious tone, soon realizing how it sounded. It couldn't be taken seriously given their talk about light-sabers. "I mean... really, I'm your father and I can see when something's on your mind. Have I... done something?" he asked.

"No! No, it's not you..." she sighed. She looked up at her father and saw the worry in his eyes. "Have you already thought about marriage?" she eventually asked.

"Wow, hold on!" he exclaimed. "Alexis, you're... I know you're a grown woman now and you've always been very mature for your age but getting married so young is not a good idea. I've been there, trust me. I mean... it would be a mistake. Not that _you_ are a mistake. You're the best thing that happened from my first marriage, let's be clear. But this is... With whom?" he asked, suddenly realizing he didn't even know she had a boyfriend.

Alexis chuckled when she saw her father panic at the simple idea of losing her to another man.

"I was talking about you, Dad. You think you and Kate will get married?" she asked very gently.

"That's... no. Yes," he rectified. "Maybe. I mean... What... I..." he stuttered. "Okay, wait a minute," he said trying to collect his thoughts. "You can make plans of your own for the summer if that's your question 'cause we're not getting married this year, or in the near future. Okay? That's... We've been dating for less than a year, that's too soon. We have never even talked about it. I mean we talked about marriage but never about _getting_ _married_... together," he specified. "Why are you even asking?" he asked, dazed.

Alexis had only spent a few weeks with her father after she had found out about his new relationship with Kate. Since then, she had been away from home, from her father. She would see him on the weekends but it was different. She felt she was involuntarily drifting away from her father. She missed him and their special moments together. She had not been not around to witness the evolution of his new relationship he shared with Beckett. She feared that her father and Beckett getting married would only add more distance between them.

"Hey..." he said coming closer after she had shared her fears with him. "Nothing's gonna change. Okay? She's not taking your place, she's not replacing you while you're gone. You're my daughter. You'll always come first. You always have," he whispered looking her straight in the eyes.

"Yeah, we've seen how well that worked... Do I need to I remind you that you and Gina divorced because of that?" Alexis said.

"No, I... Wait, you think we divorced because I was putting you first?!" he asked, stunned that it would even cross Alexis's mind. "There was more to it than that. Now, you listen to me very carefully," he said looking her straight in the eyes. "It was _not_ your fault. You put that idea out of your head immediately."

"You don't want to make the same mistake again, Dad."

"It wasn't a mistake," he said dead serious. "Look at me. You'll _always_ come first. And if someone is not happy with that, here's the door," he said pointing towards it. "You understand that?"

Alexis nodded liked a little girl, holding her father's hand.

"Okay..." she whispered, before looking up at him again. "So... you're saying you're free all weekend?"

"Nothing planned. It can be just you and me," he smiled. "And Gram."

"Wanna come with us?" she offered.

"You bet!" he exclaimed walking to get his coat.

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**Reviews are always appreciated! :)**_


	34. Chapter 34

**CHAPTER 34**

* * *

Castle arrived at the precinct, hands in his pocket, casual as usual. They were discussing the latest development of the case in front of the white board when he joined them.

"How did it go?" Kate asked.

"Perfect," Castle answered with a big but somewhat nervous smile.

Castle was back from an one-and-one interview he had done for a newspaper. Beckett was scrutinizing him when she got interrupted by the ringing of her desk phone. Castle took advantage of her being busy to turn to the boys.

"Guys, I need your help. I screwed up."

"You cheated on Beckett?" Esposito asked.

He came closer with a menacing look on his face, making Castle step back. He was threatening Castle as a big brother would to protect his little sister.

"No! No, I would never do that. No, it's... that interview."

"What happened?" Ryan asked.

"We were talking about my upcoming book, the Nikki Heat movie and then out of nowhere she asked me if I was single."

"What did you say?"

"That I wasn't." The boys looked at each other and frowned. They seemed not to understand what the problem was. He had just told the truth. What was wrong with that? "What if... What if the word gets out and some deranged people try to find out who my girlfriend is? Kate told me she's not comfortable about going public with... you know."

"Why did you say that if you knew-"

"You know me, I speak and I..." They nodded. They knew how careless Castle could be when it came to speaking. "I feared that if I said yes, then she'd ask me out and then how could have I said no to her?"

"The same way you said no when she asked you if you were single," Esposito suggested.

"The thing is, I don't want people to follow me around to see who I'm dating. It has already happened in the past. What if I call her?" he thought out loud. "Tell her that... actually I _am_ single. But then she could think I'm calling to ask her out..." Castle was speculating by himself.

The boys shook their head.

"Not a good idea."

"Go talk to Beckett about this."

Castle chuckled before realizing they were serious. He did not want to go talk to her. Not about this. But he also knew that trying to fix the situation on his own could only make it worse. He cautiously approached her desk as she hung up the phone.

"That was Lanie. We need to go back interrogate Erik Lammer. The DNA found under the fingernails of the victim was his. He lied to us about not knowing her. He screwed up!" she said putting her coat on.

"And he's not the only one today..." Castle whispered under his breath when he followed her to the elevator.

##########

Castle was starring at the office. Breathing in, breathing out. He had had the talk with Kate. She knew he had screwed up. Though she was not happy about it, she had forgiven him for this mistake. But she had raised an interesting and delicate question: how will Gates react? If their relationship was made public, everybody at the precinct could know. Whether they kept low profile or not would not matter anymore. Captain Gates would probably not be very happy about it as it could lead to other police officers dating.

"Wish me luck," he said before heading towards Gates's office.

"I'm not sure it's gonna help you," Kate said.

Castle settled down in the uncomfortable chair. Sometimes he thought she had chosen that chair on purpose, to destabilize her interlocutor. She was all ears and had her eyes locked on him. He had requested a few minutes of her time. It better be important. The feeling of being in the principal's office was overwhelming. Castle cleared his throat before jumping in.

"Our relationship-" he started.

"... hasn't always been very good. I grant you that but I'm sure it can only improve," she finished his sentence. "Maybe one day we'll even get along. Who knows..."

"I... Actually I was talking about Kate and I. I mean, detective Beckett and I," he rectified, not wanting to sound too personal.

"Oh..." Gates did, realizing her mistake.

"That deal we had about keeping low profile to be allowed to keep working together? Won't really matter in a couple of days. Our relationship, Beckett and I," he made it clear again, "may become public."

"You're getting married?" she frowned.

"What? No! No... we're... not there... yet," Castle answered, unsettled. Why was everybody asking him about marriage? "No, it's... journalists," he chuckled. "You know how they are. So if it's in the press, then people..." he said looking around the precinct, "may know. And if they know... whether we keep low profile or not won't really matter. But we'll keep low profile, that doesn't mean we're gonna start making out in the middle of..." Castle realized it was time to stop talking.

"What happened?" she asked with a strangely calm voice.

"Journalists!" he laughed, tensed. He knew it was his fault. To her eyes, it wouldn't be good. She already didn't appreciate him much but with this, it could only be worse. "Okay... I let slip that I was not single in the middle of an interview. So when it gets out, some other _so-called_ journalists may try to dig into that," he admitted.

"Mr Castle..." she sighed, shaking her head.

"My point is..." he paused. Facing her, he realized they didn't have much of a choice. "She didn't do anything wrong," he said looking at Kate through the window of her office.

He was sorry, remorseful, for putting Kate in that position. Soon she would be confronted to his way of life. She had been spared in the past but this time, she couldn't avoid it anymore.

"No, _you_ did."

"Right..." he agreed looking back at Gates. "So, if... this deal can't be upheld, don't fire detective Beckett. I'll... I guess I'll have to..." It was hard for him to say it. He absolutely did not want to leave. "If I have to leave to be able to stay with her then I will. But is there... anything else we could do? Any other option...?" he pleaded.

Gates was surprised to see that Castle had taken the blame so easily and that he was not trying to dodge his responsibilities in that crisis. Her look landed on a framed picture on her desk. She knew what Castle and Beckett were going through. As a matter of fact, if her captain hadn't been clement with her in the past, she would not have a family of her own now.

"Mr Castle," she said getting up, walking around the desk to join him. "When is this interview supposed to be released?"

"I... Tomorrow," he said looking up at her. "I called the journalist to make an arrangement but she told me it was too late. It was already being edited and about to be printed."

"Alright," she said taking a minute to think about it. "If it goes any further, if it's made public for you and detective Beckett and if I see that many people around here know about you, I'll make everything clear with my employees. _You _are _not_ a police officer_._"

"Their contract says _co-workers_, it doesn't-"

"You're not a co-worker. A worker is someone who gets paid for his work. You don't get paid," she told him looking him straight in the eyes. "You complained multiple times about this but now it could be an advantage for you."

She was suspiciously trying to be subtle but Castle was not sure where she was getting at.

"Are you... I'm sorry, Sir, are you... trying to say that you would... be on our side?"

"Keep it professional. Maybe if they see that you and detective Beckett are not fooling around, you're not flirting here, they may understand that you respect the rules. That you are here for work and nothing else. Then maybe I won't have to intervene."

Castle walked out of her office, thunderstruck. Almost literally. He was walking as though he had just been struck by lightning and had forgotten where he was and who he was.

"Have you noticed anything different about her?" he asked to Kate. She just raised her eyebrows. Castle looked towards Gates's office again. "Maybe it's a clone and it's got its own mind. It's capable of thinking and making decisions... I knew science would get that far one day..."

"Castle?" she said trying to bring him back from his futuristic theories. "What happened?"

"She's... she's okay with it," he said turning back to Kate.

"_Okay_?" she repeated, skeptical. Castle reported her words, what she would do, what they had agreed on. "Maybe it's an alien that took her skin, you know, like in _Men in black_ or-"

"Yeah, something like that," he agreed as they were both looking in her direction. It could not have been Gates in that office, talking to Castle as nicely as she had, offering them her help. "Kate..." he said more seriously. "I'll do everything I can to protect you."

"I've been interviewed by journalists before. It's okay. I think I'll manage-"

"It's different. I know you're strong, but it's different. Trust me," he said looking her into her eyes.

"How do you manage the spotlight?" she asked gently.

After all, he'd been famous for decades and had had journalists and fans following him around, asking for an interview or an autograph for years. He seemed to handle it pretty well.

"You read my story," he said very seriously. "I sought it. I needed people to notice me, to talk about me. It has never been an inconvenience for me. Just for my family, my friends, who never asked for it. That's why I try to protect them from it. I'll do the same with you."

##########

It was becoming an habit. A bat habit. It was the second time in a just a few weeks that she saw novelist Richard Castle rush into the building without even addressing her a word or a look. Instead, he headed directly to the elevator. He was so worked up that he had to push three times on that button for it to light up. 26th floor.

Castle bumped into a man as he walked out of the elevator but didn't even take the time to apologize. He had one and only target in sight.

"I thought I had your word!" he exclaimed bursting into her office.

"Rick, do you mind? We're having-"

"I'm sorry Vanessa," Castle said turning to the assistant. "You're gonna have to come back in a few minutes."

"Uh... Sure, Mr Castle," she said gathering her papers in a hurry before walking off.

She had never seen him that angry and she did not want to see more of it. Castle didn't leave sight of Gina, who was staring at him. She had seen him that angry in the past and she knew what she could expect. Nothing good.

"You said you wouldn't make it public!" he said angrily looking daggers at her.

"Wait, I didn't."

"Really? Then why was there a dozen journalists waiting for Kate in front of her building this morning?!" Castle yelled.

"I don't know but I didn't say anything. Let me remind you that I'm not the only one who knows about you two," she defended herself.

"The people who know about us would never do that behind our back," he retorted.

"But _I_ would?"

"Oh, please! You wanted it to be public. More publicity, more sells! You've done it in the past. You've done it with me, you've done it with others. I was foolish to trust you on this. Why are you even doing this? Is that why you sent me to Europe at the last minute? You're doing all this to break us up? You want to test our relationship? Well guess what, you failed. It was a good thing."

"Oh, I know," she retorted. _She's crazy in love with you_, she thought to herself.

"What?"

Gina remembered her conversation with Kate. Now that they had been apart for a week they were probably stronger than ever.

"Maybe it's because of your interview in-"

"Oh, now it's my fault? The interview was published this morning! Just a few hours later, paparazzi were already waiting for her. That can't be. I didn't even mentioned her!"

"You said you weren't single, that's enough. You know how it works. If it hadn't been today, it would have been in a few days. Maybe there was a leak among the staff working for that paper."

"This could jeopardize her career and my consulting with the precinct. Do you understand that?"

"I told you and Kate I wouldn't make it public and I didn't!" she raised her voice.

"Wh-... What did you just say?" he said caught off-guard.

"I told you I wouldn't make it public. I didn't," she repeated.

"No, no... you said 'I told you _and_ Kate'. You talked to her?" he asked coming closer.

"You know what, you should talk to her," she said going back to her papers.

"Why? You went to talk to her?" Castle insisted, almost threatening her.

"No, she came here!" Gina shouted, exasperated, tired of having to take the blame. Castle sighed and rolled his eyes, understanding the possible repercussion of her visit. "That's right. She doesn't know how it works."

Castle walked up and down her office. He knew it would have happened eventually. There was no way around it. But he thought they still had a few days in front of them to prepare themselves. Instead, it had hit them abruptly.

"Why? What was she doing here?" he asked, quieting down.

"I was not supposed to tell you she came in the first place, so I won't discuss the content of our conversation. Ask her, if you want to know more."

"I'm sorry," he said now on a calm tone.

"Apologies accepted. Rick, I know you. I know how far you can go when it comes to protecting people you love. I may have gone behind your back in the past but never on private matters. And you know that."

"You're right. I'm sorry," he apologized again.

His anger had been unfairly directed towards Gina. She was an easy target.

"How is she doing?" she asked, sounding sincerely concerned.

"She's... she's okay. She's the strongest woman I've ever met. She's... gonna be find. I just wished I could have kept her away from this a little longer, that's all."

##########

His fear was justified. She was standing there, a gun in her hands, pointed towards the door. And Castle.

"It's just me!" he exclaimed, holding up his hands. "I knew it was a bad idea."

"I'm sorry, I'm protecting myself," Kate said lowering her gun.

"I can see that! I guess I'll have to wear my vest every time I use this key..."

"Wouldn't be useful. I'd aim at the head."

"Very reassuring..." he said lowering his hands.

"I never gave my key to anyone before so it's gonna take some time to get used to it. And with these paparazzi outside..." she sighed. "They're still out there?" she asked taking a peek out the window.

"I don't know, I used the back door," he said, his heartbeat slowly going back to its normal pace.

"Where were you?" she asked, concerned. "You were supposed to be there half an hour ago."

"I stopped on my way here. I made a scene at Gina's office thinking she had made it public. Except... she didn't. But maybe you did," he said not beating about the bush.

"I... Why would I do that? You know I'm-"

"I didn't say you did it intentionally," he explained.

"What are you talking about?"

"You went to see Gina. Don't... pretend. She told me."

"What did she... tell you, exactly?" Kate asked, worried Gina had shared her personal revelation with Castle.

Though she had told Castle face to face what she had been feeling while he was away, he did not need to know she had shared this with Gina. And that she had thanked her.

"Just that you came to see her. Why? You've secretly written a manuscript and wanted to be published?" Castle asked, as he sat down next to her on the couch.

"I just wanted her to know I didn't like what she did."

"Kate..." he sighed. "I told you. She knows I wasn't happy with the way she handled this."

"I wanted her to know I wasn't happy about it either," she answered back.

"Kate, you need to be careful. You've seen what happened with me. Rumors. It all starts with rumors. That's all they need. The fact that our relationship went public may have nothing to do with my interview. It would have eventually..." he admitted. "But maybe someone from the office saw you talking to Gina. And it was enough for rumors to start."

"So... my every move are being watched now?" she worried.

"Just for a few days or weeks at the most. Then they'll have another target to hunt. Other people they'll want to know details about their personal life."

"I'm sorry," she said sounding sincere. "I didn't know..."

"It's okay. You know what? Screw it. Now it's public so let's look at the bright side," Castle said pouring some wine in their glasses.

"The bright side?" Kate asked, perplexed.

"Yeah. Now that it's public, I'll be able to hold your hand as we're walking in the streets, steal a little kiss, caress your cheek, brush your hair behind your ear," he said joining gesture to words. "I can take you to any restaurant in the city without the fear of being recognized by journalists or people we know. No need to look over our shoulder anymore or make sure we don't stand too close... I like what we have but honestly, I miss those little things," he admitted. Those little moments where he could show his affection towards her. Those little things that they couldn't do for fear of being caught. "And really? What are you afraid of? They'll say you're the best detective in the city, that you are... intelligent, smart, beautiful. You don't want people to know that about you? I know it, you don't want everyone to know?" he said with a tender smile, handing her a glass.

"We can drink to that then," she suggested.

"To freedom of kissing in public! But... not in the precinct," he added before clinking glasses.

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_Reviews are always appreciated! :)_**


	35. Chapter 35

**CHAPTER 35**

* * *

Castle and Beckett were standing a little away, looking at the pack. They were all waiting in front of her building. It seemed they wouldn't leave before getting what they wanted.

"Maybe my neighbors will get tired of them... and will help us kick them out," Kate said.

"There's always the back door," Castle suggested.

"Nope..." Castle looked at her, pensive. Was she ready to face them, to stop hiding away? Was she eager to get this done so that it would be over, once and for all? "It's being repaired. Someone tried to break in," she explained.

"Are you kidding me?!" Castle exclaimed.

"One option left..." she sighed looking at them again.

Another group was waiting in front of Castle's building. Beating a treat was not a option.

"Fine... But you stay close to me. Okay?" he told her.

"Remind me to take my vest with me next time I come home..." she joked. It sounded like going home was getting more dangerous than the job itself. "What? Better take it with a smile, don't you think?"

They walked towards the building. Determined, they looked like two fighters ready to throw punches. Detected, they had just been noticed and suddenly they all turned their voice recorders and cameras towards them, snapping pictures as they came closer. About fifteen _journalists_ asking questions you couldn't even hear clearly. All Castle and Beckett could hear were bits and pieces as they were trying to make their way through the reporters. _How long... moved in... his books... marriage... sleeping with..._

Castle suddenly turned around in a flash, letting Kate's hand go. Given the look on his face, he had heard more than just bits of a question. He had heard it all and hadn't liked it. At all. Castle threateningly walked to a young man holding a smartphone as a recorder, who instinctively stepped back as Castle approached just inches away.

"What did you just say? What did you ask?" Castle questioned him, with a glower. "Repeat," he insisted. Had he heard it right?

"I asked... Are you getting money from his books? Is that why you're sleeping with him?" the young man said in an insolent way, almost defying him. He didn't seem scared. Yet.

Castle had his fist ready. Kate approached, softly putting her hand on his arm.

"Castle..." she whispered trying to reason him.

A lot of people were watching and listening. One wrong word, one wrong gesture from him and his image could suffer from it. But he didn't listen to her. Actually, he didn't even hear her.

"If I hear one more word coming out of your mouth," he started, insisting on every word, "... if I see you again anywhere near me or her, I will make sure you can never write anything ever again, whether it's an article or just your shopping list," he said his eyes locked into his, before quickly looking at his hand that was holding the phone. This hand would never be able to move again. That was his message. And maybe not just the hand... "Have I made myself clear?" It wasn't so much the tone that was scary but the look in his eyes, like an itchy finger on a trigger, ready to pull at any moment. He didn't answer and Castle could see his hand starting to shake. "That's right, not a word. For your sake." Castle came even closer. "If there weren't as many witnesses, I would have beaten the crap out of you," he whispered in his ear, before taking a step back and giving him a smile that quickly faded to anger again.

The man slowly put his phone away, avoiding looking at Castle in the eyes again. Lesson learned.

"Castle..." Kate whispered again, pulling him softly away from this guy.

You better not mess with him. Especially when it came to people he loved. A paparazzi had learnt it the hard way back when Alexis was still a little girl.

"Mr Castle, you used to be okay with your life being exposed in newspapers and magazines-" a woman asked, bringing him back to his senses.

True, he had been happy to see his picture on the list of the most handsome bachelors of the city and he didn't mind appearing on page six once in a while.

"Guess what, people change," he said sharply before throwing a last menacing look to the young reporter as he walked to the building, holding Kate's hand again.

##########

Kate, Castle, Martha, Ryan and Esposito were all sat next to each other around the table placed in Castle's living-room. It was poker night and Ryan needed to make a decision. Was he in or out? Martha and Esposito were both out already.

"Careful, they're good when it comes to lying... Remember they lied to us for months about being together," Esposito warned him, giving Castle and Beckett a sidelong glance.

"We didn't lie. You never asked," Kate defended herself.

"I'm sorry. I should say it was a lie by omission then," Esposito said.

Castle came closer to Kate, speaking softly, almost leaning his head on her shoulder.

"Don't bother. They're just mad about not having been in the loop."

"Hey, that's a cheap way of trying to take a look at my cards," Kate said quickly putting her cards on the table.

"That's not wh-... I didn't look at them!" Castle exclaimed taking back his normal sitting position. "Okay, Ryan? What's your call?"

He took a moment to look at them in the eyes and knew better than to compete against them. Especially when they seemed to be more confident than ever.

"Fold," he said sighing, putting his cards on the table.

Just like a few months ago, Kate and Castle were the last two remaining players. They shared a playful smile.

"Let's be clear: you play for money this time?" Martha asked.

They both looked at her before looking at each other. Right, the Hamptons. In the end, their bet had involved ice cubes...

"Why? What did they play for last time? And when was that? Where?" Esposito asked.

"Let's just say it was a little more _personal_... than money. More... _intimate_," Martha told Esposito, her hand on his forearm.

Castle looked at his mother, clearing his throat trying to get a message across. Apparently he was not the only one in the family to have a problem with knowing when to stop talking.

"When was that?" Ryan asked.

"In the Hamptons, last summer," Martha went on. "It was also the two of them in the end. It was not a good game for Alexis and I. We soon had to fold too so don't be disappointed. They could be professionals, really. We don't stand a chance against them."

"Wait, wait, wait... Beckett? You went to the Hamptons with Castle?!" Esposito asked, stunned.

Now he knew what she had been doing for the two weeks following their suspension and why she was unreachable.

"Maybe they've already moved in together and we don't know," Ryan added, looking at Castle and Beckett with a suspicious look.

"They're engaged," Esposito said taking it even further.

"She's pregnant," Ryan went on.

"Guys, enough!" Castle said sharply seeing Kate was more and more ill-at-ease. She was not comfortable with being in the spotlight, and even less when it was related to her personal life. "And you wonder why we didn't tell you? No, no, _you_ listen," Castle said seeing Esposito was about to add something. "First of all, you didn't tell us either when you started dating with Lanie. Now we've already had to put up with some journalists in the last couple days, waiting for us in front of our apartments and who are trying to nose about our relationship, and that's hard enough. I'm used to it. Kate is not. Right now, we could use some support from our _friends_. Not some more speculations and rumors," he lectured them. "The decision to say what, when, to whom is _ours_. Right, mother? And I'm not just talking about the intimate bet you just mentioned," he told her looking her straight in the eyes. He was also talking about the key, and how she had tried to find out about it. "We're gonna say _what_ we want, _when_ we want. There are things we'll never share. Just get used to it."

Kate was surprised. Martha was too. Castle had always been boasting and joking about his past relationships, sometimes he could even look like he was taking it lightly. But with Kate, he had always been protective. Ever since they had started dating. And even before. Protective of what they had, protective of her. This relationship was probably more important to him than any others he had had in the past.

"Castle, let it go. They just wanted to mess around with us," Kate said gently as she put her hand on his forearm.

"No, no I'm not letting it go. We've already got enough pressure lately, no need to add more."

And with the incident of the night before, no surprise he would get worked up that easily.

"I'm sorry guys," Esposito said in a low voice.

"Let's be clear. We're together. Now you can't say we haven't told you..." Castle added to make fun of the boys. "We haven't moved in together. We're not engaged. She's not pregnant." Castle suddenly realized he had no doubt about the first affirmations. The last one though was just a guess. Only _she_ could know. "I mean... you're not, right?" he asked turning to Kate.

"Actually..." she started, looking awkward. Castle's face became pale. "I meant to tell you..." Castle looked like he was about to pass out. The boys were gaping. "No, I'm kidding, I'm not," she said trying not to laugh.

"You were already seeing yourself buying diapers!" Ryan exclaimed.

"Kate... that's not cool," Castle said after a sigh of relief.

"I wanted to lighten the atmosphere," she explained. "You should relax a little," Kate said softly.

Castle was tensed, ready to hit the ceiling at any wrong word about Kate.

"Okay, you're right. I'm sorry guys for talking to you like this. I just..." he told them. He was boiling inside. "I swear, if I see him again..."

"Stop thinking about him. He's not there. We are," Kate said, tenderly stroking his back with her other hand.

"Who? What's going on?" Esposito asked.

"There's been an... incident last night with one of the journalists," Kate explained.

"_Journalist_? He's just a piece of-"

"Castle," she interrupted him, giving him one of her looks.

"Let's just say that his question was insulting and degrading," Castle said.

"Who's that? Let me show him to not mess-" Esposito was ready to find the guy and teach him a lesson.

"I think he got the message pretty clearly already," Kate said looking at Castle.

They were all looking at him, wondering how far he had gone to put his message across.

"Castle kicking the hell out of a guy, I'd like to see that."

"Trust me you don't," Martha intervened, looking at her son.

"Right... You were there," Castle remembered.

"You beat the crap out of the guy?" Esposito asked wanting to know what Martha was talking about.

"No, I didn't. Not that one. But... let's just say that about a decade ago, I _convinced_ a paparazzi to find another job." The boys were looking at him, stunned. "You know me. You know how protective I can be. It's not a good idea to lash out at people I care about, even more at my daughter. This guy learnt it at his expense," Castle explained, nervously playing with his cards. The man had ended up in hospital. He had chosen not to sue Castle for fear of being sued himself for harassment and breaking privacy. "Alright can we... Can we go back to the game? Please?"

# # # # #

Finally, some peace. It was just the two of them. Going to bed, Castle covered her with kisses. If only he had bet more than money... They didn't need that to have fun though. He kissed her on her belly as her hand ran through his hair.

"Don't worry, there's nobody there," she said reminding him of the conversation they had had during the game.

"I'm not worried," he craned his head to look at her.

"But you sounded relief when I said I wasn't pregnant," she simply noted.

"That doesn't mean I wouldn't be happy about it," he said coming back next to her.

They stayed a minute looking at each other in silence. Neither of them knew what to say after that. Saying they would like it could add much more pressure and would automatically mean a high level of commitment. On the other hand, saying they didn't want one could put a damper on the relationship and put their commitment into question.

"Okay, I'm going first," Castle said, jumping in. He was laid beside her, leant on his elbow, his head in his hand. "I've thought about it. I think that one day, maybe... yes. I wouldn't be against it. I just... want us to take our time, to go one step at a time and see where that leads us. But I won't lie to you. I imagined what it would be like to have a little Katie or a little Junior running around our place," he said with a smile, obviously picturing it as he spoke. "You'd buy him police or sheriff toys for his birthday or you could teach our daughter self-defense. Pretty useful in our society nowadays..." he thought out loud. "He would have your wonderful eyes and my perfect hair. Or she would have your silky hair and my blue eyes..."

Kate was smiling tenderly at him, as he told her what he had imagined. It sounded lovely and like he had put a lot of thought about it.

"What about you? What's your opinion on this?" he asked, eager to know her thoughts.

"I think we're pretty much on the same page," she admitted.

"Really?" he said, happily surprised.

"Yes. One day maybe, but not now, not so soon. I'm not ready for that yet. And really... Junior? C'mon, you'd have to come up with better than that."

"Yeah, well... we're not there yet, no discussion about the first name. No pressure, okay? Enough with people talking about pregnancy and marriage," he said in a sigh lying on his back.

"Marriage? Who talked about marriage?!" she said raising her head.

"Hm..." he did, realizing no one had talked to Kate about marriage, only to him. "Gates. And Alexis."

"What?!"

"When I told Gates our relationship was going to be public she thought it was because we were getting married. Alexis... she's just... a little scared."

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah she just... felt a little excluded because she wasn't around as much as she used to be. You know, before graduating she talked to me about being scared to move on, scared because things would change. That's what her graduation speech was all about," he remembered. "She wasn't so wrong. Things are changing," he said lost in his thoughts. "But marriage is a big step... that we are not in any hurry to make. Right?" he asked, hoping for an approval.

Kate nodded in agreement, before cuddling with him. So far what they had was enough and more than she had ever had with anyone before.

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_Reviews are always appreciated! :)_**

* * *

A/N: Don't worry, the fun is back in the following chapters. ;) I like to have both serious scenes and fun moments in my story.


	36. Chapter 36

_Sorry for the very long wait! I was writing another Castle story that I wanted to finish before ***SPOILER *** the episode on which it is based airs..._

**CHAPTER 36**

* * *

When Kate woke up, she immediately realized something was wrong. Not only was she alone in bed, she could barely move her arm. She was handcuffed to the bed. She rolled her eyes and let her head fall on the pillow. _What the_- She jiggled her wrist when she heard footsteps, someone was coming. Castle stopped and stared at her from the doorway.

"I think _next time_ has come," he said raising eyebrows. "Finally."

"Except that I'm handcuffed to the bed, not to you."

"I can arrange that," he said showing a second pair of handcuffs.

"How many do you have?" she asked, surprised.

"Two," he said as he walked in. "Just enough. Hey, look what I found!" he said all excited.

Castle looked like a kid who wanted to show his best friend the present he got for his birthday. Apparently, it was the best present ever. He reached for something at the foot of the bed.

Kate bursted into laughter when she saw it, she couldn't stop. Tears ran down her cheeks, she wiped them off with her free hand. She opened her mouth to speak, but she immediately laughed again.

"Much cuter and less dangerous than the one we've inopportunely met!" he said looking at the sixteen-inch stuffed tiger he was holding. He hid his head behind it and walked towards Kate, roaring and voicing the tiger. "Hungry. I'm hungry. I know there's some very tasty flesh around here..."

She had her free hand on her mouth, trying to prevent herself from laughing again. She was shaking her head, she couldn't believe it. He was near the bed, leaning forward a bit. He moved the stuffed tiger away from his head so he could look at her. His marvelous imagination and childish excitement never ceased to amaze her. She looked at him with tenderness and wonder, biting her lip.

"You're a genius Castle, that's why I love you!" she said with a big loving smile on her face.

As soon as it was out, she realized she had said it out loud. Her smile quickly faded away. Castle stood there, speechless, his eyes wide open. It had been so genuine. Heartfelt. She had not even thought about it before actually saying those three little words. She really meant it. And he didn't expect it. At least, not that day. They stayed staring at each other for a minute before Kate eventually looked away. She had no way of hiding or escaping the consequences of those three little words. She had to face it, to face him.

She had known for a while now that she loved him but she had been scared of uttering it. Kate always thought it would have come out of her mouth in another one of their life-threatening moments. She had not prepared herself for this. It had caught her completely off-guard.

"It's probably not the way you wanted me to say it..." she apologized.

And it was probably not the way _she_ had wanted to say it. Castle shook his head, looking at her with wonder.

"You could have said it in Japanese, I would have been just as happy," he smiled.

"Well..." she said shyly. "I think you can... remove the handcuffs now, you know that... I'm not going anywhere. I'm not gonna run away," she said very softly, eventually looking up at him.

Yes, now he knew she would not leave him. She wasn't held hostage, she was really there of her own will.

"You were so scared by the tiger you felt you had to say it so that it would spare you?" he asked smiling.

He thought a little joke would help her in a moment like this. She simply shook her head as an answer. No, she didn't say this to protect herself. It was the opposite. Saying this actually felt like laying herself bare, putting herself in danger. The danger was to get emotionally hurt, at any moment. Castle leant forward and brushed his lips against hers, before tenderly kissing her.

"Well, that's not exactly what I had planned... but it's even better," he whispered.

He gently removed the handcuffs, allowing her to curl her arms around his neck. She kissed him back. Without looking away, he delicately put the tiger on the bed next her. He brushed her hair behind her ear, looking deep into her eyes.

"Katherine Beckett... may I make love to you?" he asked in a serious tone.

Kate stared at him for a moment with a tender smile. She slowly took his shirt off, letting it fall on the tiger, sat next to them on the bed.

"Please do," she answered.

##########

A morning that had started in silence. Unusual for Castle. For Kate too. She had become accustomed to hearing the sound of his voice almost 24/7 without any pause. But it had been hours now since she had last heard his voice. The real tone of his voice.

"Could you-" Castle started barely able to make himself heard.

His voice sounded like a whisper, it was so weak he sounded like his vocal cords were about to break.

"Shhh, you need to rest your voice," Kate gently said putting her hand on his forearm as she passed him the bowl of fruits.

"That means no talking whatsoever, son. Don't even try. We know that's hard for you. We genuinely sympathize..." Martha teased him before sharing a smile with Kate.

The three of them were having breakfast after a quick visit of the doctor.

"If only you had listened to us... Your voice was hoarse a week ago, you should have rested it then, and not wait till you can't speak at all. But you're a writer. You can write to express yourself," Kate added. "Here's a pencil and a pad of paper," she said with a smile.

"Make good use of it. There's only a limited number of pages," Martha joked.

Kate let out a laugh before kissing him on the cheek for some comfort. They were really sorry for him but they also knew this could be one funny, and memorable, time for them. Richard Castle being quiet, too rare.

_Thanks. I knew I should have learnt sign language..._ he wrote on the first page of the paper pad.

# # # # #

They arrived at the precinct an hour later. Castle was all grumpy and unable to really express his frustration, which made things even worse. He greeted the boys with a small gesture of his hand.

"Hey, Castle. How are you?" Esposito greeted him. Castle simply made the OK gesture to Esposito's astonishment. He looked questioningly at Kate. "You were so tired to hear his voice you cut his tongue or something?"

Castle showed him his tongue to prove him wrong.

"Then he lost a bet and he's not allowed to talk for a week?" Ryan suggested.

"No," Kate answered with a smile. "But that's an idea. Thank you. I'll bear that in mind for our next bet." Castle strongly shook his head to make her understand it was not a good idea. But how could he make her understand? He felt like a painter without a brush or in his case, more like a writer without a typewriter. "Loss of voice. The doctor said he needs to stay quiet for a few days... Don't know if he'll manage to do it though."

"See Castle, even your own body wants to make you understand you speak too much," Esposito joked. "Listen to your body!"

Castle could not talk. But he had another way of expressing himself. He simply banged his two fists together twice. Maybe Esposito would understand the meaning... if he had watched _Friends_, back in the days. He went to the white board. Another way of expressing himself was writing, as Kate had suggested. Expect he did not write. Castle started drawing symbols. An eye, a can, a knot, a mouth, a butt, an eye, a can, a ear, a plus symbol and a pen...

"Is that a rebus?!" Ryan asked laughing.

Suddenly everybody put on a straight face again and looked down. _What? _Castle wrote in full letters on the board.

"Mr Castle... Are you using New York's public equipment to play some rebus game with your friends?" Captain Gates asked, arms crossed.

Castle turned around shaking vigorously his head but soon realized that she was right. He turned to Kate with a puppy face, gesturing her to explain to Gates what he was doing. He was feeling helpless. He gestured to his throat, then to the rebus hoping she would sympathize with his delicate situation. A look of stupefaction crossed Gates's face.

"Wait, wait, wait..." she said holding up her hands. "Could it be that my wish has finally been granted? Shhh," Gates did holding up her finger. "Listen... Listen to that silence, in presence of Mr Castle. This is such a rare moment that must be appreciated. Enjoy it while it lasts," she said with a big smile before walking off.

Kate, Esposito and Ryan were trying to hold their laughter while Castle shook his head in irritation. He took the marker again to express his annoyance towards Gates: _ *#$%!_

He wiped it away before writing something else.

_When I'll be able to speak again, you're so gonna pay for it. All of you._

# # # # #

Castle tapped on the desk then clapped his hands to draw attention. He had an idea. A theory, rather. But how could he get it across? He stood up going for the white board, pointing at the photos and making some gestures like people arguing, kissing, being utterly shocked or cutting the head of someone...

"Great. After the rebus, here come the mimes..." Kate sighed, rolling her eyes.

Castle stopped to stare at Kate. He thought she would have had more confidence in him and would have been more compassionate. He took the marker to write something on the board.

"Is he doing rebus again?" Ryan asked not seeing what he was writing.

_I [heart]_ _U 2_, he wrote and put his hand on his heart.

"Great band, I like their music. Actually the title of one of their songs fits perfectly what I'm thinking right now: _I still haven't found what I'm looking for_, our killer!" Kate said looking at Castle.

_AH! AH! AH! _he wrote in capitals_. _He wiped it away before going back to mimes.

"Hm... Chester Bohm was eating when he-" Ryan suggested as he was trying to decipher them.

"No, they were arguing," Esposito said.

"Oh... Looked like eating a sandwich... or playing the flute," Ryan said doing the same gesture.

"That movement with his hands, it's two people talking, right? Arguing?" Esposito asked.

Castle nodded energetically before going on with his explanation. He seemed to know what he was _gesturing_ about. It was clear in his mind. But given the look on their faces, either it was not convincing or they just didn't understand his point. They frowned their eyes, perplexed. Castle was waiting for their opinion on his theory but they kept staring at him.

"Sorry, Castle, I don't think any of us understood what you were trying to... _mime_ us. Guys?" Kate asked.

"Nah, I got lost at the... cutting-thing, vertical movement..." Esposito tried to explain, shaking his head. "Sorry, bro."

Castle sighed of desperation but did not give up. He turned the white board over and took the marker. He moved his shoulders as to warm up before a physical effort and started writing at the top left of the board. He wrote and wrote, words after words. They followed him with their eyes, from left to right, from right to left, from left to right... as the board was slowing becoming darker and darker. There was black all over, words all over it.

"You think this will make him realize how many words he says in just a minute or two?" Esposito wondered.

"Mr Castle..." Castle raised his head hearing her voice. "So now you figured it would be a good idea to write your next book on that board?" Gates asked.

He took a step back and starred at the white board. It was barely white anymore. He turned to Gates, who was still waiting for a _written_ answer. Castle added a title at the top of the board: _Castle's theory_.

"Well... Let me guess, you're not the one who writes the back cover synopsis of your books, are you?"

Castle gave her a forced smile before turning to the team with a look that said _So?_

"I like your style. I may start reading your books one day," Esposito joked.

They would not leave him any respite, taking any opportunity they had to make fun of him. It was their time to tease him. And there was nothing he could do in reprisal. He was vulnerable. Castle sighed, this time he would give up. He gently put the marker down and started walking away.

"Where are you going?!" Ryan asked.

Castle turned back without looking at them and drew a house.

"To the Hamptons? No, because if you go home, technically it's not a house but an apartment so..."

"Okay guys, give him a break," Kate said trying to retain her laughter. She got up and gently stroke his back before taking a closer look at his theory. "Actually it's not that bad. We may-"

Kate got interrupted by a cellphone ringing. They all looked towards Castle, who was taking his phone out of the pocket. They were all curious as to what his next move would be. He looked at it, not sure what to do. It was Alexis. How could he possibly answer?

"You need help with this? Want me to talk to her?" Kate asked.

Castle shook his head before ignoring the call. Though he immediately wrote a message to his daughter. Writing would basically be his only way of communicating for several days.

"Those few days are gonna be _very_ long for you," Esposito said to him. "Be strong."

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_Reviews are always appreciated! :)_**


	37. Chapter 37

**CHAPTER 37**

* * *

Beckett and Castle were standing in the corridor while he was looking for the keys of his apartment.

"Okay, could you stop giving me the cold shoulder?" Kate said, tired of being ignored.

Being unable to speak she understood he hadn't said a word to her. But he had barely looked at her since they had left the precinct. Castle took his notepad and wrote. He held up the pad for her to read _Thank you for the ride._

"Wait, you don't want me stay?" she asked.

Castle wrote something else, tore up the page and gave it to her, before walking into the loft. Kate caught the door with one hand, holding the note in the other.

_What for? Making fun of me?_

"Castle!" she said following him inside. He didn't stop and kept heading directly to his office. "Wait!" she sighed.

When she got to the doorway, he was already in front of his computer. Getting ready to write. To work. That was all he could do. Kate stood there, staring at him. He looked like a little boy, sulking.

"I'm sorry." Castle didn't look up a her. "It's true the boys and I have been a little hard on you today." She went around his desk to run her hands down on his chest as she leant forward. Castle stood up, refusing her cuddle. "What do you take it so badly?" she exclaimed, not understanding his behavior. "We were just goofing around. We didn't mean to be mean." He stood there, looking at her like he didn't believe her, like it had felt nothing like a joke to him. "Fine, I'll tell the boys to stop it."

_No need_, he wrote. _I'm not going back to the precinct without my voice._

"_S_eriously? Why are you being so touchy about this? Look at what happened today. You were able to help on the case without saying a word. Rick!" she called him, as he headed towards his room, not listening to her. "Can I stay?" she asked nicely as though she wanted to make it up to him. He simply shrugged his shoulders as though she was free to do what she wanted. "I'll make dinner, okay?"

Castle took his pad and wrote _Not hungry_, before walking to his room and closing the door behind him. Kate sighed deeply. She was shaking her head in incomprehension when she heard a noise coming from the living-room. Martha was home. She noticed Kate walking out of the office.

"Oh darling, you're home. Don't worry about me, I'm just in and out. I forgot my scarf. I needed it to get in character. It's amazing how sometimes a little missing accessory just ruins your performance! Oh, and how's Richard? Has he managed to stay quiet like the doctor advised him?" Martha asked taking her scarf from the coat rack.

"Yes, he did," Kate said joining her.

To her surprise, he had managed to remain silent all day long.

"Where is he by the way?" she asked looking for him with her eyes.

"In his room..." Kate said absent-mindedly.

"Oh darling, you look concerned. What's on your mind? What happened?"

"I..." she started. Kate still had the note in her hand._ What for? Making fun of me?_ She looked at it briefly. "It's true we haven't really been as supportive as we could have been today. Even our boss made fun of this situation," she paused. "But I don't understand why he's taking this so seriously! We were just teasing him a little, ribbing him. In a nice way, it wasn't mean. And now he's giving me the cold shoulder and he refuses to go back to the precinct until he's recovered his voice..."

"Oh oh..." Martha did, understanding her son's reaction. It looked the same. It sounded the same. It probably felt the same to him. "You made fun of him all day?" she asked for clarification, like a mother would ask his son's friends in order to protect him.

"Not _all_ day... but the boys didn't really spare him either," Kate admitted.

Martha came closer as to share a secret, a story. An explanation for his behavior maybe?

"It's my fault. I should have warned you," she said, almost whispering. "There's something you need to know," she told Kate.

# # # # #

Kate was staring at him. He really looked like a little boy, huddled up on the bed who had been sent to his room without having dinner. She was not hungry either. She didn't want to have dinner on her own.

"I'm sorry," she simply said. Castle turned round to face the other side of the room, turning his back on her. "I didn't know."

Her little comment intrigued him. Castle turned his head to look at her. What was she talking about? She slowly approached the bed and sat on the side of it, Castle still having his back turned to her.

"I think we've involuntarily brought back bad memories today," she said softly. Castle just looked away. Indeed, they had. "Your mother told me," she said waiting for his reaction. There was none. "She told me you got bullied by other kids in elementary school." Kate put her hand on his shoulder, gently stroking it, squeezing it in comfort. "She told me about those kids laughing at your for not being able to speak for a week and since you could barely write at that time... That you even got beaten because they knew you couldn't scream for help, they thought it was fun..." He had refused to go back to school, just like he was refusing to go back to the precinct. "Rick, if I had known..." she whispered. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you," she said very softly. "The boys didn't either." She moved her hand to his chest. He gently took it in his as she lay her head on his shoulder. "Kids can be cruel. Adults too at times," she added resting like this for a minute, before raising her head to look at him. "See, that's why I want to know those things about you. So that I know what I can and cannot do, or say..."

If only he would open up more. He already had. She was learning about him piece by piece but there was still so much she didn't know. So much she wanted to know. Castle slowly rolled on his back and looked her in the eyes. Kate smiled shyly at him, hoping he could forgive her careless behavior. Castle gave her a little smile in return.

"Maybe... I could make it up to you... somehow," she said her hand gently going down to his crotch.

She looked at him with a sensual smile on her face making him understand she had something on her mind. He couldn't say anything. He couldn't approve, he couldn't object. Kate stood up and walked to the foot of the bed. She sensually got on all fours as she climbed on the bed. She loosened his belt, unzipped his fly and pulled out his pants a little keeping her eyes locked on his. Castle bit his lip, holding his breath. He looked around to find some paper and a pen. Finding neither, he opened his mouth but she gently put her finger on her mouth.

"Shhh, you need to rest your voice. Just relax," she said with a smile.

Castle let his head fall on the pillow when he felt her fingers on his penis. She leant forward, guided it to her mouth. Castle stiffened and moaned of pleasure when he felt her soft lips around it, her warm tongue licking it, twirling around it.

When she looked up at him again, Castle pointed at her, gesturing her to take her jeans and her panties off and to come to him. She complied without saying a word, coming back on the bed, walking on all fours. She straddled him and was ready to guide him into her but he stopped her from doing so. Instead, he shook his head and kept gesturing her to come closer and closer, up the bed.

He looked down at her crotch and looked up at her again, asking her to come sit on his face. She stared at him for a minute trying to make sure that was what he was asking. He smiled at her gently, nodding softly. Kate held on to the bed head as she was trying to find the right position.

He couldn't speak but there was still a lot he could do with his mouth, and tongue.

##########

Beckett woke up in a start when she heard the alarm clock. She hurried to slap on the machine. _What the hell!_ She hadn't set it up that early...

"Castle, that's not funny," she grumped burying her head back in the pillow.

She didn't get an answer. He was probably still sleeping. When she turned around, the vision in front of her scared her. She was alone. An empty space was all there was next to her. She called for him but got no answer. She rubbed her eyes before leaning on her elbow. His clothes were gone. His shoes were gone. There was nothing left from him in her bedroom. He had vanished.

Then she saw a tiny envelope on his pillow. Her heart raced. It was the same envelope that had accompanied her coffees the week Castle had spent in Europe. It looked bad. He had left without even waking her up, just leaving a note? A break-up note? _Coward_, she thought. It took a moment for her to process what was going on. They were fine. She thought they were fine. Great, even. How could he have done this to her? She had opened her heart to him, she had opened her home to him. They had spent a wonderful evening together. What had happened? Was he scared? He had waited for her for years and now he was throwing it all away in a heartbeat?

Kate slowly reached for the envelope but kept it in her hand a while longer, staring at it, unable to find the courage to open it. She sat up in her bed, taking a look around her. It felt empty. She felt empty. She looked at that envelope again before eventually taking the note out.

_What does it feel like to wake up alone?_

That was cruel. He had a peculiar sense of humor that she had learnt to love over the years but this was not funny. Even from him. She let herself fall on the pillow again, curling up, the note in her hand.

What did it feel like? She hated it. She hated not being awaken by his soft kisses on her neck, his warm embrace, the velvet sound of his voice when he said _good morning_, his warm breath on her shoulder, the smell of the coffee from the kitchen... the smell of the coffee? She could smell it!

Kate got up in a flash, calling for him. She headed for the stairs, still getting no answer from Castle. He had got his voice back. Why wouldn't he answer? When she got to the kitchen, she saw he had made coffee but he was nowhere to be found. A cup of coffee was set near the machine. Her favorite cup. But it also reminded her Castle was gone. He had had a set of two coffee cups made for her, to match their vests. One had _Police_ written on it, the other one, _Writer_. But the Writer cup was not on the counter, only the Police one was. And another envelope. What was he doing? What was he playing at? She was not in the mood. It was cruel to rub it in like this. Why not end it now?

_You said you didn't want to keep one foot out the door... Here's a little something that will help you get in. Any time you want, for as long as you want. May it be your second home. Always.  
__PS: I suggest you start with the front door of my apartment..._

That's when she noticed it. A key was also in the envelope. His key, that was becoming hers.

His note was clearly making references to the talk they had had on the swing on Valentine's day. Kate sat down with a sigh of relief. It wasn't over. He hadn't left. She felt like she was emerging from a bad dream.

# # # # #

Castle was unable to stand still. He was pacing up and down the loft. Then he heard the noise. The one he had been waiting for. Someone was unlocking his front door. He was standing there, a big grin on his face when he saw her on his doorway, like he had not seen her in weeks. Kate was shaking her head almost in reproach, the key in her hand.

"Welcome to your home," he said softly.

Kate approached without saying a word, not taking her eyes off him. Castle thought she was coming to kiss him good morning. Instead, he got a punch on his shoulder.

"Castle, how could you?! Don't you ever do that again!"

"What?" he asked taken by surprise. "Wasn't that sweet?"

"Sweet? Sweet?!" she repeated. "That was cruel! _What does it feel like to wake up alone_? What do you think? I hate it!" she exclaimed.

"Good," he said with a smile, very calmly. "Me too," he added not taking his eyes off hers.

They stayed staring at each other for a moment. They were on the same page. They were feeling the same way for each other and they both knew it. She came closer, putting her arms around him, resting her head on his chest, relaxing at the sound of his heart. She sighed of relief. It was not over.

"Then don't do that again. I thought..." she started, a lump in her throat.

"You thought what?" he asked. Getting no answer, he gently pulled away to look at her. "You thought... I had left?"

"You wake up and see a note on the pillow. What do you think crossed my mind? There was nothing left from you."

They stayed staring at each other for a minute. Castle had a sorry look in his eyes. He was genuinely sorry she had gone through this but sometimes you need those moments to realize something. And it was clear now, for both of them. They hated the thought of losing each other.

"I made breakfast," he said with a smile.

Kate frowned, feigning being truly upset and gave him another punch.

"It better be good," she told him sharply before cracking a smile.

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_Reviews are always appreciated! :)_**


	38. Chapter 38

**Sorry for the very long wait since the last update. Lot of things happening at the same time for me lately, and not necessarily good things so... I just had my mind somewhere else for a while. But here it is... next chapter is finally up! More to come.**

**CHAPTER 38**

* * *

Castle slowly woke up, his back turned to Kate. He blinked a few times and stretched gently. That was when he felt her arm wrapped around him like a lock around a bike, as thought she was scared of having him being stolen from her. After the way he had scared her the morning before, she didn't want to wake up alone in bed again. Castle cracked a smile.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said gently.

"We never know..." Kate answered.

She was awake. Castle turned around to face her and she immediately put her head on his shoulder. It felt good, and safe, to be in his arms.

"I'm fine right there," he whispered, putting a soft kiss on her temple. "Actually, I could stay like this all day. We should take the day off. Call in sick. Mono!" he suggested. "Too much kissing," he smiled. "Okay, not funny..." he added after she gave her the look.

They stayed cuddling for a minute, before Castle started covering her with kisses as he was going down.

"Nope, Castle, you stay up here," she said holding him back as her cellphone rang.

She instinctively went for it.

"Don't pick up, don't... Nooo!" he sighed as she picked up anyway.

He buried his face on her side and kissed her softly, not far from her long scar.

"Ryan! How are you?" Kate asked.

"Leave us alone!" Castle said loud enough for Ryan to hear.

"Is that Castle I hear?"

"You bet that's me. Who do you think she'd be with at this time in the morning?"

"What's up?" Kate asked as though nothing happened.

"I'm sorry... Am I interrupting something?" Ryan asked, thinking the situation was a little awkward.

"You're not interrupting," Kate reassured him.

"Yes you are," Castle jumped in. "We're busy," he said before moaning.

"Castle!" Kate exclaimed in a whisper, telling him off.

If only he could keep his mouth shut.

"Maybe I should call back later..." Ryan suggested.

"That's right, when we're done here," Castle joked. He got punched by Kate who didn't like his false allusion. "Ouch, Kate, not that hard," he said with a sensual voice as though they were doing something different. He got another punch. "Mmm, that's good. I like it, keep going," he said as he started laughing, his hand running along her leg.

"Ryan, I'm gonna have to call you back," Kate said in a hurry, hanging up on him.

Castle was almost dying of laughter, proud of his childish trick. Kate vigorously made him roll on his back and straddled him, holding his hands down on each side of his head.

"Mmm, sexy..." he said.

"Castle! Are you out of your mind?! What do you think is going through his mind right now?"

"He's undoubtedly thinking we're having_ fun_... Adult kind of fun. And given the way you're straddling me right now-"

Kate was giving him her look. She was not in the mood.

"He's my friend but he's also my colleague. I work with him, everyday. He can't keep his mouth shut so you can bet that Espo will be told this little-"

"Oh please! They know we're together. They should suspect we would be together at this time in the morning. In bed. Either sleeping or..." he said looking down to her breast with a mischievous smile. "By the way now that he thinks we're... maybe we could actually..." he suggested.

# # # # #

Beckett and Castle arrived at the crime scene a little later than the rest of the team. Esposito and Ryan were already there, taking notes.

"Guys," Castle greeted them.

"Interesting... No coffee? You got another _stimulant_ already today?" Esposito asked all smile seeing them empty-handed.

Kate gave Castle her look. She was right. News, and rumors especially, traveled fast.

"We already had coffee back home and since it was getting late... I didn't said getting _laid_, I said getting _late,_" Castle made clear seeing Ryan and Esposito share a look.

"Could be both," they laughed.

"Castle played a joke on you Ryan, okay? We were not really-"

"Hm, hm," he did, looking at them both.

Kate could see Ryan was trying to picture them together and she would have a hard time making him change his mind.

"Okay, what do we have?" Kate asked rolling her eyes, wanting to go back to work.

"An interesting information. You are more the morning type apparently..." Lanie jumped in, giving her a wink.

"Morning, evening, day, night, it's all good, trust me," Castle joked.

"You're digging your own grave, buddy..." Esposito said, shaking his head.

Castle realized that he was right. That was not the best comment to make in presence of Kate Beckett when her colleagues were around.

"We're here for work, remember? " Kate said hoping they would change subject.

"I told you we should have taken the day off," Castle reminded her.

"To do what?" Esposito asked in a serious tone, as though he was really interested in knowing what they plans would have been.

"Stay in bed _all_ day," Castle said with a smile before realizing his mistake.

"That's just too easy..." Ryan smiled looking at Esposito.

Castle wasn't making any progress on learning to think before speaking.

"Castle?" Kate said very gently.

"Yes, honey?" he said turning to look at her.

The boys and Lanie were looking at them with a grin on their face when they heard that. They sounded so married. They already did before but now that they were together, it was a hundred times worse. Or better, depending on how you looked at it.

"You say one more word about this and not... _him..._" she said pointing at the dead body, "you won't have _fun_ for an entire week," she warned him, using the three-letter word he had used that morning.

It was nothing short of blackmail. Castle chuckled, not taking her seriously.

"You wouldn't-" _be able to stay a week without_... "... want to tell us what this poor gentleman is doing here?" Castle rectified, in a serious tone, turning to the boys and Lanie.

"Not much at the moment, except lying there, dead," Esposito said looking at the dead body.

"I know, I meant _why,_" Castle said sounding like an experienced cop. "Do we already have a name, age, profession? Any witnesses maybe? Lanie, any cause of death yet?"

"What did I say... _Stimulant_," Esposito said with a smile.

##########

Castle's fingers were on the move. He had finally managed to take time to work on the end of his chapter while Kate was spending the afternoon with her father. She was supposed to come take him out for dinner that evening.

Castle was typing when he heard a noise. He stopped and took his eyes off the screen. Nothing suspicious. He went back to typing after a few seconds. But he soon stopped again and looked up, like a predator on a lookout for his prey. Through the shelves used as walls for his office, he could see a shadow crossing his living room. He got up to check.

"You're... early!" Castle exclaimed taking a peek at his watch.

"Yeah, sorry. I should have called," Kate said as she put two bags of groceries on his kitchen counter.

"No, no, please you're here at home," he said approaching. "You can come and go as you want," he told her. "Well... _come_. _Go_... I'm not fond of that, I'm not fond of you leaving," he joked. "What is this?" he asked looking into the bags.

"I know we said we'd go out for dinner but I saw this recipe on a website that I'd really like to try. If you don't mind..." she asked shyly, as she took off her coat.

"I don't," he said with a smile. "And... what's the occasion?"

"No occasion. Nothing special."

"Oh," he did sounding disappointed. "And I thought it was because I solved your case, that looked unsolvable to many. Or maybe because of last night... But cooking for no reason is good too. Here, let me help you," he said wanting to take care of the second bag.

"No!" she exclaimed, taking him by surprise. "You go write that book," she said.

"Well I..." Castle was hesitant. He looked to his office and then turned to look at Kate again. He was almost scrutinizing her. "Are you sure?"

"You think I can't handle it?" she frowned.

"No! No, it's not that... It just feels awkward to let you do this on your own."

"Thanks for wanting to help, but I'll be okay," she reassured him.

"Okay... Hm... Well if you're looking for something feel free to look everywhere. And you can always come ask me. I'll be right there," he said pointing behind him, to his office. "I'll leave the door open-"

"No... I don't think it's a good idea. It will distract you. And me," Kate said with a smile.

"Okay. I... I'm going back then... I'll come check on you," he said before turning back, looking at her one last time before closing the door of his office again.

# # # # #

Castle had surprised himself writing names of vegetables and spices in that last paragraphs. The delicious smells coming from the kitchen weren't helping. Fortunately he had noticed his mistakes. But he would have to read that chapter again to make sure he hadn't left out a few of them in the middle of it.

He slowly opened the door of his office and stood there, staring lovingly at her. Kate was completely focused on her cooking. She would sometimes take a quick look at her phone to read the recipe. His eyes were full admiration and wonder.

"How's the Chef doing?" Castle joked as he joined her to the kitchen.

"Oh Castle, can you look how much red wine I need for the sauce?" she asked as she seemed to be doing five things at the time.

"Sure," he said pushing the home button to turn her phone on.

He froze for a second seeing the background photo she was now using. He hadn't seen it yet. It was a picture of the two of them together. A picture she had taken with her phone. She could use it now that their relationship had been made public.

"Castle?" she asked, not leaving sight of her saucepan.

"Yeah," he said hurrying to unlock it and look at the recipe. "750-milliliter."

Castle went around her to get closer from the pan, as she was adding the wine. It looked good. It smelt good. Castle was eager to find out if it tasted as good. He plunged his finger in the pan of sauce and licked it.

"Mmmm, that's... incredible, excellent!" he exclaimed, eyes-closed.

He couldn't help but plunge his finger back to get some more.

"Castle!" she exclaimed. "That's... You had your finger in your mouth and you put it back in it!"

"Oh, as though you had never taste my sali-" he stopped when she gave her one of her looks. _Saliva_. Yeah, kissing. Not in the food. "Want some?" he said, holding out his finger covered with sauce.

"I..." she said hesitantly, but she eventually gave it a try, sucking his finger. "Wow!" she exclaimed, her eyes wide open.

"Right? Don't touch it, don't add anything else. I don't care what the recipe says. This is perfect. You can cook for me whenever you want," he said his hand on her lower back, staring at her the same way he had a few minutes earlier, from his office.

"What?" she asked with a smile.

"Nothing," he said going to the cupboard to get the plates.

"No seriously, what is it? Why were you looking at me like that?" she said, turning around to face him.

Castle leant back against the kitchen cabinet.

"I don't... want to make you feel uncomfortable."

"Too late, you already have. More than once..." she joked.

"Right... Hm... Okay. The... The other day, you said... you loved me," he started and soon saw her look down. "I was just wondering... how you came from hating me to liking me..._ a lot_," he smiled.

"I didn't hate you," she answered, surprised he would think that. "I was a fan."

"Yeah well, of my books. You weren't so fond of me if I recall."

Kate slowly came closer. He wasn't wrong after all. She didn't hate him, but at first she couldn't stand his attitude, his childish behavior.

"We both changed a lot," she said playing with the button of his shirt. "That self-deprecating, always-making-fun-of-everything playboy you were let place to the real you, more authentic, genuine. I really like that. And... when we met, it was a time of my life where _work_ was my life. I didn't even know what fun meant anymore. You brought back that fun into my life again. You made me feel alive again. And for that I'm so happy we met," she said with a tender smile, caressing his cheek.

"Funny... how I feel the opposite," Castle said, pensive. Kate looked at him confused. Did he mean he wasn't so happy they had met? "I feel like... you brought some seriousness to a life overran by fun. You made me grow up a little-"

"Just a little," she teased.

"Just a little..." He smiled tenderly. "I started taking things more seriously once I knew you. I cared more," he said as though he was thinking back of those years spend by her side.

"Maybe the yin has found its yang... while yin-yin is living a quiet life in a Chinese forrest," she joked.

"Nice," Castle chuckled.

Yin-Yin... the panda. She remembered that joked he had made about how her dating a male version of her was more yin-yin than yin-yang and how it sounded like a panda name. Castle leant forward for a kiss but he pulled back quickly.

"Wow, watch out!" he exclaimed going for the hot plate.

The water from the pasta was boiling over.

"I'm sorry," she said, wincing.

"It's okay, it's okay, I got it," he said taking the pan off the plate. He wiped the water off the plate and put the pasta in the colander, adding some butter. Kate was looking at him handling the situation. She could tell he was used to cooking. He knew what he was doing, like a little chef. "There you go," he said softly, putting the pan back on the plate, giving her a smile as he put his hand on her lower back again. "Well... if it's like you and tastes as good as it looks... we're in for a treat!"

This time, there was no boiling water. They could share a kiss in all safety. Castle seemed to be craving for more.

"Mm, mm," she did her lips still locked on his. "Dinner first," she said.

"Right... you're my desert. My little sweet," he smiled. "Oh, desert! Just so you know, I often add whipped cream to my desert..." he said with a mischievous look.

"We'll see about that..." Kate smiled.

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_Reviews are always appreciated! :)_**


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